Another medical condition that I am exceptionally happy not to have

Category: Bodily Fluids

Marin R, Francis JM. A case of idiopathic fecal incontinence. Evaluation and management. Am J Phys Med Rehabil. 1997 Jul-Aug;76(4):333-7.

I mean, it's one thing to piss yourself, but it's another thing entirely to poop yourself. For no apparent reason. While being examined for back pain.

Posted by Chris at 11:33 PM • 1 Comments • 0 TrackBacks

We have a winner!

Category: Special Occasions

Hi everyone. If I could kindly direct your attention to my brand new sweet-ass (heh!) banner. It is the work of dude named Ranger Jay, which indeed is an alias. He has done a swell job and I am most pleased.

Thank you to all of you who submitted banners! I appreciate you taking the time to put something together for me. Now to try and get some actual blog content together.

Posted by Chris at 8:39 PM • 5 Comments • 0 TrackBacks

Banner Contest - An Update

Category:

Hi all. I am hereby extending the deadline on my banner contest to the end of this week (April 18). This will hopefully coincide with an appreciable rise in posting frequency. I thank you for your patience on this matter.

Posted by Chris at 12:18 PM • 1 Comments • 0 TrackBacks

Postmortem fun!

Category: Death and Injury

Kunz J, Gross A. Victim's scalp on the killer's head. An unusual case of criminal postmortem mutilation. Am J Forensic Med Pathol. 2001 Sep;22(3):327-31.

Dude must have watched him some Con Air. Sweet movie, BTW. John Malkovich and Steve Buscemi as murderous badasses, and Nic Cage with greasy dreads. What else do you need? Don't you dare say a script.

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Ropohl D, Scheithauer R, Pollak S. Postmortem injuries inflicted by domestic golden hamster: morphological aspects and evidence by DNA typing. Forensic Sci Int. 1995 Mar 31;72(2):81-90.

Sperhake JP, Tsokos M. [Postmortem bite injuries cause by a domestic cat]
Arch Kriminol. 2001 Sep-Oct;208(3-4):114-9. German.

Romain N, Brandt-Casadevall C, Dimo-Simonin N, Michaud K, Mangin P, Papilloud J. Post-mortem castration by a dog: a case report. Med Sci Law. 2002 Jul;42(3):269-71.

Tsokos M, Schulz F, Püschel K. Unusual injury pattern in a case of postmortem animal depredation by a domestic German shepherd. Am J Forensic Med Pathol. 1999 Sep;20(3):247-50.

Today's A Good Poop life lesson: Don't die alone with animals in the house if you want an open coffin. Man's best friend my ass.

Posted by Chris at 1:11 PM • 5 Comments • 0 TrackBacks

Trouser snakebitten

Category: Sex

Rosen T. Penile ulcer from traumatic orogenital contact. Dermatol Online J. 2005 Aug 1;11(2):18.

I love how even something like 'dude gets his dick bitten by someone and the bite turns into an gross infected sore' can be transmuted into an almost pleasant and innocuous jargonistic title such as this. I ought to do a whole post on this kind of thing.

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Behar DM, Edelshtein S, Ben-Ami H, Mansano R, Edoute Y. Human bite on penile shaft from oral sex as a portal of entry for streptococcal toxic shock syndrome. Isr Med Assoc J. 2000 Dec;2(12):945-7. No abstract available.

Jesus fucking Christ.

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Ameh EA, Chirdan LB, Odigie VI. Amputation of the penis by human bite: a case report.
Ann Trop Paediatr. 1999 Mar;19(1):119-20.

Okay, so you're probably thinking that some lady went a little loco and bit off her husband's/boyfriend's dick. As terrible as that sounds, it's actually even worse. A little kid got his dick bitten off by an insane person! That's fucked up!

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Fiumara NJ, Exner JH. Primary syphilis following a human bite. Sex Transm Dis. 1981 Jan-Mar;8(1):21-2.

Dude was probably all like "You know what? I can deal. It's not like they bit it off or anything. It'll heal, and then we're back in the game! What's the worst that could happen?" Syphilis, that's what. Sweet, sweet syphilis.

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Rosen T, Conrad N. Genital ulcer caused by human bite to the penis. Sex Transm Dis. 1999 Oct;26(9):527-30.

From the paper: "Human (dick) bite injuries...usually stem from aggressive behaviour, sports, or sexual activity." This is why I don't play rugby, folks.

Posted by Chris at 10:00 AM • 5 Comments • 0 TrackBacks

Banner contest!

Category: Paperwork

Hey folks,

The time has come. This blog needs a groovy banner. If you design one, send it to me, and I like it, you win. I'll throw your name with a link to whatever you'd like in the sidebar, and possibly mail you a surprise* prize.

