Researchers from the University of Bangor recently discovered the oldest known animal on record, a 405 year-old clam, while dredging at the bottom of the North Atlantic above Iceland. Then they killed it.
When I was your age, we used to have to walk to school, up hill both ways, and the ocean temperature was 6 degrees colder, and Bangor was run by Abnaki Indians, not snooty, tweed coated liberals.
The animal –an ocean quahog nicknamed Ming because that’s which dynasty was ruling China when the old feller was born–was precisely 31 years older than the previous record holder, another ocean quahog, named Pope Clemens VIII. Yup, made that last name up.
Either way, they scooped out the ancient critters insides immediately and threw them overboard. Only later when they examined the rings in the shell did they realize that they had found a record-holder. When asked to further comment on the demise of one of the planet’s oldest creatures Wanamaker responded, “Care? Hahahaha…I kill for fun.”
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