Slacktivist has an interesting plan for abstinence education:

Two things I’ve never been able to figure out about “abstinence only” sex education.

1. Isn’t it necessary, at some point, to describe what it is, exactly (or even generally), that they’re supposed to be abstaining from?

2. Since the goal here seems to be to put off or delay the onset of sexual activity, why bother with abstinence only sex ed at all? Why not just create a curriculum to instill a crippling social awkwardness?

I sometimes wonder if that’s not the real purpose of religious home-schooling. And of “Christian T-shirts.

Clearly, this is a powerful argument in favor of more and better science classes and science labs. Nothing inculcates social awkwardness than goggles, lab coats, the smell of fetal pig preservative, and the pasty skin which follow from hours of lab work. Nothing makes one less able to talk sensibly to members of the opposite sex than an early introduction to computer programming. There is no better way to keep kids hands off of one another than to fill them with bug nets and killing jars, except perhaps to give them bird books and binoculars.

Yes, enough dissections and bird watching will require some discussion of sex, but only in terms so clinical that the only kids interested in having sex will be those mature enough to handle it.

Why didn’t I think of this before?


  1. #1 Amar
    January 26, 2009

    This argument can apply to video games, dungeons and dragons, and public masturbation as well!

  2. #2 Sigmund
    January 27, 2009

    You’ve reminded me of this old abstinence advert.

  3. #3 Paul Lamb
    January 28, 2009

    I’d read somewhere (maybe here) that it is often the same people who say out of one side of their mouth that sex education will lead to risky behavior while out of the other side of their mouth that gun safety education will lead to more responsible behavior.

  4. #4 Ouchimoo
    January 28, 2009

    You know, I just wonder if abstinence only is just code word for well we’re gonna tell you not to have sex, you won’t listen to us, get knocked up but then we can say we told you so and your a horrible human being but we love you anyways as long as you are completely subservient and obedient. Then have lots of babies so we can out-breed those “evil” people.

    Really that is the only thing I can think about. I mean, what if a couple doesn’t want kids but got married. It’s like an unthinkable option.

  5. #5 James Dean
    January 28, 2009

    That’s got to be the funniest thing I’ve heard all day.

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