While not an official contributer to 'Of Two Minds,' Shelley's sidekick is an African Grey parrot named Pepper. His heros are Irene Pepperberg, Alex, and Rachel Carson. He spends his time learning Mandarin and writing the Great American novel.
Ben and Jerry's to use human milk
Category: Weird
Posted on: September 23, 2008 10:48 PM, by Steve Higgins
well... if PETA had their way they would.
WATERBURY, Vt. -- People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals sent a letter to Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield, cofounders of Ben & Jerry's Homemade Inc., urging them to replace cow's milk they use in their ice cream products with human breast milk, according to a statement recently released by a PETA spokeswoman."PETA's request comes in the wake of news reports that a Swiss restaurant owner will begin purchasing breast milk from nursing mothers and substituting breast milk for 75 percent of the cow's milk in the food he serves," the statement says.
PETA officials say a move to human breast milk would lessen the suffering of dairy cows and their babies on factory farms and benefit human health.
Hmm.. I'm feeling a great business plan coming on here that shouldn't cause any problems whatsoever... I'm going to be impregnating women and then artificially keep them lactating all the while confining them to cages in order to harvest their breast milk. If that doesn't work I guess I can just open up a milking center at the mall so that I can get new mothers to stop by for a few minutes while I milk them. I could even offer them.. well lets see I could probably extract less than a gallon at a time...so at current rates - maybe offer them 10 cents for their time? I'll bet I could get at least enough milk from 100 malls to maybe provide enough ice cream for 1 mall.
Does anyone want to invest in my idea? All I need... a few trucks, a few refrigerators, and a whole shit load of breast pumps.
Environment
Politics
Comments
dude....
Posted by: razib | September 23, 2008 11:26 PM
Dear PeTA:
Suck it.
Posted by: T. Bruce McNeely | September 23, 2008 11:47 PM
could they be any more of a parody of themselves?
Posted by: PalMD | September 24, 2008 6:56 AM
Back in the '70s, science fiction writer Piers Anthony wrote a chilling story about human milk production on a commercial scale; titled "In the Barn", it has been in some anthologies --- I think, one of Harlan Ellisons Dangerous Visions collections.
Posted by: stillwaggon | September 24, 2008 9:55 AM
Going by PETA's logic, this would then increase the suffering on human women being milked. These people are insane.
Posted by: SonnyJ | September 24, 2008 12:21 PM
These people are like marketing employees, they come up with an idea, but don't follow through. I guess following through would work, but who does that anymore? I'm sure PETA is chompin at the bit to supply people to give breast milk.
Posted by: zee | September 24, 2008 12:33 PM
Reminds me of an installment of Steve, don't eat it!, where he samples human milk. It's pretty hilarious, though slightly NSFW.
Posted by: Matt Springer | September 24, 2008 12:34 PM
Your article title "Ben and Jerry's to use human milk"is completely wrong. PETA is requesting that Ben & Jerry's use human breast milk. Ben & Jerry's has declined.
Posted by: Some User | September 24, 2008 1:26 PM
That reminds me of a SF short story I once read (in one of these Heyne "Sciene Fiction Story Reader"). The kicker there was that people in an alternate universe without cows were using people they dumbed-down at birth as milk machines. If I could only remember the title and/or author...
Posted by: AnonCoward23 | September 24, 2008 1:36 PM
What color is the sky...on the planet where the PETA people live?
Posted by: muggs | September 24, 2008 1:51 PM
I can see a whole new direction for Ben and Jerry's coming from this. Use celebrity breast milk for special flavors and sell them at a premium. Want some Britney Butter Crunch? Jolie Jamocha? How about Lindsay Lohan Limealicious?
Even better, local stores can offer custom ice cream for families. Have a back room full of breast pumps. Mom can come in and fill a few jars, kids can pick the mixins, and come back a day later and you have your very own custom ice cream with a formula made especially for you.
