I often write about “cult medicine”, that is, medical practices that share many characteristics of cults: they are based on faith, they follow charismatic leaders, they separate people from their money—you know, like The Church of Scientology. The COS has everything going for it—a religious arm, a health care arm (the Citizens Commission on Human Rights), and an educational arm. In fact, the more I learn about these wackos, the scarier (and funnier) they seem. You see, it turns out that these folks have a lot of front organizations. Unlike more traditional religions, that are happy to proclaim their identity to all, the volcanosploders seem to think people might be a bit put off by their particular brand of
wackaloonery faith. It’s amazing how successful they’ve been at infiltrating secular organizations under the guise of “public service”.
Take public education, for example. There’s something called The Concerned Businessman’s Association of America which, using various sub-fronts, has infiltrated public schools (that’s “state schools” to you Brits) under the guise of “moral education” and drug use prevention. Through the SAGE campaign they claim to have forced over 12 million school children to read a piece of their liturgy, “The Way to Happiness”, by L. Ron Hubbard. Now, The Way seems pretty harmless, with nice things like “do not murder”, but the fact is that it is a religious text and has no place in public schools.
And if you’re thinking, “hey, these precepts don’t sound so bad. I don’t care who wrote them,” remember one thing: these are the same folks who think your soul came from a dying intergalactic empire and was banished to Earth via DC-8, dumped in a volcano, exploded with nukes, and wandered to Earth to inhabit other bodies. Or something like that.
You see, with the DC-8-Wranglers, nothing is too absurd. There is no Poe’s Law for Scientology, but there should be. It would go something like this:
“It is impossible to describe, discover, or invent a religious practice more absurd than one already claimed by Scientology without getting locked up in the psych ward.”
Hmmm…could that be why they hate psychiatrists so damned much?