Perl would be Voodoo – An incomprehensible series of arcane incantations that involve the blood of goats and permanently corrupt your soul. Often used when your boss requires you to do an urgent task at 21:00 on friday night. From If programming languages were religions…, via mt’s shared list.
The comments add Fortran and Assembler. I do C nowadays. Matlab and IDL don’t get a look in.