Man, sometimes PETA does have a good idea!! Let's meet over steaks and talk it out.
Posted by: Scooter | September 24, 2008 2:32 PM
I am a member of PETA, and they don't actually want people to start drinking human milk. They are being sarcastic. Most people don't realize that cows milk, is literally the breast milk of a cow, made to feed it's baby. When babies are born on most commercial dairy farms, they are taken away immediately, and the mom is put on a machine. They are kept pregnant, their entire lives, until they are killed. A lot of animal advocates beleive that if people thought of milk as cow breast milk, they wouldn't want to drink it. Seriously, no matter what side you are on, is it not kind of ironic that we think drinking human breast milk is disgusting, but drinking the breast milk of a cow is not?
Posted by: Lora | September 24, 2008 3:53 PM
Disappointing to see that you chose to use a lie as the title. Nowhere has Ben and Jerry's said they were going to use human milk at PETA's insistence. In fact, Ben and Jerry's spokesperson responded and it is in the very same article: "We applaud PETA's novel approach to bringing attention to an issue, but we believe a mother's milk is best used for her child." I have a sense of humor and can see that one *might* find the current title to be humorous, but I would hope that a Ph.D candidate would know better than to state something that "the data" do not support. Although I am a PhD and not a JD, I would be concerned that their parent company might come knocking on the door....
Posted by: AA | September 24, 2008 6:10 PM
I just ordered my double-pump on eBay. Once I'm done wif my surrogate-motherin' I'll have GALLONS to spare.
Posted by: Tits McGee | September 25, 2008 1:47 AM
...
"I'm going to be impregnating women and then ... "
So ...are you going with the classic 'hands on' approach or some kind of artificial insemination program or..??
The mind boggles...
...tom...
.
Posted by: ...tom... | September 25, 2008 9:16 AM
"Most people don't realize that cows milk, is literally the breast milk of a cow, made to feed it's baby"
Really?! I don't believe that for one damn second.
And the comments about the title being misleading... yeah- I know. I did that on purpose. It's parody. gah!
No wonder these people support PETA - they are idiots.
Posted by: Steve Higgins | September 25, 2008 1:54 PM
"So ...are you going with the classic 'hands on' approach or some kind of artificial insemination program or..??"
Oh Jeez,
I can't imagine either one. That's a lot of work!
Damn. My plan is doomed to failure!
Posted by: Steve Higgins | September 25, 2008 1:57 PM
Ewww!!! I'll switch to Hagen Daz
Posted by: ella | September 25, 2008 2:38 PM
You PETA people seriously need to GET A LIFE.
Posted by: Rachel | September 25, 2008 5:10 PM
"Milkshake,boom-boom,Milkshake,boom-boom, it's a candy bar!
Yeah,ah...oh. Sorry, wrong blog.m-
Posted by: GoatBarn | September 25, 2008 9:05 PM
My milkshake brings the boys to the yard...etc.
What's lost so far in this discussion is that human milk tastes like crap.
Posted by: CP | September 26, 2008 9:25 AM
Always remember that while PETA cares about animals, they make great exceptions - Human animals being one they consider lesser creatures and thus worthy only of disdain, not consideration. Once upon a time, a long time ago, I thought I believed in PETA and their principles. I even "joined" so I could get their newsletters and such. Over time though they became far too anti human animal for my taste. I think the final straw, when I lost all respect for PETA, was when they attacked a small colony of monks, (human monks), who farmed and sold eggs and fruitcakes in semi-rural South Carolina. Through their extreme harrassment of these (mostly elderly) men, they managed to get them to shut down their entire operation thus depriving them of income and livlihood while taking away from the populus some of the best eggs found anywhere. They didn't put the fear of God into these men, they put the fear of PETA into them. Once I heard of that escapade, I kept a closer track on PETAs doings. They had such potential for good but they so need to stop discriminating against human animals.
Posted by: Meowzzz | September 28, 2008 4:35 AM