The World's Fair

This is maybe the only Halloween piece I've ever written. And since it is about two years old, the leaders have changed, although I suspect the bickering would be pretty much the same.

Anyway, here it is reprinted for all to see (originally presented at Terry).

TONY BLAIR (PRIME MINISTER OF THE UNITED KINGDOM OF GREAT BRITAIN AND NORTHERN ISLAND) DRESSED AS BJORK DRESSED AS A SWAN: Hey Jacque. Nice dye job. Is that some yellow fungus growing off the top of your forehead?

JACQUE CHIRAC (PRESIDENT OF THE FRENCH REPUBLIC) DRESSED AS TIN-TIN: No Tony, it's my costume. Can't you guess who I am? I'll give you a hint. "Snowy, stop that immediately! You stupid chien!"

TB: Ha ha! I love Halloween. Much more fun than Guy Fawkes Day. Do you know who I'm supposed to be?

JC: You are dressed as a bird, non?

TB: Righto. And not just any bird, I'm Bjork dressed as a swan. Let me sing for you.

JC: Non non, that is quite alright. Maybe after the drinks, mon ami. Tell me do you think President Barroso will be angry that we neglected to tell him about this meeting?

TB: Maybe - although he should be used to it now (they both laugh heartily).

SILVIO BERLUSCONI (PRIME MINISTER OF THE REPUBLIC OF ITALY) DRESSED AS GOD: Hello everyone. Check out my beard.

VLADIMIR PUTIN (PRESIDENT OF THE RUSSIAN FEDERATION) DRESSED AS HIMSELF: That is a nice beard. How come nobody told me this was a fancy dress party?

TB: Sorry Vladimir, old chap. You must have missed the email that was sent out yesterday. Silvio, that is a cool beard. You think George will listen to you now? Look here he comes with Paul.

PAUL MARTIN (PRIME MINISTER OF CANADA) DRESSED AS AN ICE HOCKEY PLAYER: I brought beer!

GEORGE W. BUSH (PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA) DRESSED AS A HURRICANE: And I brought taco chips.

VP: Comrade, what's up with the hurricane costume. A bit insensitive don't you think?

GB: I know I know. Look Vladimir, I don't want any grief tonight. Laura worked her little heart out sewing this for me, and that was months before it happens. I'm not going to let a good costume go to waste. Besides, I did the best I could. I really truly believe that God was on my side.

SB: (standing next to Bush) You mean like this? (Martin laughs so hard that beer comes out of his nose)

GB: Nice Paul. Really, you need to grow up.

PM: I need to grow up? That's ironic. Maybe you should grow up.

GB: Maybe you should make me.

PM: (lifting his hockey stick) Maybe I will.

GB: Yeah, and like maybe I should sign Kyoto.

PM: Creationist!

GB: Bono-lover!

JC: George, Paul! That's enough! Mon amis, let us be civil!

SB: Hey, what's wrong with Creationism?

JUNICHIRO KOIZUMI (PRIME MINISTER OF JAPAN) DRESSED AS SOME CHARACTER FROM POKEMON: Pikachu! Pikachu!

TB: Oh good, we're almost all here now. Just Gerhard now. Oh wait, here he comes.

GERHARD SCHRODER (CHANCELLOR OF THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF GERMANY) DRESSED AS BJORK DRESSED AS A SWAN: Sorry I'm late. Had trouble starting my car. Great costumes everyone. Hey Paul, Silvio, Tony, Oh shit! You're wearing the same costume as me...