Stranger Fruit

Intelligent Laws of Motion

Newton was, as we all know, a Christian. Creationists apologists for “good science” being rooted in Christianity avoid his heretical anti-trinitarianism, but that is an issue for another day. Today, from F.U.B.A.R. and via Daily Kos, I give you ID versions of Newton’s Laws of Motion:

  1. Newton’s Law of Inertia: Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it by something, or someone, since only an intelligent agent of some kind (not necessarily God, but not necessarily not God) could recognize that this object was in motion and decide to “apply” an external force.
  2. Newton’s Law of Dynamics: the acceleration (a) of an object is directly proportional to the net force (f) exerted and inversely proportional to the object’s mass (m) [and] is derived from the wishes of the intelligent agent—not God but maybe God
  3. Newton’s Law of reciprocal Actions: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, unless an intelligent agent who may or may not answer to the name of “God” wishes it to be only some actions or not quite equal reaction, or, really, anything else, in which case, it is those things, because he’s the designer, and if you don’t like it, design your own fucking universe.