Stranger Fruit

I’ve had an epiphany

I’ve seen the light, had an epiphany even. Tom Cruise tells us:

Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident, its not like anyone else. As you drive past you know you have to do something about because you know you’re the only one that can really help.

and later

We are the authorities on getting people off drugs. We are the authorities on the mind. We are the authorities on improving conditions. Criminal, we can rehabilitate criminals, way to happiness, we can bring peace, unite cultures.

Is there anything Scientology can’t do? Probably not, according to Cruise.

So I’ve had an idea. Let’s clear the Green Zone, bring the troops back home and have the Church of Scientology bring peace to Iraq. You know, "unite cultures". Let the Scientologists put their asses where their mouths are.

Oh, what’s that you say? They wont go?

Why not? The Iraqis have no money.

Figures.

(and this, my friends, has been – and will be – my only post about Tom Cruise)

Comments

  1. #1 pough
    January 26, 2008

    If you’re up for another epiphany, the real Jerry in Jerry Maguire has one for you: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/3f716ffebe

  2. #2 Orac
    January 26, 2008

    I bet you didn’t know that Scientology can even treat trauma patients.

  3. #3 R N B
    January 26, 2008

    Iraq is a big jump. As a first step, if they are the only ones who know what to do after an accident, surely they should replace all the paramedics in ambulances? See how they deal with a real emergency.

    But seriously, why doesn’t an interviewer ever question one of these people for “evidence” of these claims?

  4. #4 John Lynch
    January 26, 2008

    But seriously, why doesn’t an interviewer ever question one of these people for “evidence” of these claims?

    Because, in this case at least, the video originates from Scientologists?

  5. #5 John McKay
    January 26, 2008

    Apparently, Scientologists aren’t real strong on grammar.

  6. #6 JohnnieCanuck, FCD
    January 26, 2008

    Their grammar may be bad, but their ethics are about as low as it is possible for them to be.

    Cruise has been told the big lie(s) so many times, he now believes and is willing to lie himself. Good thing actors never get elected to high office.

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