The results of a seven year survey of Europe’s rivers and lakes has finally arrived, and to the delight of Ben Stein, CPAs and colorblind people around the world, 57 new species of new nonthreatening, completely unexciting, brownish-gray fish have been identified. Europe now boasts 522 drab freshwater species as opposed to the laughable 485 of the olden days. Take that Azerbaijan!
Reportedly, the photographer fell asleep while taking this picture.
“The new species come from all over,” said Jörg Freyhof of the Leibniz Institute of Freshwater Ecology and Inland Fisheries in Berlin, Germany, one of the study’s coauthors in this article in National Geographic online. You can hear the excitement in his voice.
Some of the new species include a new kind of cisco, a little silvery pink fish (or ‘brown and gray” to the human eye), two “trout-like” charrs, and eight new kinds of sculpin. Scientists had known about many of these fish, but had not looked closely at them enough to separate them from some of their other cousins.
Unfortunately, new studies in Europe are also claiming that up to 1/3 of all these fish are facing extinction. God forbid!
Joking! Joking! But seriously, couldn’t these scientists put their resources into finding something slightly more awesome? Like a new kind of manatee? Or just a freaking sea slug!?