White Coat Underground

I’ve decided I love Jenny McCarthy’s Oprah-blog. It’s like watching a mad scientist—you know he’s gonna blow something up, but still, those Tesla coils have a beautiful inutility. Her latest piece is truly a monument to stupidity, and if she really keeps this up, I’ll never run out of blog-fodder.

It’s called “Poop Stories“, and it’s about, well, Jenny’s poop, so pull on those hip-waders and let’s go take a look.

I don’t know why I’ve always loved talking about poop, but to me it is a great tool in detecting what’s wrong in our bodies.

Heh heh. She said “tool”.

I continuously monitor Evan’s poop by sending it to labs to get tested to make sure things are all running smoothly (no yeast, no bacteria, no infections).

That poor child. He can’t even go to the can in peace. I send patient’s stool to the lab from time to time. The lab loves me for that. I’m not sure how looking at it shows if things are “running smoothly”, and I’m pretty sure that everyone’s poop is chock full of yeast and bacteria. As far as infections, well, if someone has an infection–of the, what, colon?–then it’s not too hard to find common pathogens like giardia, Salmonella, etc. Most cases of gastroenteritis are viral and we rarely recover the pathogen.

Sometimes these things can exist without any physical manifestations, so I like to test for them to make sure he is in perfect health.

I never knew Jenny was a Zen sensei. What does it mean for something to “exist without any physical manifestations?” Great. Now I can’t stop thinking of a monkey.

I decided to take the test myself and see how my body was doing, considering I come from a history of lifelong constipation (I’m talking once every 14 days before a movement).

Lovely. I’m sure the stool sample will explain that.

Low and behold, my tests came back and I’m a mess!

Yes, but I don’t think you needed to send poo in the mail to find that out.

I have two gnarly gut bugs, and I have extremely high amounts of yeast in my gut.

I’m not sure what that means. Poop is naturally full of micro-organisms, and the alternative medicine gurus frequently tell us not to screw around with all those yummy, beneficial bacteria. Both the alties and real doctors agree that you shouldn’t just pop antimicrobial meds like amphetamines jelly beans, but that won’t stop you. Jenny will not be deterred!

So, I started myself on an antifungal, and my poops have been phenomenal! Yeast, yeast, yeast, all coming out!

First, ewww. Second…no, there is no second. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot on the yeast pouring out, though.

I personally think the majority of women have an overload of this stuff, especially if you have ever been on an antibiotic and then didn’t follow it with a probiotic. Also, the more yeast that comes out, the more my acne seems to be getting better.

Thank you for sharing your personal views, no matter how non-sensiscal.

When Evan was killing candida (back in the day), he was irritable and cranky.

I really cannot imagine why.

Now that I think about it, that is probably why I have been irritable and cranky too (besides PMS).

You mean because the rest of your body is desperately trying to escape from your brain and find a new home that doesn’t require pooping for the postman?

This is also another reason I’m craving sugar and going through withdrawal. If anyone wants to learn more about yeast, please order a book called The Yeast Syndrome. Truly amazing and could change your life. Especially those who have sugar addictions. Until then, enjoy your poops!

Ah, the pitch. You just knew there had to be a point to this, and money makes much more sense than yeast.

Oprah, why did you hire Jenny? Was losing Dr. Oz that hard on you?

Comments

  1. #1 Wes
    May 14, 2009

    You mean because the rest of your body is desperately trying to escape from your brain and find a new home that doesn’t require pooping for the postman?

    :D

    That cracked me up.

  2. #2 Jon H
    May 14, 2009

    I can’t wait for her TV show!

  3. #3 Mu
    May 14, 2009

    I wonder whether whenever she sends poo to the lab, they dump it unopened in the biowaste and start playing the “what do we make Jenny give up this week” game. In a couple months they probably have her on the mineral oil and baking soda diet.

  4. #4 Danimal
    May 14, 2009

    You might want to post the Jenny McCarthy video Orac has on his site on your site. Check it out.

  5. #5 Glendon Mellow
    May 14, 2009

    Okay, I don’t pretend to know what I’m talking about in this area, but is she merely following antibiotics with probiotics to ncounter the negative of “anti” with positive vibes (or whatever) from “pro”?

    Great style in this post, man.

  6. #6 Cuttlefish
    May 14, 2009

    Busily, dizzily,
    Jenny the vacciphobe
    Pure, quintessentially
    Vacuous twit,

    Speaking her mind (which is
    Counter-intuitive),
    Proves beyond question, her
    Head’s full of shit.

  7. #7 llewelly
    May 14, 2009

    What is it with the woos and their poos?
    It’s as if altie excrement requires a focus on, er, excrement.

  8. #8 squidbilly
    May 15, 2009

    How is it possible for a non-fasting person to go 14 days without a bowel movement? Wouldn’t the resulting log be like 15 pounds?

