Although there were some intra-family disputes about what belongs where, we did derive a basic candy hierachy, and I do think it is basically sound. This taxonomy is based on years of research and debate, on thorough testing and re-testing, on statistical comparison and quality measurement, on focus group testing, and on a series of FTIR scans that reveal various hydrocarbon peaks and whatnot.
In other words, this is sound science.
Here’s what we’ve found, with uncertainties acknowledged:
(not suprisingly, exclusively chocolate-based)
Junior Mints — regular old Hershey Bars* — Twix
(also exclusively chocolate, after fending off a few intruders)
(also referred to as the chewy range or, in some circles, the Upper Chewy or Upper Devonian)
(the Lower Chewy and Gummy-Based, also the Middle Crunchy Tart Layer)
*These indicate the intra-family disputes. For example, I would keep Kit-Kat where it is, while other unnamend members of the family demand that it be given Top Tier Classification. That same other unnamed member of the family would not put Tootsie Rolls as a top-tier get, though I would’ve. Shockingly, there was no unanimous decision on the placement of Candy Corn, which as of 2006 remains to be classified.
[NB: This got put in the Sb “Academia” Category because it’s cutting edge academic research.]