A joke I heard over the beebs as I was driving today. I paraphrase.
An old lady was talking to a friend.
The Friend: “You seem quite happy and in good shape. What’s the secret?”
Old Lady: “I have two packs of cigarette everyday. Drink a bottle of whiskey every week and gorge on fatty food all year.”
The Friend: “My! That’s something! How old are you?”
Old Lady: “26”.