This is un freaking real.
My friend John O at Armed With Science has dug up a classic animated film produced for the National Naval Medical Center in 1973. It starts with an awards ceremony for the "Communicable Disease of the Year," hosted by the Grim Reaper (who turns out to know a lot about medical history.)
The top prize is won by the Dracula-esque Count Spirochete (AKA syphilis), over the vociferous objections of a shortlist of other diseases, including smallpox ("I've scarred and disfigured millions of people!") and gonorrhea (who resembles a lavender Tribble with a pitchfork). The clip goes on to explain the history of syphilis, using awkward euphemisms like "camp follower" and "other types of conquests," trippy 70s music, and animated rainbows to allude to sex. Then it tries to elucidate the physiology of veneral disease. Striving valiantly not to show any actual genitalia, the animators resorted to an Inner-Space like trip through a series of confusing pink tubes. Did you ever want to see an animated Tribble-like giggling gonorrea character stab the inside of the penis and the cervix with a mini pitchfork? Then this is the video for you!
I could go on, but I'd rather let you discover the wonders of "The Return of Count Spirochete" for yourself. And ask yourself as you watch: what age group was this for? Did they make students watch this in public health class? Was there an epidemic of fatal embarassment? Did any of YOU have to watch this? And most importantly, who signed off on the storyboard for this project?
Remember, kids: "But I, Count Spirochaete, kill! KILL! KILL!"
Oh, and if you're not done with your Christmas shopping, John's post includes a link to buy this treasure of public health education - on VHS! Nice.
Updated: email from readers and a little research confirms the film was not used in high school, but rather in training for young sailors, thank goodness. Still, SO AWKWARD. It's certainly a different strategy than this much prettier take on gonorrhea.
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