The cool kids are wondering what happens when you:
- Take out your iPod (or Zune, I guess…really, who buys a Zune?)
- Press shuffle songs.
- Answer the following: a) How many songs before you come to one that would absolutely disqualify you from being President? b) What is that song?
After a random intro from the album Words that Shook the World, I got:
At this point, I’d be accused simultaneously of being an elitist world-music-loving dick, and of being a s3kr1t Muslim, and could never be president.
After that, I had Vivaldi’s “Concerto in F major for 2 Horns – III. Allegro non molto” from the album Brass — 3 Centuries of Golden Sounds (4:18).
I think that’d reinforce the elitist thing, but would be harmless politically. Not so with “Here Without You” by The Byrds from the album Mr Tambourine Man (1965, 2:38). Mixed with the Percy Sledge, there’s a potential infidelity theme in my random music, and voters would get concerned about it.
Then I got another random bit of world music with crappy metadata. The repeated world-music-wanker theme would combine with questions about the legality of how I obtained the song to sink my presidential ambitions. If it didn’t I think I’d be done in by the sexual innuendo of “Just a Little Heat” by The Black Keys from the album Magic Potion (2006, 3:42), or these lyrics from “Karen Revisited” by Sonic Youth from the album Murray Street (2002, 11:10).
She takes a plastic pill
She plays the weatherman
She screams “Religion kills
More than it saves you, man”
She painted filigrees
She was the acid queen
She claims society
Is just a fever dream
What songs would disqualify you?