Fisherman hauled the world’s largest squid ever caught out of the icy Antarctic waters last month. Since then, it has been kept on ice while scientists ponder how to prepare it for permanent display at the University of New Zealand. Larger than giant squid, colossal squid range from 40-65 feet long. This specimen weighed 1,090 lbs and was 33 feet long. Now the scientists have run into a problem: the frozen squid is so large that by the time the center of the beast defrosts, the outer flesh will have rotted.
Colossal squid captured, mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni
The logical solution? Throw the world’s largest known squid in the world’s largest microwave oven, of course. The one ton microwave was created for physics experiments but could be adapted for reheating a sea monster. Just like cooking a Hot Pocket… only filled with 1,000 lbs of squid.
No final decision has been made on how to defrost the colossal squid, which has eyes as big as dinner plates. If anyone made calamari from the beast, they would be as big as tractor tires. But there are no plans to eat it, unfortunately, partly because the flesh contains so much ammonia it would taste like floor cleaner.
The squid was caught when it started eating a Patagonian toothfish hooked at a depth of 1,800 meters on a longline of a New Zealand fishing trawler.
Because things are only in perspective when compared to a dump truck.