The leading spider scientists have long been flabbergasted by two things: 1) Why they aren’t swimming in women with their own condominiums and 2) why some spiders seem to cover their otherwise see-through webs with junk. The scientists may now have an answer to question two, the one that, unfortunately, does not add to their genetic fitness. It appears as if spiders put leaves and other forms of organic garbage on their webs in order to fool predators into believing that the junk is in fact them, sitting in wait.

i-cd9a316dc1cebb719d3355151dc9e07f-Orb Spider Web.jpg

It’s my web and I’ll do what I damn well please with it.

A new study found on ScienceDirect by Ling Tsenga and Min Tsoa at Tunghai University in Taiwan has shown how actually making their webs more conspicuous to predators may increase the orb spider, Cyclosa mulmeinensis’ survival rates. By calculating the “colour contrasts of spiders against prey pellets and eggsacs” and recording “predators’ responses to spiders on webs in the field,” Tsenga and Tsoa showed that “this conspicuous antipredator display would enhance overall survival and was adaptive for this vulnerable prey.” Ling Tsenga added, “Now as i’m rollin’ with my n*@# Min Tsoa Dre and Eastwood, f@#$ hoes, clockin’ dough, up to no good. We flip flop and serve hoes like flap jacks.” At that point Min Soa chimed in with, “But we don’t love them hoes,” before Tsenga concluded, “B@#$, and it’s like that.”

NVDH…the man.


  1. #1 markopolous
    July 25, 2009

    -10 points for Diddy, +2 for Dre. You’re 8 in the hole.

  2. #2 mr_subjunctive
    July 25, 2009

    -10 points for triple posting; -5 for use of multiple names. You’re down 15, seksopolousizle.

  3. #3 speedwell
    July 27, 2009

    -10 points for not noticing the fact that there’s a bot duplicating legitimate posts; +2 for snarkiness. You’re 8 in the hole, sub-man.

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