Zooillogix

Researchers from the University of Bangor recently discovered the oldest known animal on record, a 405 year-old clam, while dredging at the bottom of the North Atlantic above Iceland. Then they killed it.

i-26082fbd66ace78751373904f8bf238f-Ocean Quahog.jpg
When I was your age, we used to have to walk to school, up hill both ways, and the ocean temperature was 6 degrees colder, and Bangor was run by Abnaki Indians, not snooty, tweed coated liberals.

The animal –an ocean quahog nicknamed Ming because that’s which dynasty was ruling China when the old feller was born–was precisely 31 years older than the previous record holder, another ocean quahog, named Pope Clemens VIII. Yup, made that last name up.

“We had no idea it would be that old,” said Alan Wanamaker as quoted by this article in the India Times. Sure you didn’t. And Anna Nicole Smith was truly in love with this guy!

Either way, they scooped out the ancient critters insides immediately and threw them overboard. Only later when they examined the rings in the shell did they realize that they had found a record-holder. When asked to further comment on the demise of one of the planet’s oldest creatures Wanamaker responded, “Care? Hahahaha…I kill for fun.”

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Comments

  1. #1 Seph
    October 29, 2007

    So, what was the point in killing it? Is/was there some sort of bias situation…?

  2. #2 HP
    October 29, 2007

    Is it wrong that I’d feel a little bit better about this if they’d gone ahead and eaten it?

  3. #3 Tommaso
    October 30, 2007

    Shouldn’t the title with “Living creature” be corrected in “animal”?

  4. #4 Mark Powell
    October 30, 2007

    But wait, you may have eaten the oldest animal on earth. These clams are used for clam chowder. http://blogfishx.blogspot.com/2007/10/you-may-have-eaten-oldest-animal-on.html

  5. #5 Alice Shortcake
    October 31, 2007

    Oh dear…This reminds me of that unfortunate incident in 1964 when Donald R Currey cut down and killed “Prometheus”, a Bristlecone Pine that proved to be the oldest (ex)living thing on earth!

  6. #6 Cameron
    November 17, 2007

    Huh, I had no idea that Bangor, Wales (home of Bangor University) was once under the administration of Abnaki Indians.

  7. #7 mergirl1
    March 2, 2009

    Why did you kill it? The crab could’ve been used for research for marine biologists.

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