Trying to find your way around this place? Like most expositions, we offer a map: 
Why would Der Kommissar's presence in town ("oh, oh") require one not to turn around? This has puzzled me for nigh on two+ decades now. Even if we cared that he was in town -- fearful, I assume -- then what does not turning around do for anybody? They say "if he talks to you then you'll know why." But that's just stupid.
I find it hard to imagine a scenario where my turning around would in anyway be dictated by the presence of Der Kommissar. It wouldn't happen. There's no reason for the edict. Let's be done with already then?
We appreciate your attention to this.
Comments
Um, maybe he just doesn't like it when people turn around? Some people get angry when you mix different cloths; some get angry when you eat pork; others get angry at you for having same-sex relations; this guy gets angry when you turn around. It's just one of those inscrutable things.
Posted by: brtkrbzhnv | January 20, 2007 11:22 PM
He's got the power, and you're so weak, your frustration will not let you sleep.
Posted by: Maltodextrin | January 21, 2007 12:07 AM
I guess the text refers to an old German/Austrian game in which children build a circle with their faces to the middle. Inside they hand a ball or something similar from one to the other, while one child has to run around the circle and try to catch the ball. During the game the children sing:
The phrase "der Kommissar geht um" in Falco's original German lyrics is somhow strange because to my best knowledge "umgehen" in the sense Falco used it is normally not used with persons. Actually, the only phrase I know which is used frequently is "Angst geht um" (fear goes arround). In addition it is used for things like infectious diseases (e.g. influenza: Die Grippe geht um)Taken into consideration all the illegeal drugs Falco used the lyrics make some sense though.
Posted by: sparc | January 21, 2007 12:54 AM
"Why would Der Kommissar's presence in town ("oh, oh") require one not to turn around?" This is a wild shot in the dark, but have you ever heard of the show 'Der Kommissar'? It ran from '69 to '76 originally, and the lyrics might make a little sense if they were influenced by the show. From the perspective of drug users to detective, anyway.
Wild shot in the dark, though.
http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/Der+Kommissar
Posted by: Jay | January 21, 2007 6:09 AM
Other than a rhyming lyric, I always went with the idea that if you turned around, you might either see the KGB agent following you (using Kommisar as a Russian official) or else it would indicate to said agent that maybe you were hiding something by acting suspiciously, and thus would be picked up or "disappeared" to Siberia. Or something like that. Pretty basic Cold-War type stuff, but I'd never heard any real explanation (come on, how much makes sense in most music?).
Posted by: Badger3k | January 21, 2007 6:00 PM
It seems to me that Der Kommissar is obviously a metaphor for cocaine. "Don't turn around" is simply saying walk away or else. The song goes on to talk about "sugar is sweet", "the faster you live the faster you will die", "special places that she goes on the subway", "Jill and Joe and all my funky friends", "how her nose has told the story", and how the were all "slipping on the same snow".
Posted by: z_rocketman | January 25, 2007 9:18 PM