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profile.gif David Ng is Director of the Advanced Molecular Biology Laboratory at the University of British Columbia - this is a just a fancier way of calling himself a science teacher.

profile.gifBenjamin Cohen is an Asst. Professor of Science, Tech., and Society at the University of Virginia. He studies the place of S & T in environmental history, policy, and ethics. He also writes other stuff.

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« The Consequences of Corn | Main | An urban experiment: Does beauty and talent out of context, mean less beauty and talent? »

SCIENCE SPRING SHOWDOWN: Acids vs. d-orbitals: Destruction, mayhem and beauty.

Category: Humor stuff, and in the best of worlds, science humor stuff
Posted on: April 6, 2007 9:47 PM, by David Ng

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Welcome folks, to this here what we'll call the beautiful game (at least we'll say that for the molecular level). This game really had it all, it was dynamic, it had equilibrium, it had fluid transition, and it was catalytic. It involved freakishly large chemical sounding words, and also a wierd scoreboard that looked something like this:
scoreboard.jpg



But hey, whatever, right?

The game started off slowly enough, with Team Acid moving the ball well. Their game plan was fairly straight forward, and with a play by play that looked a little bit like this:

ka.gif

But then the d-orbitals stepped it up in strides. Moving with both precision and with uncanny diffuse footwork that was seemingly hard to defend. Full of spark and basically responsible for a lot of the colour of the game, their floor plan followed a few extravagant patterns. Such as:

this,

dxy1.jpg

this,

dyz2.jpg

this,

dxz3.jpg

and every now and then, even this:

dx2y24.jpg

But the coaching staff for the Acids were a smart bunch, and soon realized that the d-orbital gameplans were essentially all similar. That for all of their flash, (as well as support from the well resourced transition metals), they were (as the coach was heard to say), "just moving about in the same f**king four way formation - any sh*thead should be able to mess that up!"

So, newly motivated, they countered with:

ka2.gif

and on ocassion this,

ka3.gif

So for a while, it looked like Acids had it in the bag. That they would advanced to the final eight. That it was all over for Team d-orbitals, who would then have to delocalize and do other things that incorporated some kind of sad chemistry pun.

But then, in the last ten minutes, something happened. Something beautiful, something different, but not something entirely unexpected - because let's face it, it's easy enough to google this sort of thing these days.

And so, here's how it happened. This, my friends, is what the game will be remembered for:








dx25.jpg




Where really all we can say is, SWEET JESUS!

And then it was basically all over - Acids were all but destroyed from that point on. And this, here, is the final result - d-orbitals takes the game. In style some would say, and by a score of 98 to 86.

* * *

Later that evening, I caught up to the Acids, with some questions. But they had no answers, just a few sorrow shrugs and some parting words.

kneut.gif

Comments

Dorka dork dork! I love it!

I haven't seen this stuff since college, and your commentary almost made me miss it. (Almost.) Strong work.

Posted by: Signout | April 7, 2007 4:21 AM

Awesome! Made me look up orbitals even more. I hope the f-orbitals can make an appearance one of these days.

Posted by: jenjen | April 8, 2007 4:14 PM

I love it. What a nice game! Ha, ha, ha!

Posted by: Anne151515 | April 9, 2007 8:20 PM

For jenjen, If f-orbitals can make an appearance...that would be a blast! Team Acid is out!

Posted by: Anne151515 | April 9, 2007 8:23 PM

The f-orbitals lost the first round to the d-orbitals.
If I remember rightly their formations were too complicated to be effective, and the d-orbitals consistent play won the day

Posted by: Andr | July 17, 2007 11:09 AM

That's right, baby! We're angular quantum number 3! We're angular quantum number 3! That's right! Stand in awe at the glory of 3cos^2(theta) minus 1! Conical nodal surfaces *rule*, bitches!

Posted by: Stephen McNeil | December 5, 2007 12:52 AM

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