Deep in a cave off the coast of South Kona, Hawaii, marine biologist Marc Hughes discovered what he’d been seeking for years, a totally unspectacular new species of fish. Hughes was diving in the cave when he noticed a brown fish about 6 inches long swimming nearby. According to Hughes he immediately grabbed it with his hand and put it in his pocket…Wait…Huh?
The new species of Grammonus fish subsists mainly on a diet of mayonnaise on white bread.
Upon returning to the mainland, Hughes or as we will call him, Mr. Miyagi, gave his specimen (then dead) to a tropical fish dealer to transport to John E. Randall, a tropical fish expert at the Bishop Museum in Oahu. Unfortunately, the dealer was so unimpressed by the dead specimen that he threw it away, forcing Hughes to dive back into the cave to collect another, this time wearing a blindfold. The second time was a charm and Randall confirmed that the bland-looking fish was indeed a new species partly by using x-rays.
The new species of fish (from the genus Grammonus) is distinct from other Grammonus fish in that it has a different number of vertebrate in its spine. Grammonus fish are renowned both for giving birth to live babies and for being really really boring. While recognition and naming of the new fish will take about a year to become official, we are holding our breath in excitement. Will Hughes and Randall play it safe and go with the classy Grammonus labrosus or will they show a little scientific “leg” and go with the sexy, seductive Grammonus aurata?…ooooh, naughty.