Zooillogix

We, the Brothers Bleiman, have speculated for years that humans' closest relative outside of the primate group is the colugo or flying lemur. Turns out we were right!

What up, cuz?

Two scientists, one from Penn State the other from Texas A&M, have recently proven that...

...the colugo group is the closest cousin to the primate group. They did this by comparing indels (major reorganizations of genetic sequences) in over 30 different groups of mammals to the indels of humans. Turns out we share 7 indels with colugos, the most of any other group! Of course the colugos, those cheating bastards, are actually closer themselves to tree shrews than to us, but hey, family is family!

In a different experiment, the scientists compared 13,000 letters of genetic code between the groups, and the results reiterated their original findings.

Majestic colugo, mid-glide.

Colugos neither fly, nor are they lemurs. They do, however, glide from tree to tree on long swathes of skin that stretch between their arms and legs. They have been described as shy, nocturnal, living only in the forests of South East Asia and "totally into designer shoes and feet, like totally into them" by the scientists who research them. Think that's gross? I bet you have human cousins into weirder stuff.

Some might wonder how we knew that colugos were humans' closest relative. Well, it is a little known fact that when Andrew, the older Brother Bleiman, was born, he had a large membrane of skin that extended from his thumbs to his big toes. Only minutes out of the womb, and he was soaring around the operating room like a freaking sugar glider. Nobody believed us, of course, when we told them. But we have blogged about it before.