The Cheerful Oncologist

Your Doctor Just Might Be a Moron

7 Medical Myths Even Doctors Believe

Uh oh…I hate it when they raise serious questions about the strength of my medical training. Go ahead and give me the list and I’ll confess as to whether or not I fell for these myths; if fact, how do I know that I’m not in the right? Aren’t doctors known for their stubbornness? So there! Anyway, go ahead.

1. We use only 10 percent of our brains.

Disagree. Based on the intellectual prowess manifested by our country’s top role models I say no more than 3% of neurons available for duty are ever put into action.

2. You should drink at least eight glasses of water a day.

Agree. So what if “there is no medical evidence to suggest that you need that much water.” If nothing else it gets a fellow up out of the chair and running hard several times a day and night, if you catch my drift.

3. Fingernails and hair grow after death.

Agree. ” Most physicians queried on this one initially thought it was true. Upon further reflection, they realized it’s impossible.” Ha! That ain’t the way I heard it back in the day when I was moonlighting (that’s moonlighting, not moonshining) in the Cumberland Mountains of Tennessee. Folks there seen a lot a strange things in the world, and I ain’t ’bout to argue with ‘em.

4. Shaved hair grows back faster, coarser and darker.

Agree. You mean this isn’t the case? Tell that to my family!

5. Reading in dim light ruins your eyesight.

Disagree. (See? I knew I’d get one right). Everybody knows what really ruins your eyesight.

6. Eating turkey makes you drowsy.

Agree. “The thing is, a chemical in turkey called tryptophan is known to cause drowsiness. But turkey doesn’t contain any more of it than does chicken or beef. This myth is fueled by the fact that turkey is often eaten with a colossal holiday meal, often accompanied by alcohol — both things that will make you sleepy.” Poppycock! I’ve been falling asleep after eating turkey for years, and have never had sensations of somnolence after one of grandma’s chicken dinners. Of course, for real help with insomnia I recommend reading this- out loud if you want to stupify the whole room.

7. Mobile phones are dangerous in hospitals.

Disagree. “To the contrary, when doctors use mobile phones, the improved communication means they make fewer mistakes.” What?! Doctors make mistakes? Somebody send me an iPhone, but quick!

Comments

  1. #1 Sandra
    December 21, 2007

    We don’t use 10% of our brain, we use our brains 10% of the time.

  2. #2 aj
    December 26, 2007

    I’ve never once witnessed a doctor using his cell phone for the purpose of obtaining the latest in medical information to give the patient sitting/standing/laying before him the best care – in fact I’ve witnessed such so called professionals taking calls that interrupt the attention and time that should be devoted to the aforementioned patient in the first place.

    AND please you medical types “practice” medicine – which in turns means mistakes will be made. Get over yourselves. Long educations and sleep deprivation do not make you god.

    Sounds to me though that you a least have a sense of humor…