Deep in a cave off the coast of South Kona, Hawaii, marine biologist Marc Hughes discovered what he’d been seeking for years, a totally unspectacular new species of fish. Hughes was diving in the cave when he noticed a brown fish about 6 inches long swimming nearby. According to Hughes he immediately grabbed it with his hand and put it in his pocket…Wait…Huh?

i-6a1a3f740cace0848badb17c01a7a30e-Grammonus Fish.jpg
The new species of Grammonus fish subsists mainly on a diet of mayonnaise on white bread.

Upon returning to the mainland, Hughes or as we will call him, Mr. Miyagi, gave his specimen (then dead) to a tropical fish dealer to transport to John E. Randall, a tropical fish expert at the Bishop Museum in Oahu. Unfortunately, the dealer was so unimpressed by the dead specimen that he threw it away, forcing Hughes to dive back into the cave to collect another, this time wearing a blindfold. The second time was a charm and Randall confirmed that the bland-looking fish was indeed a new species partly by using x-rays.

The new species of fish (from the genus Grammonus) is distinct from other Grammonus fish in that it has a different number of vertebrate in its spine. Grammonus fish are renowned both for giving birth to live babies and for being really really boring. While recognition and naming of the new fish will take about a year to become official, we are holding our breath in excitement. Will Hughes and Randall play it safe and go with the classy Grammonus labrosus or will they show a little scientific “leg” and go with the sexy, seductive Grammonus aurata?…ooooh, naughty.


  1. #1 kevin Z
    September 12, 2007

    or Gammonus nondescriptus

    Yes, well… how nice [yawn]. Good day sirs.

  2. #2 stogoe
    September 12, 2007

    Oh, come on. Compared to tuna, or cod, or mackerel, this thing is spectacular.

  3. #3 kevin Z
    September 13, 2007

    Well, not many fish can say they sport a wishbone under their jaw. Thats for sure.

  4. #4 Andrew
    September 13, 2007

    your random wishbone comment confuses us… are you referring to this fish or the moray eel or an unfortunate child?

  5. #5 kevin z
    September 17, 2007

    I was referring to the wishbone-shaped flap of skin on the ventral side beneath the gills. Its not really a wishbone, just looks like one.

  6. #6 holley
    September 19, 2007

    ooooh! Something new! Hurry, let’s kill it and hope there are more! Was stuffing it in his pocket really necessary? I’m sure the fish considers himself quite cutting edge 🙂

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