Stranger Fruit

Creationist Robert Bowie Johnson Jr. has just published a book detailing Noah’s role in Greek art as a known historical figure. Yeah, *that* Noah. Johnson says:

“In Greek art, we find detailed, consistent portrayals of the early Genesis themes including: the ancient garden, the serpent-entwined apple tree, the first family, Cain killing Abel, the Flood, and the successful rebellion against Noah after the Flood. Greek artists made the gods look just like people because that’s who they were–our ancestors. Socrates himself referred to the gods as such”

As this article notes:

To shock the Darwinists out of their denial of the overwhelming evidence in Greek art for the reality of Genesis events, the author urges Creationists to refer to evolutionists as what they imagine they are–“Slime-Snake-Monkey-People.” Mr. Johnson, who holds a general science degree from West Point, also suggests that since Slime-Snake-Monkey-People insist they evolved over millions of years through a countless series of random mutations, Christians should also refer to them as “mutants.”


  1. #1 Pete Dunkelberg
    August 21, 2007

    Classical Greek art? So the Gods were gay?
    Who knew?

  2. #2 J-Dog
    August 21, 2007

    Yeah.. And don’t forget JC and the 12 “apostles” (I think this is equivalent to today’s posse, or Who You Like To Watch American Idol With) – what’s up with that? 13 guys, living together, wearing al those fabulous “robes” – Got to be some of Teh Gay going on there IMO.

    I think Robbie Bowie Johnson is just using his Greek theory to set up a meet with the 100% “reformed ” Ted Haggard.

  3. #3 John Lynch
    August 21, 2007

    I should note that PZ beat me to this. Damn his hide!

  4. #4 blf
    August 21, 2007

    Slime-snake-monkey-people mutants?

    Eeeek! Oook!

    No, no, not the M-word! That should be slime-snake-ape-people…


  5. #5 Fastlane
    August 22, 2007

    Well, since their all about the name calling, we can just call them what they are, right??

    What be most approriate, fundy-nutbags, christofascists, or the old but accurate moniker of ‘morons’? =)

    Hi from a former (and hopefully soon to be again) Arizonan.

  6. #6 DragonScholar
    August 22, 2007

    I see David Icke is getting competition.

  7. #7 Robert Bowie Johnson, Jr.
    August 23, 2007

    I point out in Section IV of my book NOAH IN ANCIENT GREEK ART that slime-snake-monkey-people, a.k.a. mutants, never bother to examine the evidence I present maintaining that Greek art tells the same story as Genesis except from the point of view that the serpent “enlightened” rather than deluded the first couple in paradise.
    I present 27 vase images of the Greek version of Noah, and one sculpted image from the altar of Zeus at Pergamum. I’ve read over a hundred reactions to my press release by mutant randomites, and not one of them attempts to refute my evidence. Thiey just deny and name-call.
    You can read Section IV of my book on my web site “The Mainstream’s Blindness to our Origins.”

  8. #8 Ben D
    August 23, 2007

    Robert – your site appears to consist of pictures of Greek art, mixed with bald assertions that (for example) the old guy with a beard is Noah. Where is the evidence to refute?

  9. #9 DragonScholar
    August 23, 2007

    Mr. Johnson,

    First of all, saying people deny and name call while refering to them by name calling certainly diminishes your case. Keep that in mind – violating your own stated principles will call into question your integrety.

    As for your cases, having visited your site, you apparently show no or little evidence beyond the fact that there are certain images and motifs that appear that in turn you can map back, vaguely, to certain interpretations of Biblical events. A simple matter of connecting the dots proves nothing – one can witness similar activites throughout history. Further proof is certainly needed, not some relatively simple pictoral comparisons.

    In turn, I would turn your questions around – why are we to assume the stories of Noah are legitimate, and not derived in turn from additional, earlier cultures? Flood motifs are relatively common around the world.

  10. #10 John Lynch
    August 23, 2007

    As Johnson himself says, “It’s a simple matter of name-calling–accurate name-calling.”

  11. #11 DragonScholar
    August 23, 2007

    I see Mr. Johnson has yet to respond. I am somehow not surprised, but remain hopeful.

    John, your post to his article on name-calling is rather enlightening of itself. He seems to feel that if he calls us names that he will embarass us into compliance – as opposed to us coming to the conclusion that he is as ill-mannered as he is ill-informed.

    I say we take his rude attempt at insult and turn it around. Declare yourself, proudly, an SSMP! A Slime-Snake-Monkey Person!

    (Also I vote Slime-Snake-Monkey Person is a great name for a Devo cover band)

  12. #12 AlanWCan
    August 23, 2007

    Hey, I think you can map many of those pics forward to ZZ Top. So I guess that’s where the churches got it wrong: it should be gimme all your lovin’ instead of gimme all your money. Who knew…?

  13. #13 Badger3k
    August 23, 2007

    So far, all the signs of conspiracy theory crackpottery. I’m almost afraid to put him up to the crackpot index.

  14. #14 tourettist
    August 23, 2007

    WHAT!?! Did somebody say the “mutant randomites” engaged in name-calling? What kind of “Slime-Snake-Monkey-People” are those mutant randomites?!

  15. #15 Chuck C
    August 24, 2007

    Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil Slime-Snake-Monkey-People, that’s what kind! Thye kind that meet secretly in basements and plot to turn the world’s children gay. And atheist. And left-handed.

  16. #16 Jason Failes
    August 24, 2007

    Thanks AlanWCan for the link: Those are some seriously unconvincing pictures.

    And Mr. Johnson (You dust-sin-rib-cross person), maybe you could do a little research next time regarding the Noah myth. It’s fairly clearly lifted from earlier works. So your “research” proves, what, the literal truth of Gilgamesh?

  17. #17 Sarcastro
    August 24, 2007

    Wait a minute, Noah was Nereus not Deucalion?


    This ain’t even a flood story figure, Nereus was a helladic sea deity.

  18. #18 Freethinker
    August 24, 2007

    Mr Johnson, I have not seen such a distorted view of reality since, since, hmm, we popped those little pills back in the sixties.
    Those Greek vases are far out, man..

  19. #19 shrimplate
    August 24, 2007

    The great Greek tragic mythologies about Troy also have direct parallels in Biblical scripture, proving once and for all that the word of god had been spread throughout ancient cultures.

    No, not really.

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