Arnie: $150,000 puppy

This is the funniest thing I have read since PZ got thrown out of EXPELLED. This cant freaking be real.

A woman by the name of ‘Bernann McKinney’ just made news by having her dead pit bull, Booger, cloned by a S. Korean company, RNL Bio.

Shortly after ‘Bernann’ rescued Booger off the streets, ‘Bernann’ was attacked by another dog, and Booger came to her rescue. She feels like shes alive because of Booger. I know the loyalty pits show their owners– I feel her pain. But since she rescued Booger, ‘Bernann’ of all people should know what great dogs you can find on the street and in shelters! Shit, you can get a fixed pup with all their shots from the OKC shelter for $20. I cant even understand why people pay $$$ to breeders, much less $50,000 to clone a lost pet. And she got a bargain– you and I would have to pay $150K to do the same thing. Its a waste of money, its a waste of life, its stupid.

That part of this story is not funny.

The rest of the story is funny.


1. ‘Bernann’ thinks God sent her the cloned puppies.

God ‘knew I would be lost without him, so he sent me some more’

2. The dog that attacked ‘Bernann’ wasnt a stray. It was one of her own goddamn dogs. In a TODAY interview, she claimed her arm was amputated after that attack, but was reconstructed. In online articles Ive found, it is her ‘left hand’ that was amputated, but reconstructed.
Now, Im a PhD student, not an MD student… but I am pretty sure that ‘amputation’ means they cut off your arm. They cut the whole damn thing off, because the damage is too severe, or whatever.
Um… I dont think you can ‘reconstruct’ new arms…

3. ‘Bernann’ sold her house and spent $50K to clone her dog so she could sell a book and a movie based on Boogie/Cloned Boogies. Shes going to use the money she makes to open a ‘school’ for training therapy dogs in memory of Boogie.

… she’s preparing to offer book and movie deal. “I hope to sell the rights and have a place called Booger’s Place, which would be his legacy, a training center for service dogs for handicapped people,” she told Morales.

Ignoring the fact she could have used the initial $50K to do that!!!! Arnie took therapy dog courses. They were at the National Guard Armory. About $5 a class. LOL!

4. Okay, youve been wondering why I put ‘Bernann McKinney’ in quotes? Yeah, thats not her name. Her name is Joyce McKinney. Joyce is a former model who kidnapped a Mormon missionary and jumped bail.

In 1977, the former Miss Wyoming stalked her lover, a Mormon missionary, to a tabernacle in East Ewell, Surrey, allegedly kidnapped him and held him in a cottage in Devon. There, the 17-stone Kirk Anderson claimed, his petite, busty admirer tied him to a bed using mink-trimmed handcuffs, slipped into a see-through nightie and forced him into sex. At a remand hearing she declared her love for the Mormon with the immortal line: “I’d ski naked down Mount Everest with a carnation up my nose if he asked me.”

Her counsel told magistrates: “Me-think the Mormon doth protest too much. You have seen the size of Mr Anderson and you have seen the size of my client.” To flee on bail, she donned a red wig and disguised herself as a member of a mime troupe, together with her alleged accomplice, Keith May. No extradition warrant was issued. William Hucklesby, the detective who led the inquiry, said: “My own view is that we were well rid of her.”

5. Joyce is also a fan of 1-800-FLOWERS.

The sheriff of Avery County, North Carolina, said that Miss McKinney faced an outstanding arrest warrant for “communicating threats” in her former home town. Kevin Frye, the police chief, said that local people began e-mailing him about Miss McKinney as soon as the news of her cloned dogs was broadcast on television. “I guess I was surprised she was in South Korea,” he said.

……

Comments

  1. #1 Cory Albrecht
    August 7, 2008

    Hey, ERV, I think I found teh definitive grammar website for you.

    http://speaklolspeak.com/ and as companion, http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=How_to_speak_lolcat

    Wif deze Im shure U R blagging bettr
    kthxbai :-)

  2. #2 Yoo
    August 7, 2008

    It would be hilarious if the cloned dog was actually a naturally conceived dog masquerading as a clone. At least there isn’t much worry about that, unlike the cloning of human embryonic stem cells.

    I’m actually bewildered there might be enough of a market for cloned dogs that there is fierce competition.

  3. #3 TyBowen
    August 7, 2008

    Well there isn’t much chance off the dogs being naturally conceived as the surrogate was a korean dog, not a pit bull. But cloning dogs is always fun. i thought the funniest part was that the company claiming they are a commercial success after one cloned dog. And are the therapy dog classes available at all National Guard Centers or just the ones where you are? Oswald (my puppy) is fiesty.

