Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Yep, it’s Stevens

Senator Ted Stevens’ spokesman confirmed that he was indeed the senator that put a “secret hold” on a bill that would increase government transparency and help us find where our tax dollars are going to. Apparently, the memo about committing political suicide got stuck in the tubes when one of his aides sent him an internet.


  1. #1 Jim S
    August 30, 2006

    If the only way we could get rid of Ted Stevens would be to kick Alaska out of the U.S. I think I’d be willing to see it happen. I certainly know that given the quality of politician they’ve been giving us there are some southern states that I’ve occasionally thought should have been allowed to secede. And that’s really sad given that’s where my family is from.

  2. #2 Grumpy
    August 30, 2006

    Jim S, that’s really mean.

    Speaking from Alaska here.

    Though you’re right about the only way to get rid of Stevens.

  3. #3 Ron H.
    August 31, 2006

    I am confused. Please explain to me exactly how Stevens action helps Alaska?

  4. #4 Ick of the East
    August 31, 2006

    It’s probably payback for other Senators trying to take his bridge (to nowhere) away in order to help pay for Katrina.

  5. #5 Rev. BigDumbChimp
    August 31, 2006

    Don’t forget, Ted “Tubes” Steven won the Hogzilla award last year from Citizens Against Government Waste for his $646 million in pork for Alaska. That’s around $985 of pork per Alaskan. Ranked #1 in the country for pork per capita.

    His reasons are obvious.

  6. #6 Rev. BigDumbChimp
    August 31, 2006

    Stevens. I’d hate to blame the Salmon cannery worker Ted Steven for Ted Stevens’ porktacular appropriations.

  7. #7 Stogoe
    August 31, 2006

    That’s it. From now on I’m calling him Tubey McSenile. Or maybe His Tubeyness, Senile McPorkster. This guy deserves all the disdain that can be thrown on him.

  8. #8 Andrew_Wyatt
    August 31, 2006

    It’s a credit to the populist power the Web and the widespread hatred of pork among grassroots activists of all stripes that a non-partisan site (Porkbusters), a conservative site (GOP Progress), and a liberal site (TPMmuckraker) banded together so fast to uncover the identity of the “masked Senator”.

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