Perfume Sprayers of Mass Destruction

Posted by Tim Lambert on April 6, 2006
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Tim Blair grasps at a straw, I mean perfume sprayer:

Frank Gaffney is interviewed by the ABC’s Tony Jones, who confidently deploys the “Saddam had no WMD” argument:

TONY JONES: Except for the fact as it turns out — I’m sorry to interrupt you there — except for the fact as it turns out, he didn’t have any?

FRANK GAFFNEY: No, it doesn’t turn out at all that he didn’t have any. It turns out we haven’t found what he had. But what we did find, what the Iraq Survey Group did find, is plans to use the in place dual-use manufacturing facilities once sanctions were lifted to put chemical and biological agents in aerosol cans and perfume sprayers to be shipped to the United States and Europe. That was the plan for terrorist activity that we have confirmed was in place under Saddam Hussein’s regime. You haven’t heard a great deal about it. Perhaps it has not been reported adequately enough to the Australian people or, for that matter, to the American people. But it’s true.

i-f74841700785da9c2cd6570a02802b54-iraqitank.jpg
Tim Dunlop has already comprehensively demolished this nonsense but I couldn’t resist posted a picture illustrating the terrible threat from the perfume sprayers of mass destruction. Err, plans for perfume sprayers. Err, one guy who claimed they had a plan to put Sarin in perfume sprayers.

Being completely delusional is practically a job requirement for Frank Gaffney because he works for a neo-conservative think tank, but Tim Blair is assistant news editor for The Bulletin. Can we soon expect articles like How to tell if your prostitute is an extraterrestrial?

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Comments

  1. #1 Robert McClelland
    April 6, 2006

    Is it even theoretically possible to put something like Sarin gas in a perfume sprayer without it leaking and killing the very people who would want to deploy it as a weapon?

  2. #2 z
    April 6, 2006

    “Is it even theoretically possible to put something like Sarin gas in a perfume sprayer without it leaking and killing the very people who would want to deploy it as a weapon?”

    Boy, this could revolutionize biochemical warfare. Save a lot of money if they didn’t need to be so careful.

  3. #3 Steve Reuland
    April 6, 2006

    Imagine all the damage someone could do with a perfume sprayer loaded with chemical weapon. Now imagine just how much more damage he could do with a pistol loaded with bullets.

  4. #4 z
    April 6, 2006

    I have translated some of those recently released Iraqi documents, and as near as I can figure it, Saddam had a plot to send agents to the US who would eat large batches of lentils and then flatulate in public places. That cunning bastard! Thank God it was stopped in time.

  5. #5 anthony
    April 7, 2006

    The missing tank track is a nice touch.

  6. #6 Bill O'Slatter
    April 7, 2006

    Yes z a cunning plan to spread lentil illness. Also , I thought the Bulletin was a right wing “think” tank . Does the tank pictured have Gerard Henderson in it ?

  7. #7 Tim Lambert
    April 7, 2006

    Not only is the track off, it’s a WW2 vintage Sherman tank that the Iraqi army had. Scary stuff.

  8. #8 Kevin Donoghue
    April 7, 2006

    Ah, but a closer look reveals that there is a replacement track just in front of the tank. So this “decommissioned” weapon can swiftly be made operational again just as soon as the inspectors’ backs are turned.

  9. #9 Kevin Donoghue
    April 7, 2006

    Of all the theories floated in 2003 regarding the missing WMD, this was my favourite.

  10. #10 Dano
    April 7, 2006

    You people slay me. The loose track is proof – PROOF I say – of Saddam’s intent to refurbish their army to attack Murrica. You see, that track showe that Saddam was an imminent threat. It’s traitorous to think otherwise. ;o)

    Best,

    D

  11. #11 Nabakov
    April 8, 2006

    You can imagine the training for the crack operatives deployed to employ this deadly new weapon.

    “Hold the bottle in your right hand and extend your arm. On the count of three, shout “Death to the Great Satan!” and firmly squeeze the bulb. No no, you motherless son of a dog! point it the other way.”

    And wait til little tim hears about the anthrax turkeys.

  12. #12 Ian Gould
    April 10, 2006

    “plans for perfume sprayers. Err, one guy who claimed they had a plan to put Sarin in perfume sprayers.”

    Mock all you want, Tim, the fact remains that Iraq was mere
    decades away from developing box-cutter technology.

  13. #13 TallDave
    April 10, 2006

    Yeah, it’s not like Saddam would have eventually developed WMD once the sanctions regime collapsed, or that he was maintaining dual-use facilities for that very reason. Besides, a bad plan for WMD use is like “attempted” murder: it didn’t work, so how can it even be a crime!

    Committing terrorism from behind an eventual nuclear deterrent? Ridiculous! Saddam was a model humanitarian!

    Eau de sarin, anyone?

  14. #14 Dano
    April 10, 2006

    I have the pin and a couple of screws to TallDave’s hinge. Three more screws and we can re-hinge him. Has anyone seen TD’s missing screws?

    Best,

    D