This is the funniest thing I have read since PZ got thrown out of EXPELLED. This cant freaking be real.
A woman by the name of ‘Bernann McKinney’ just made news by having her dead pit bull, Booger, cloned by a S. Korean company, RNL Bio.
Shortly after ‘Bernann’ rescued Booger off the streets, ‘Bernann’ was attacked by another dog, and Booger came to her rescue. She feels like shes alive because of Booger. I know the loyalty pits show their owners– I feel her pain. But since she rescued Booger, ‘Bernann’ of all people should know what great dogs you can find on the street and in shelters! Shit, you can get a fixed pup with all their shots from the OKC shelter for $20. I cant even understand why people pay $$$ to breeders, much less $50,000 to clone a lost pet. And she got a bargain– you and I would have to pay $150K to do the same thing. Its a waste of money, its a waste of life, its stupid.
That part of this story is not funny.
The rest of the story is funny.
1. ‘Bernann’ thinks God sent her the cloned puppies.
God ‘knew I would be lost without him, so he sent me some more’
2. The dog that attacked ‘Bernann’ wasnt a stray. It was one of her own goddamn dogs. In a TODAY interview, she claimed her arm was amputated after that attack, but was reconstructed. In online articles Ive found, it is her ‘left hand’ that was amputated, but reconstructed.
Now, Im a PhD student, not an MD student… but I am pretty sure that ‘amputation’ means they cut off your arm. They cut the whole damn thing off, because the damage is too severe, or whatever.
Um… I dont think you can ‘reconstruct’ new arms…
3. ‘Bernann’ sold her house and spent $50K to clone her dog so she could sell a book and a movie based on Boogie/Cloned Boogies. Shes going to use the money she makes to open a ‘school’ for training therapy dogs in memory of Boogie.
… she’s preparing to offer book and movie deal. “I hope to sell the rights and have a place called Booger’s Place, which would be his legacy, a training center for service dogs for handicapped people,” she told Morales.
Ignoring the fact she could have used the initial $50K to do that!!!! Arnie took therapy dog courses. They were at the National Guard Armory. About $5 a class. LOL!
4. Okay, youve been wondering why I put ‘Bernann McKinney’ in quotes? Yeah, thats not her name. Her name is Joyce McKinney. Joyce is a former model who kidnapped a Mormon missionary and jumped bail.
In 1977, the former Miss Wyoming stalked her lover, a Mormon missionary, to a tabernacle in East Ewell, Surrey, allegedly kidnapped him and held him in a cottage in Devon. There, the 17-stone Kirk Anderson claimed, his petite, busty admirer tied him to a bed using mink-trimmed handcuffs, slipped into a see-through nightie and forced him into sex. At a remand hearing she declared her love for the Mormon with the immortal line: “I’d ski naked down Mount Everest with a carnation up my nose if he asked me.”
Her counsel told magistrates: “Me-think the Mormon doth protest too much. You have seen the size of Mr Anderson and you have seen the size of my client.” To flee on bail, she donned a red wig and disguised herself as a member of a mime troupe, together with her alleged accomplice, Keith May. No extradition warrant was issued. William Hucklesby, the detective who led the inquiry, said: “My own view is that we were well rid of her.”
5. Joyce is also a fan of 1-800-FLOWERS.
The sheriff of Avery County, North Carolina, said that Miss McKinney faced an outstanding arrest warrant for “communicating threats” in her former home town. Kevin Frye, the police chief, said that local people began e-mailing him about Miss McKinney as soon as the news of her cloned dogs was broadcast on television. “I guess I was surprised she was in South Korea,” he said.