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This is a link to a Short Imagined Monologue over at McSweeneys. Full title:
"Professor Richard Dawkins Speaks at Fair Hills Kindergarten Regarding Santa Claus, December 2, 2006."
By Mike Jones
Here's the teaser (so PZ doesn't have to go all the way to the link):
From an early point in your infancy, you people have been done a great injustice. Santa Claus, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas--the names may differ from country to country, but the idea always remains a constant. No doubt you've drawn pictures of him, watched films depicting him, sung songs about him. A benevolent jolly fellow whose sole purpose is to monitor your behavior year-round by inexplicable means only to separate children into two drastically oversimplified groups: naughty or nice. With the aid of elfin employees and flying reindeer, this Good Samaritan delivers gifts to all the nice children of the world in a single evening. You'll know him by his long white beard and belly that jiggles like a bowl full of jelly, they say. On the contrary, you'll know him as nonsense, because that's precisely what he is.
Enjoy.
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