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attackeng.jpg Zuska is the kick-ass alter-ego of Suzanne E Franks. When not dispensing Zuska's wisdom, Suzanne can often be found gardening, reading, or having one of her thrice-weekly migraines.

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Eat Your Soup!

Category: Ludicrous LanguageTales From The Coal Patch
Posted on: January 3, 2010 4:22 PM, by Zuska

I see erv is blogging some trash-talking shit about how she would "bet a large sum of money that [she is] the fittest person on SciBlogs". Bah! Kids and their puny bragging!

I am totes the hairiest-legged feminazi on SciBlogs! AND the most out of shape! And furthermore, if you mess with me, I will absolutely make you sit your ass down and eat with me some of the sour soup (sauerkraut, water, mushrooms, barley) my mom used to make us eat every year on Christmas Eve, and count your blessings and be grateful. And then I will puke that crap up on your shoes.

Not hungry? You'll eat what your mother puts on the table, and you'll like it, or I'll know the reason why. And I'm telling you right now, there's no good reason.

Yeah. Dead-lifting? Not impressed. You eat that sour soup and live to talk about it. Then we'll see who's fit.

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Comments

1

That motherfucking soup is the nastiest shit I've ever heard of. I'd rather make tea out of my own ballsack and then distill it down to a consomme and simmer squirrel shit in it and eat that.

Posted by: Comrade PhysioProf | January 3, 2010 11:10 PM

2

my relatives ate that horrible soup for holidays. it stinks up the house something fierce.

Posted by: jc | January 4, 2010 12:20 AM

3

I wish I had some sauerkraut, because that soup sounds awesome.

Posted by: llewelly | January 4, 2010 5:41 AM

4

One of these days we'll have to compare leg hair and out-of-shapeness ;-) - I can haul a 50lb sack of feed on each shoulder, but let's just say that I can be easily outrun. My great-grandmother used to make a variation on that soup, but it had carrots and beets in it, and it was delicious.

Sharon

Posted by: Sharon Astyk | January 4, 2010 8:20 AM

5

As one of Polish descent (and that of other Eastern European countries that have different borders than when my people came over), I have a better challenge for ERV: eat the soup and then go for a workout or run a 5K.

That'll teach her to spout off.

Posted by: Abel Pharmboy | January 4, 2010 10:01 AM

6

Hah! I'll see your sour soup, and raise you lutefisk.

Which, for the record, tastes like what happens after someone pukes up a cod supper after a night of hard drinking, washes it off in strong soap, then re-serves it for lunch.

....and which is damn close to how it's made, too.

But since I'm not really on SciBlogs except as a commenter, you are probably safe in this competition. ;)

Posted by: Luna_the_cat | January 4, 2010 3:46 PM

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