Zooillogix

Man-Bear-Pig News

We here at Zooillogix have been sitting on this story for a while. We were afraid of just how much public outrage it could generate. But since we are morally obligated to bringing our readers the most up-to-date zooillogical news, often regardless of scientific proof, we’ve decided to go ahead with it.

Here it is: The following picture is NOT actually a photo of a golden retriever-human hybrid.

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That’s right. It’s a cruel hoax. I know, I know… I was entirely convinced, too. Unfortunately, it’s just a part of zartist Patricia Piccinini’s exhibition, “We Are Family.”

Our research team also found out that if the above actually did exist, and happened to have been created in Louisiana, the mad scientists behind it could have received up to 10 years hard labor. This is in accordance with the bill signed by Louisiana gov’na, Bobby Jindal, this past July. It’s the first to officially ban human-animal hybrids. I’m sure this is one of the top most concerns for Louisiana residents.

Take a look at these real hybrid animals. We’d like to know if any of our knowledable readers know more about hybrid species. Someone tell us what exactly defines a hybrid animal, so we don’t have to look it up ourselves.

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A geep.

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A cama.

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A zorse.

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A zonky.

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The cutest, and potentially most profitable the smaller we can engineer it: A zoney!

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The third Bleiman Brother.

Comments

  1. #1 Greg Laden
    August 21, 2009

    Thanks for creeping me out for the rest of the day.

  2. #2 milkshake
    August 21, 2009

    what – no 4-meter-long ligers?

  3. #3 Jim Thomerson
    August 21, 2009

    Hybrid is widely used; hybrid corn for crosses between different strains, for example. However, I have used it only to refer to the crossing of recognized species. I have referred to heterolocality vs homolocality crosses, for example, among populations of the same species.

    Among fish, one finds that successful interspecific hybrids exhibit some of the following characteristics:
    (1) same as both parents, (2) same as one parent, (3) intermediate between the two parents, (4) unique and different from both parents. Hybrids may have low survival, skewed sex ratio, infertility, complete fertility with themselves and both parent species, hybrid vigor or lack of fitness. etc. etc.

  4. #4 JN
    August 21, 2009

    The public option will require women to serve as surrogates and carry hybrid babies to term.

  5. #5 synapse
    August 22, 2009

    A geep is actually a chimera and not a hybrid. To produce a hybrid, parents of two different species mate and create an offspring. Every cell of a hybrid’s body contains DNA from both its parents and hence both species. However, geeps are made by combining the embryos of a sheep and a goat. A geep is a mosaic of sheep- and goat- derived cells. There have been genuine sheep-goat hybrids, but they are very, very rare.

    Even though the Louisiana bill says that it bans human-animal hybrids, the language of the Louisiana bill would also apply to human-animal chimeras, since it forbids mixing human embryos with animal cells or “cell components” and vice versa. I think the legislators were actually primarily concerned about chimeras, because these are the same people who believe in the sanctity of human embryos. Creating human-animal hybrids would have to involve bestiality, which is already a crime in Louisiana.

  6. #6 islamisayfa
    August 22, 2009

    Thanks for creeping me out for the rest of the day.

  7. #7 milkshake
    August 23, 2009

    this monstrosity is a ploy to drive us to ZooBorns, to compensate for the trauma

  8. #8 Marcia Earth
    August 25, 2009

    What do you do once the illegal human-animal hybrid is created? Doesn’t killing it mean killing something that is partly a human embryo, and therefore at least partly “sanctified”, according to the Louisiana legislators.

  9. #9 milkshake
    August 25, 2009

    human-animal hybrids do not work. Soviet Union in late 20s and early 30s had a secret eugenic program, trying to breed a super-soldier by crossing humans with gorillas and chimps. They had no luck with this lunacy, and they were obviously not too eager to publish their findings.

  10. #10 Marlene Affeld
    August 26, 2009

    The photo is very unsettling – I am sure that was the artist’s intention. I found it repugnant.
    Thank you for exposing this hoax before other’s saw it believed.

