World's Fair

Ways Darwin Could Jump the Shark

I’ve got a humour piece at McSweeney’s today in celebration of Darwin’s 200th. Here’s a snippet:

Joins the Ice Capades: Darwin is hired for small part in a Lion King-themed ice show. Takes skating lessons and practices hard. Soon nails both the triple axel and the triple lutz. Is fired from the show when he tests positive for performance-enhancing drugs.

My favourite bit is actually the part about losing his mind, and you can read the rest at McSweeney’s and maybe (if you’re so inclined) try to come up with a few yourself in the comments below.


  1. #1 kyle
    February 12, 2009

    I’d say a pony tail or a mullet might also do the trick.

  2. #2 jenjen
    February 12, 2009

    Does anyone know whether in all his publishings, Darwin did actually come across a shark (and maybe even jumped over it).

  3. #3 Timon
    February 12, 2009

    Okay, here are two:

    Runs for Governor in recall election

    Names campaign buses after his most famous books – “The Beagle Voyager”, etc. Campaign slogan of “Select Darwin, naturally” is widely mocked in the media. Loses when his “controversial” views regarding evolution are widely publicized.

    Performs hip hop duet with Public Enemy

    Track is entitled “Chuck D Times Two!”. In it, Darwin starts a beef with Wallace** and brags about sipping Hennesy on a yacht anchored off the Galapagos Islands.

    **Alfred Russell Wallace, not Christopher Wallace (aka Biggie Smalls).

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