In addition to heart disease, hypertension, cancer and diabetes, obesity has been linked to sleep apnea, job absenteeism, bad breath, even isolated findings such as an increased risk of dying from prostate cancer after definitive treatment.
Wouldn’t most of us agree that it is in our best health interests to keep our weight down? Okay, and wouldn’t all of us agree that we gain weight by putting things inside of our mouths and then swallowing them? And don’t these things contain nutrients that, if swallowed in excess of what is needed for metabolism, are stored in our bodies as adipose tissue, thus leading to the health problem called obesity?
Now, here’s the key point – how do we perceive the things we put in our mouths? As they touch the taste buds, do they bring us pleasure? Would we be thrilled to put items such as a handful of dandelion leaves in there, or a wad of Elmer’s Glue, or maybe a nice cupful of Fido’s kibble?
You see what I mean? We basically prefer swallowing stuff that our taste buds find delectable, and things that contain fat or carbohydrates (called “food”) are what we swoon over. If we’re fighting the war on obesity, junk food is our Mata Hari, ready to betray us for a few moments of ecstasy. I ought to know – I’ve been double-crossed plenty of times and have only myself to blame, although I still think it was worth the extra flab.
Well, it’s time to put an end to this whoring around. I need to start treating my taste buds with more dignity and stop seducing them with every high fat, high fructose corn syrup temptress that happens to end up in my pantry. I now raise my right hand and pledge the following:
Resolution No. 2: Quit abusing the privilege of having a magnificent set of taste buds.
I will not eat ice cream, no matter what new flavors come out from Ben & Jerrys – those traitors.
I will not eat cheese-infused potato chips, even if I just happen to be on the couch and a rerun of “I Love Lucy” comes on.
I will not drink sugary sodas, no matter how many advertisements I see suggesting that I am a geek and a loser for avoiding them.
I will not put the following on my prime rib: butter, sour cream, blue cheese, bacon, lard, Starbucks Java Chip ice cream or fried brains. In fact, I will eschew red meat like a country parson strolling past a darkened doorway on Bourbon Street.
I will not eat cupcakes, pie, cookies, pizza, birthday cake nor will I open those little golden boxes from Godiva (which by the way are the closest thing one can get to the food of the Gods – not that I would know personally).