The banner should be 756 x 93 pixels max. It should also not have any sorts of actual images of feces incorporated into it, because that's gross. Although mite turds might be alright. You can email them to me at:

agoodpoop@gmail.com

Thanks, and happy creating!

Edit: The only text required in the banner is 'A Good Poop', and the deadline for submissions is April 15.

Posted by Chris at 11:00 AM • 5 Comments • 0 TrackBacks

Blood and sexual orientation

Category: Sex

Ellis L, Ficek C, Burke D, Das S. Eye color, hair color, blood type, and the rhesus factor: exploring possible genetic links to sexual orientation. Arch Sex Behav. 2008 Feb;37(1):145-9.

Based on a sample of 2000+ college students and people found in internet chat rooms, the authors of this paper found that gay men and lesbians exhibited low and high incidences, respectively, of A blood type compared to heterosexuals (p < 0.05). Additionally, they found that a unusually high proportion of homosexuals of both sexes were Rh- (i.e. had no Rhesus D antigen on their red cells) compared to heterosexuals (p < 0.06). Blood type and Rh factor were self-reported, and the internet chat room sampling sounds sort of sketchy. If the stats hold, since blood type and Rh factor are genetically determined, there might be some kind of genetic linkage thing going on with sexual orientation. Zip zap.

Posted by Chris at 1:00 PM • 3 Comments • 0 TrackBacks

Adventures with ill-fitting dentures

Category: Icky

Arora A, Arora M, Roffe C. Mystery of the missing denture: an unusual cause of respiratory arrest in a nonagenarian. Age Ageing. 2005 Sep;34(5):519-20.

A nonagenarian is someone between 90 and 100 years old. That's really old. Behold the power of swallowing a loose denture:

It got stuck in her hypopharynx, the part of the throat that connects to the esophagus.

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Samarasam I, Chandran S, Shukla V, Mathew G. A missing denture's misadventure! Dis Esophagus. 2006;19(1):53-5.

Ah, the tracheoesophageal fistula. Say goodbye to a sizable chunk of your esophagus!

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de Ruiter MH, van Damme PA, Drenth JP. [Serious complications following removal of an ingested partial denture] Ned Tijdschr Geneeskd. 2007 Jan 20;151(3):194-7. Dutch.

Apparently people have problems with their dentures in the Netherlands as well.

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Lam YH, Ng EK, Chung SC, Li AK. Laser-assisted removal of a foreign body impacted in the esophagus. Lasers Surg Med. 1997;20(4):480-2.

Lasers make everything cooler. Particularly the extraction of a denture from some guy's food tube.

Posted by Chris at 4:00 PM • 2 Comments • 0 TrackBacks

Fun with celebratory gunfire

Category: Death and Injury

So the word is on the street that if you fire a bunch of bullets up in the air, they eventually end up falling back to earth at speeds capable of killing people. Great way to celebrate, eh? Celebratory gunfire injuries occur worldwide, and represent the ultimate in preventable injury.

Incorvaia AN, Poulos DM, Jones RN, Tschirhart JM. Can a falling bullet be lethal at terminal velocity? Cardiac injury caused by a celebratory bullet. Ann Thorac Surg. 2007 Jan;83(1):283-4.

Some dude was out celebrating New Year's in East Lansing, Michigan, and ended up in the hospital with a bullet in his stomach. A bullet that passed through the right ventricle of his heart on the way there! Dude lost over 5 litres of blood and went through a 9-hour surgery to remove the bullet and repair the damage it caused. All thanks to some asshole who didn't think about where bullets go when they are fired up into the sky.

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). New Year's Eve injuries caused by celebratory gunfire--Puerto Rico, 2003. MMWR Morb Mortal Wkly Rep. 2004 Dec 24;53(50):1174-5.

The particularly wonderful thing about celebratory gunfire injuries is that they are utterly indiscriminate. A report by the Puerto Rico Department of Health found that celebratory gunfire injuries affected a higher percentage of women and children than injuries from regular old shooting at things.

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Ordog GJ, Dornhoffer P, Ackroyd G, Wasserberger J, Bishop M, Shoemaker W, Balasubramanium S. Spent bullets and their injuries: the result of firing weapons into the sky. J Trauma. 1994 Dec;37(6):1003-6.

Between 1985 and 1992, 118 people were treated for random falling-bullet injuries at a single hospital in Los Angeles. The breakdown of injuries caused by celebratory gunshots is as follows: 77% head, 12% shoulder, 5% upper back, 2% chest, 1% upper arm, 1% leg, and 1% foot.

Posted by Chris at 10:00 AM • 5 Comments • 0 TrackBacks