A pair of gay penguins at Polar Land in Harbin, north east China has taken to stealing the eggs of straight couples and leaving rocks in place to fool their victims. The penguins, named Anderson Cooper and Clay*** by the zoo keepers, have been outed by their fellow penmates and have since been ostracized by the flock. Fearing for the stress levels of the flock, keepers have taken Anderson and Clay out of their enclosure and segrated them alone in a pen of their own.
“Did you see little miss happy feet the other day? That new beak gloss was a travesty against all things good in this world!…” “Um, I KNOW it. I mean, wooo-ooooh, wooo-ooooh, someone call the Antarctic Fashion Police!”
When asked about the decision to separate the gay penguin couple, one keeper told the Austrian Times newspaper as reported in the Daily Telegraph, “It’s not discrimination. We have to fence them separately, otherwise the whole group will be disturbed during hatching time.”
Either way, 51 percent of Californians applauded the zoo’s decision. “When it comes to penguin rights, separate but equal sounds good to us,” a spokesman for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints from nearby Utah was quoted as saying.
Instances of animal homosexuality are recorded all over the science kingdom (including by us), and prove, once and for all, that when you don’t believe in genes, evolution or science, homosexuality is merely a choice of lifestyle.
***The names Anderson Cooper and Clay may not have actually been used by the keepers at the zoo, and may in fact have been invented by me.
Props to our Staff Researcher, Nick Van Der Horst, for uncovering this story…