Zuska is the kick-ass alter-ego of Suzanne E Franks. When not dispensing Zuska's wisdom, Suzanne can often be found gardening, reading, or having one of her thrice-weekly migraines.
I've been thinking a lot lately, and it seems to me that I spend way too much time puking on other peoples' shoes and not nearly enough time prancing about in my own fancy high heels. So this past weekend I did some shopping. Here's one result:
Let me tell you, Mr. Zuska is happy about this turn of events! I also got these:
Of course, after an evening in those, I couldn't walk at all the next day due to my arthritic toes but it was all worth it, because I knew I had finally consumed my way into modern womanhood. I know this because I was reading Mechanical Brides: Women and Machines from Home to Office, a 1993 publication of the Cooper-Hewitt museum that accompanied an exhibit by the same name. And I came across this quote which explained it all to me:
A person articulates herself as female in part through the material objects and images that frame her daily activities. "Gender" is the set of behavioral norms and expectations that members of a given society attribute to the physical differences between women and men. In the words of anthropologist Gayle Rubin, who has analysed the difference between biological "sex" and cultural "gender," the making of a woman is a social process. Feminist studies of design and technology look at products, buildings, cities, and media in relation to women users. Although the built environment is designed largely by men, much of it is constructed with female consumers in mind; design thus contributes to the "making" of modern women.
I gotta tell ya, I am tickled pink to be articulating myself as female today!
Comments
Oh noes Zuska. Those shoes just scream "tools of the patriarchy!" Of course, I should talk. I've been prancing around in these all week. they'll be just perfect for my field lab this afternoon.
Posted by: ScienceWoman | April 1, 2009 9:23 AM
But think of the possibilities! You can puke on their shoes, and if they still don't get it you can drive your pointy heels into a vulnerable area!
Posted by: Chris Rowan | April 1, 2009 9:38 AM
Haha! So pretty and springlike... perfect for the first day of April, eh?
Posted by: MissPrism | April 1, 2009 9:40 AM
What the fuck is this, Zuska? Have you decided that your own cranky, hairy-legged feminism isn't working so you need to steal my schtick? I am totally un-fucking-amused.
Posted by: Isis the Scientist | April 1, 2009 10:38 AM
I'm so relieved. I always thought maybe there was something wrong with me, that I wasn't "feminine" enough. But this post made me realize- if that's the case, all I need to do is buy more shoes!
Posted by: becca | April 1, 2009 10:42 AM
If you're going to go, go all the way. Bondage AND femme, is what I'm talkin' bout.
Posted by: Scicurious | April 1, 2009 10:49 AM
Whatever, you women can all kiss my ass. Ping.
Posted by: Isis the Scientist | April 1, 2009 10:55 AM
I realize now that these may indeed be the most appropriate for this post. Next year, I shall wear them in your honor.
Posted by: ScienceWoman | April 1, 2009 11:05 AM
Wait a second. Where's the leg hair? I thought you were supposed to be an angry hairy-legged feminist?!
Posted by: Anonymous | April 1, 2009 11:13 AM
How did you engineer your way into those in the first place?! I don't like the first pair - the gave me spots before my eyes, but the second pair are a shoe-in....
Posted by: Ian | April 1, 2009 11:16 AM
Happy April 1st to you too!
Posted by: stickypaws | April 1, 2009 12:42 PM
Those are cute shoes...and I like the kitchy feel, too - kinda sorta goth and punk. Hot!
Posted by: DNLee | April 1, 2009 2:41 PM
Does anybody else think that Zuska and Isis seem to have switched personalities, in some weird sort of crazy, real world manifestation of The Hot Chick?
Posted by: Engr Management | April 1, 2009 2:44 PM
The articulations of my feminine toes hurt just thinking about hunting down the patriarchy in those stacked-wood heels.
Posted by: bioephemera | April 1, 2009 2:48 PM
who are you and what have you done with Z? I shutter to think what's hidden by those pumps? nail polish??!!?!?! PEDICURE!??!!?!
Posted by: jc | April 1, 2009 2:52 PM
Ha Ha Isis can't take a joke. She'd rather hobble around in her crippling heels pleasing men to the bitter end....
Posted by: Goodness&Light | April 1, 2009 4:22 PM
Happy Holiday!
Posted by: alphabitch | April 1, 2009 4:34 PM
Am I the only one who remembers that this is April Fool's Day?
Oh and: "Ha Ha Isis can't take a joke. She'd rather hobble around in her crippling heels pleasing men to the bitter end...."
Fuck you, Goodness & Light.
Posted by: JLK | April 1, 2009 5:14 PM
Those cherry heels are adorable.
Posted by: yolio | April 1, 2009 5:26 PM
Why, JC, you know I did shave my legs before going out shopping, and after buying all those shoes I thought, what the heck, and I DID get a pedicure! How did you know??!?!?
Posted by: Zuska | April 1, 2009 5:38 PM
I'm not feeling up to sorting through the multiple layers of April Fools' jokes involved here, but those really do look horribly uncomfortable. D:
Posted by: Azkyroth | April 1, 2009 5:51 PM
Some people can't distinguish male from female if a man's hair is too long or a woman's hair is too short. Some get genders confused if a woman wears pants or a man wears a kilt. Others if a man wears makeup or a woman doesn't.
With me, it's always been about heel elevation. If a woman's heel is flat on the ground, I just can't figure out what gender she is, no matter what else she's wearing. She can have the largest breasts in the world, a traffic-stopping camel toe, and a pregnant belly, but none of that registers if all her weight isn't thrown onto the ball of her foot.
Posted by: deang | April 1, 2009 8:39 PM
Exactly! And I, for one, am no longer willing to continue sowing the seeds of gender confusion in everyone I greet. Thus the high-heeled makeover. At least for today!
Posted by: Zuska | April 1, 2009 8:56 PM
You people are all stone crazy.
Posted by: Virginia S. Wood, Psy.D. | April 1, 2009 9:56 PM
And a happy April Fools Day to us all
Posted by: Pat | April 1, 2009 10:29 PM
This is funny. *hearts*
Posted by: Samia | April 2, 2009 12:56 PM
hmm. Maybe this is why I increasingly find myself feeling un-female (and yet, still punished before being female at all!). Not being able to wear cute shoes just takes all the fun out of it. =-(
Posted by: msphd | April 3, 2009 10:37 AM