  9. #9 Jennifer B. Phillips (aka Danio)
    May 15, 2009

    So what you’re saying is, it’s really only a matter of time before a sample of Jenny’s poo turns up on E-Bay.

  10. #10 Bob O'H
    May 15, 2009

    So, I started myself on an antifungal, and my poops have been phenomenal! Yeast, yeast, yeast, all coming out!

    Sounds like she’s been fermenting crap beer in there.

  11. #11 Pareidolius
    May 15, 2009

    Low and behold, my tests came back and I’m a mess! I have two gnarly gut bugs, and I have extremely high amounts of yeast in my gut. So, I started myself on an antifungal, and my poops have been phenomenal! Yeast, yeast, yeast, all coming out! I personally think the majority of women have an overload of this stuff, especially if you have ever been on an antibiotic and then didn’t follow it with a probiotic. Also, the more yeast that comes out, the more my acne seems to be getting better. When Evan was killing candida (back in the day), he was irritable and cranky. Now that I think about it, that is probably why I have been irritable and cranky too (besides PMS). This is also another reason I’m craving sugar and going through withdrawal. If anyone wants to learn more about yeast, please order a book called The Yeast Syndrome. Truly amazing and could change your life. Especially those who have sugar addictions. Until then, enjoy your poops!

    “Low” and behold, she stopped eating buttloads of sugar and she felt better. Shocking. Maybe ear candling could get the rest of that yeast out.

  12. #12 MPG
    May 15, 2009

    Wouldn’t the resulting log be like 15 pounds?

    That’s about 6 Courics!

  13. #13 Dunc
    May 15, 2009

    Oh great, like the world needs another Gillian McKeith.

  14. #14 Ian
    May 15, 2009

    Jenny McCarthy doesn’t know shit….

  15. #15 Ramel
    May 15, 2009

    Wow, just wow… All that yeast may be out, but the dim one is still full of shit

  16. #16 JohnV
    May 15, 2009

    “I continuously monitor Evan’s poop by sending it to labs to get tested to make sure things are all running smoothly (no yeast, no bacteria, no infections).”

    Umm is a lab actually telling her that her son’s poop has no bacteria?

  17. #17 Dianne
    May 15, 2009

    Most cases of gastroenteritis are viral and we rarely recover the pathogen.

    I suppose, if you really wanted to, you could PCR the stool for viral pathogens. Then the lab would REALLY love you.

    But if I understand correctly, McCarthy isn’t sending her and her son’s stool off to be checked for pathogens when they feel sick but simply sending random stool looking for…I don’t know what exactly.

  18. #18 Dianne
    May 15, 2009

    Umm is a lab actually telling her that her son’s poop has no bacteria?

    Interesting question. People who genuinely lack gut flora (i.e. transplant or ICU patients who have received a lot of antibiotics over a long period of time) tend to have bowels that are not “running smoothly”. On the contrary, they usually have diarrhea pretty badly. The treatment is…bacteria. Yogurt or lactobacillus tablets. Downright naturopathic in fact. But it works so it was adopted by mainstream medicine.

  19. #19 nostrum
    May 15, 2009

    Poop. It’s like reading tea leaves, only much less pleasant.

  20. #20 Enkidu
    May 15, 2009

    JohnV: “Umm is a lab actually telling her that her son’s poop has no bacteria?”

    That’s what I was wondering. If a lab told me that I would be worried about my system.

  21. #21 Dianne
    May 15, 2009

    On reflection, the unfortunate lab McCarthy keeps sending stool samples to probably send back reports saying something like, “no pathologic bacteria identified” and she interprets that as “no bacteria”, not having any clue about normal flora.

  22. #22 catgirl
    May 15, 2009

    If she’s that constipated, it’s probably because she’s not eating enough food, and especially fiber. Her diet is probably pretty restricted to maintain a her weight, and then she has a dozen other restrictions on top of that. If nothing goes in, nothing will come out. I would recommend a bowl of shredded wheat for that kind of problem, but she won’t eat that.

  23. #23 BB
    May 15, 2009

    The entertainment value alone is almost worth it.
    Man, how can any sane person listen to her? She really is full of sh!t.

  24. #24 Stan
    May 15, 2009

    As an internist I’m surprised that you don’t know about Clostridia, Candida and other infections that can be in the GI tract and can be discovered through comprehensive stool analysis. All the more reason Jenny needs to let families know.

  25. #25 Bill H
    May 15, 2009

    Trust me Stan, Pal knows about clostridia and candida. The thing is, these microbes are part of the normal flora found in the gut. It would be unusual if a stool sample didn’t show these bugs.

  26. #26 Mu
    May 15, 2009

    As an internist, you should make your med school give you your money back.

