I rarely divulge details of my personal life on Zooillogix because, frankly, I am quite a catch and I didn’t want female readers leaving their husbands. On July 12th however, I (Andrew – the older and wiser one who still has both hands) got married. I tell you this because something horrible happened shortly before the wedding that directly informs this story: my then fiancee forced me to get a pedicure.
For years she has begged me to clickity-clack the raptor claws I call toes down to “Nail Bar” but I staunchly refused, as any self-respecting pretend-zoologist must. She was quite persistent however, and in a foolish moment of short-sightedness, I told her that she could do “whatever she wanted to me” before the wedding. She is a patient, cunning woman.
So on July 10th, I accepted my fate. The experience was many things. Foremost among them: embarrassing, emasculating, expensive, boring, time-consuming, and somewhat painful. My servant (pedicurist?) spoke little English, so I decided to tell her the entire plot to Ender’s Game to see if I could remember it all and to which she dutifully nodded.

Getting pecked apart by tiny fish is all the rage in Istanbul.
This is all a very long way of bringing this awesomeness to your attention. A nail salon in Virginia has employed tiny fish, Garra rufa, to aid in the exfoliation process of pedicures. Also known as doctor fish, Garra rufa have long been used in Turkey where their tolerance for hot water and love of delicious dead skin have made them a hit with the ladies and hairy Turkish men. The fish have no teeth and only eat dead skin, so their is no risk of falling asleep at the spa and waking up to find your feet skelatalized.
The enterprising salon is believed to be the only one in the country to currently offer the treatment, which costs $35 for 15 minutes and $50 for 30 minutes. Customers seem to love it. In this AP article, women alternately describe the treatment as “feeling as if your foot is asleep,” “a little ticklish” and “that first night-swimming scene in Jaws.” With absolutely no medical research to back it up, the salon owner also claims the fish to be helpful in ameliorating the symptoms of psoriasis.
Relaxing… insofar as nightmares happen when you are asleep.
If my wife is reading this, I will return to Nail Bar as soon as they purchase 1,000 Gurra rufa. Thanks once again to Pat King for bringing this to our attention.