  11. #11 Alan
    August 27, 2009

    Although all the animals shown were produced in captivity, animals do also hybridize in the wild. White tailed and Mule deer regularly hybridize where their ranges overlap, and it appears that the European Bison may originate from an ancient hybridization event between Steppe Bison (ancestors of American Bison) and Aurochs (ancestors of domestic cattle.

  12. #12 ym
    August 28, 2009

    Aren’t mules hybrids?

  13. #13 Jim Thomerson
    August 28, 2009

    I don’t know anything about the mentioned Russian hybrid program in the ’20′s and ’30′s, but I’m sure milkshake realizes that there are lots of things we know how to do today which we did not know how to do in the ’20′s and ’30′s.

    You may have seen the story, on the internet, said to be related by a paleontologist who was there, of a drunken decision to impreganate a female chimp with human sperm. Said chimp appeared to become pregnant. In the sober light of day, the perpetrators decided to dose her with hormones to stop the preganancy, if any.

    The paleontologist, whose name I do not recall, told the story to a friend of mine, who told it to me. I have no reason to disbelieve it.

  14. #14 tk
    September 1, 2009

    Where I live, Gambel’s and scaled quail ranges overlap. They sometimes interbreed and produce hybrids. I don’t know if the offspring can reproduce but hybridization seems not all that uncommon in nature.

  15. #15 julia
    September 3, 2009

    I always wondered what Andrew and Benny’s brother looked like.

  16. #16 Lini
    September 13, 2009

    I think a “zonky” is actually what we here in the UK call a zeedonk… what’s the correct technical term?

  17. #17 Jim Thomerson
    September 13, 2009

    I have the recollection of reading that some 25% of flowering plant species were of hybrid origin. In the old days, I did a lot of work with fish hybridization and was up on the literature. It is my impression that most animal species do not hybridize in nature, but that many do. Hybridization ranging from one known hybrid to long lasting hybrid swarms.

    Introgression is the term for one species incorporating genetic material from another. From what I’ve read, it sounds like mitochondrial DNA introgresses much more readily than nuclear DNA. Hybridization is most likely in disturbed habitats, or when a species expands its range and encounters related species; as a result of human introductions or whatever. Results of hybridization can range from disasterous, for one or both species, to of little consequence to either.

  18. #18 Molly Suter
    November 3, 2009

    I am a manbearpig and I want to embrace it. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I AM UGLY!!!!!!

  19. #19 Molly Suter
    May 7, 2010

    I so did not write that.

  20. #20 video izle
    August 10, 2010

    Even though the Louisiana bill says that it bans human-animal hybrids, the language of the Louisiana bill would also apply to human-animal chimeras, since it forbids mixing human embryos with animal cells or “cell components” and vice versa. Introgression is the term for one species incorporating genetic material from another. From what I’ve read, it sounds like mitochondrial DNA introgresses much more readily than nuclear DNA. Hybridization is most likely in disturbed habitats, or when a species expands its range and encounters related species; as a result of human introductions or whatever. Results of hybridization can range from disasterous, for one or both species, to of little consequence to either.

    I think the legislators were actually primarily concerned about chimeras, because these are the same people who believe in the sanctity of human embryos. Creating human-animal hybrids would have to involve bestiality, which is already a crime in Louisiana.

  21. #21 Hanaconda
    September 2, 2010

    A hybrid is normally a cross between two different species that are closely related enough to produce offspring. For example, mules are a horse-donkey cross and ligers are a lion-tiger cross.

    However these hybrids are usually infertile themselves.

    Also, I think the word you’re looking for to describe a zebra-donkey cross is a zedonk. I’ve seen them in zoos, but I don’t think it’s legal to breed them anymore.

  22. #22 abrahim
    February 21, 2011

    will baddddddddddddddddd.!!!!

  23. #23 boyac─▒
    August 4, 2011

    There have been genuine sheep-goat hybrids, but they are very, very rare.

  24. #24 Aldo Wilkin
    July 1, 2012

    Being a SEO consultant I make YouTube video for marketing our clients business and products. It’s another effortless and popular way to marketing. Sometimes I watch other video clips in YouTube which are fun and interesting. Something like informative. I guess these also published the marketing managers. Many thanks!

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