  27. #27 JLK
    May 15, 2009

    Ya know, if someone sent ME poop in the mail, I’d be really offended.

  28. #28 Dr Aust
    May 15, 2009

    I was wondering if Jenny Airhead gets her info on the usefulness of stool samples from the Scrubs Poo Song

    …though on reflection that probably contains too much sense.

  29. #29 Dr. Steve
    May 15, 2009

    24
    As an internist I’m surprised that you don’t know about Clostridia, Candida and other infections that can be in the GI tract and can be discovered through comprehensive stool analysis. All the more reason Jenny needs to let families know.

    Posted by: Stan | May 15, 2009 11:17 AM
    ===========
    And as some dude that posts on blogs I’m totally unsurprised you don’t know the difference between colonization and infection.

  30. #30 catgirl
    May 15, 2009

    If I ever need to see an internist, I’ll make sure to ask what they think about McCarthy’s advice that poop should have no bacteria. If they think it’s good advice, I’ll find a better internist.

  31. #31 Joe
    May 15, 2009

    Stan | May 15, 2009 11:17 AM,

    Stan-the-Man. I didn’t know chiropractors specialized in internal medicine. You say you’re not a chiro … wow.

  32. #32 Michael Simpson
    May 15, 2009

    I decided to take the test myself and see how my body was doing, considering I come from a history of lifelong constipation (I’m talking once every 14 days before a movement).

    My first thought: eating disorder.

  33. #33 Isabel
    May 15, 2009

    “And as some dude that posts on blogs I’m totally unsurprised you don’t know the difference between colonization and infection.”

    1. How is yeast infection diagnosed?

    2. Couldn’t the relative amount of a particular microbe in the stool sample tell us something?

    I’ve been following this discussion for awhile, PalMD, and while I agree that JM sounds like a nut, and while I feel sorry for her kid for being stuck with her as a mother, it’s hard for me to see her as the evil force she is being portrayed as. For starters, through no fault of her own, she’s obviously not particularly bright, which makes it hard to take her seriously, in either a positive or negative way. She seems like countless other neurotic women who are desperate for help with her child’s disorder, listening to charlatans and becoming a believer who wants to then spread the word. Shouldn’t protests be focused on the dispassionate business people who are backing her up, who profit from stirring up controversy and who don’t have autistic children? And the doctors and labs who go along with the poop analyzing, etc, preying on parents fears? I mean, who is giving the lab the orders? This must be an arrangement through her doctor, no?

    I have heard some complaints directed at Oprah, but they are much more polite, it seems, and I have only heard (please correct me if I’m wrong on this) JM specifically blamed for kids deaths and other horrible things…she seems more like a sad, almost pathetic pawn to me.

  34. #34 PalMD
    May 15, 2009

    1. How is yeast infection diagnosed?

    That depends on what is meant by “yeast infection”. There are many different kinds of mycoses (human fungal infections), for example “ringworm”, jock itch, vaginal yeast infections, cryptococcal meningitis, coccidiomycosis, etc, etc. Each illness has its own features.

    2. Couldn’t the relative amount of a particular microbe in the stool sample tell us something?

    We can use selective media and genetic probes to look for specific stool pathogens, and combine these results with clinical information. For example, C. dificile lives in the colon as a commensal, but under the right conditions, a pathogenic version that produces a nasty toxin can predominate. This toxin is detectable in the liquid stools of those who are ill with it.

    As to the rest, Jenny is a very public figure promoting very dangerous behaviors, and despite her “dimness” is responsible for her actions. I certainly hold Oprah, JB Handley, AoA, David Kirby, RFK Jr, and the rest of these infectious disease promoters responsible, and I write about them just as harshly.

  35. #35 Jennifer B. Phillips (aka Danio)
    May 15, 2009

    Isabel:
    The people who support, inform, and enable Jenny are no less culpable, as PAL says, and should certainly not be spared our criticism. Oprah is regularly excoriated on this and other blogs, in ways that I would not dream of describing as ‘polite’. No sacred cows here. However, here’s a list of “Jenny on Autism” videos. These are her words–her public statements. I agree with you that she does indeed give the impression of someone rather short on smarts, but she’s gone way beyond ‘pawn’ with this.

  36. #36 Isabel
    May 15, 2009

    PalMD,

    Thanks.

    I meant to clarify my comment immediately after posting it, but an update frustratingly hijacked my computer for over an hour. I was ONLY referring to media executives in my comment, especially Oprah.

    Like all these conversations, one would have to spend all one’s time on-line in order to keep up with everyone’s position on everything. I think Oprah is more culpable in this case. Has that really been reflected in the criticism? I guess in the random way I have read your blog I keep hitting the anti-Jenny posts. I’ll try to be a more loyal reader. :)

    All I’m saying is I’ve worked in the schools and with special needs kids, including autistic kids, and I’ve met Mom’s like this before. She’s just higher profile. And part of what makes her pathetic is that she has two excuses, having a kid she’s panicked about and being stupid, which the execs do not share. Which makes their complicity more cold-blooded, if not evil.

    I’ll check out the posts about Oprah. If JM’s posting on her own on youtube, I guess that’s a different story. Maybe counter videos, not mocking (or even mentioning) her, just explaining the scientific research?

    As far as the yeast infection, I was referring to what I had assumed JM was, Candida overgrowth, which is promoted by alternative folks as the cause of many modern illnesses, and supposedly caused by sugar overconsumption. I remember reading, years ago, that it was difficult to diagnose (perhaps conveniently).

  37. #37 PalMD
    May 15, 2009

    Those of us who write about this stuff repeatedly emphasize that parents who are fed this stuff are not primarily culpable, and that they are victims of high profile people like jenny. but being a mom does not insulate her from her responsiblity as a public figure.

  38. #38 kathleen
    May 15, 2009

    Jenny McCarthy is making a whole lot of money off of this. She has her books, her talk show appearances..and now a deal with Oprah. The woman is being paid to blog about poop.
    Something is wrong with this picture…

  39. #39 Isabel
    May 15, 2009

    “that parents who are fed this stuff are not primarily culpable”

    but if they are high-profile and so can therefore easily become spokespeople, they become the perpetrators? I’m just not buying it.

  40. #40 red rabbit
    May 18, 2009

    “Teh Stoopid, it SMELLS!”

    Once every 14 days? She is wound tight. Even gut lining sloughing should give you a bm more then once a week.

    So, I’m thinking she’s:
    a. lying.
    or,
    b. eats only deep-fried Mars bars and McDo’s fries.

    She must poop bullets….

  41. #41 ABradford
    May 18, 2009

    “Once every 14 days? She is wound tight. Even gut lining sloughing should give you a bm more then once a week.”

    Yeah, that’s why I took it the first time reading that this was more like she had frequent constipation, once every 14 days, not for 14 days straight. A bowel movement relieved this, naturally. Still, awkward wording.

  42. #42 Xerxes1729
    May 18, 2009

    but if they are high-profile and so can therefore easily become spokespeople, they become the perpetrators? I’m just not buying it.

    Did you ever read Spiderman? With great power comes great responsibility. If you’re famous enough that you are given a national media bullhorn through which to shout your beliefs and tell people how to care for their own and their children’s health, you have a responsibility to make sure that what you’re saying is accurate. If Ms McCarthy kept her crazy ideas to herself or just talked to her friends about them over coffee, that would be one thing. But when she can go on the most widely viewed television programs whenever she wants and be treated like an expert, the situation is very different.

  43. #43 Matthew
    May 19, 2009

    PalMD – How is Jenny’s recommendation that people read ANOTHER AUTHOR’S book a sales pitch? If you’re going to accuse someone else of not making any sense you should start by making sense yourself.

    It seems that nobody here has been paying much attention to what has been going on in the world of gastroenterology and microbiology in the past decade or so. I’d advise you all to pay a visit to PubMed and do a literature search on the importance of gut microflora composition to overall health before you completely dismiss everything Miss McCarthy is saying. She might not be the sharpest tool in the box or the best communicator but her underlying observations and conclusions are not too far from the current thinking of an ever increasing number of researchers and clinicians.

  44. #44 PalMD
    May 19, 2009

    She might not be the sharpest tool in the box…

    Shed…sharpest tool in the shed

  45. #45 Lucario
    June 24, 2009

    You know, Jenny, for the price of one of those dodgy stool samples, you could get yurself a load (pun intended) of Benefiber and Activia. That oughta take care of your irregularity, naturally.

  46. #46 Roz
    October 6, 2009

    Yeast is a huge topic for me because my allergist found that it is the underlying cause of red flares I get around my eyes. It happens if I take antibiotics. Yeast runs amok in my system. You are showing, not Jenny’s ignorance, but your own. Maybe you need to do something constructive rather than spending your time mocking someone who has done her homework. You should do your homework, and maybe you will learn about intestinal flora, and intestinal flora run amok. Antibiotics are devastating on the system.

  47. #47 Chris
    October 6, 2009

    Um, it is a different kind of “yeast”, perhaps. And I don’t see how an problem with your eye translates into a whole host of health problems in McCarthy’s claims.

    Now why, Roz, did you decide to educate us on a five month old blog posting?

  48. #48 Raoul Fazool
    May 13, 2010

    Let’s face it gentlemen, Jenny McCarthy’s intellectualism peaked when she showed her pussy in Playboy. It has been downhill (short drop) since then.