  4. #4 flo
    August 7, 2008

    Yeah, seriously why clone dogs? Hot ninja chicks that help you become conquer the world, THAT I would understand … :)

  5. #5 Stacy S.
    August 7, 2008

    What a loon –

    ‘I loved Kirk so much I would have skied down Mount Everest in the nude with a carnation up my nose’

  6. #6 TomJoe
    August 7, 2008

    As someone who has 3 rescues, I can’t fathom paying anything for a dog, except to reimburse the shelter for shots/fixing.

  7. #7 Nentuaby
    August 8, 2008

    I donno. I hate to be a wet blanket, but…

    Rape is funny now? I suppose I must have missed that memo.

  8. #8 Stacy S.
    August 8, 2008

    Yeah… uh – I don’t think she means funny HaHa… but Funny Freakin’ weird!

  9. #9 Jason Dick
    August 8, 2008

    Man, reproductive cloning is just plain stupid. There’s a very good reason that sexual reproduction exists.

  10. #10 Rational Jen
    August 8, 2008

    I knew someone who’d pay $50k to have their dog cloned had to have a screw loose. Wonder how long it’ll take Booger’s mom to figure out she didn’t really get her dog back.

    We’re 2 for 2 at the local shelter. I got my late French Bulldog – that’s right, a purebred Frenchie – from a local animal shelter for a whopping $75. She then set out to prove what my vet always says – there are no free puppies. We spent thousands on her vet care during the 5 years we had her, and while I don’t regret any of it, I wouldn’t have spent a dime to clone her. Dana was irreplaceable, and it would be disrepectful to even try.

    We said we weren’t going to get another dog for a while, but a couple of months ago we found ourselves back at the shelter. We brought home a beautiful Greyhound mix that my son named Zoe. She’s still a goofy puppy, but she’s already becoming a wonderful dog. I can’t for the life of me figure out how either of my dogs ended up in a shelter. Oh well, Zoe can sleep at the foot of my son’s bed for the rest of her life now. And when she dies, hopefully of old age, we will not have her cloned. Even if it’s really cheap by then.

  11. #11 The Chimp's Raging Id
    August 8, 2008

    LOL!!! You couldn’t make this shit up.

  12. #12 Stephen D. Moore
    August 8, 2008

    I wonder how she’ll feel when she begins to notice that it’s not the same dog. Just because it contains the same DNA doesn’t mean it’s the same animal.

    And that’s the worrying thing about cloning: the assumption that DNA = identity. It’s bad enough when such thinking is applied to non-human animals, but when it comes to cloning humans that is going to be a nightmare. Little five year old Suzie dies in a hit-and-run collision, parents clone her, mould her into the Suzie they once knew, placing all their hopes and dreams for the old Suzie on to the new Suzie, and get angry when she’s not the same Suzie they knew and loved.

  13. #13 Reynold Hall
    August 8, 2008

    Man, this is messed up. That’s pretty much all I’ve got to say, other than it looks like there’s a christian bashing Behe out there.

  14. #14 Ian
    August 8, 2008

    “I dont think you can ‘reconstruct’ new arms…”

    Maybe she had it cut off so she could send it to Korea and get it cloned? It probably was part of an arms deal….

  15. #15 Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT
    August 8, 2008

    That is good stuff right there.

    Mink lined handcuffs. Not just fur lined, but Mink lined.

  16. #16 Blaidd Drwg
    August 8, 2008

    It sounds like this ‘lady’ has a royal flush of woo going on in what passes for a brain.

    “It probably was part of an arms deal….”

    Ian, you owe me a new keyboard – the old one just wasn’t up to the sudden, high-pressure assault of coffee.

  17. #17 DAM10N
    August 8, 2008

    Rape is funny only when it is a 238 pound guy being “forced” into a bed by a petite woman wielding a pair mink-lined handcuffs. How does one force a guy to become usefully aroused? Are see-through nighties essential? Oy, to have such problems…

  18. #18 Optimus Primate
    August 8, 2008

    I have nothing constructive to add to this, except to say that I just want to smooch Arnie’s little puppy nose. Who could say ‘no’ to that face?

  19. #19 Mr_P
    August 8, 2008

    “Bernann McKinney is reveling in the joy of her five little Boogers”

    Wow, got one on her thumb too. Seriously, does anyone name a dog Booger?

    She also seems to have 2 perfectly fine hands in those photos… I expected some scarring,
    One article mentions the left hand being amputated and reconstructed later, the other says her arm was bit off and surgically reattached. My guess is she had a few deep cuts and got stiched up and is exageratting the whole story.

    Mr. P

  20. #20 Yoo
    August 8, 2008

    One morbid way to get a male to involuntarily have an erection is to kill him. Besides, size doesn’t really matter if you can ambush your victim while he’s asleep or drugged. A gun would do nicely, too.

  21. #21 Jared
    August 8, 2008

    @10
    She may have one or two loose screws, but I think the rest are already missing.

    On a more serious note, amputation is a surgical procedure to remove a limb. It is doubtful that she had such a procedure if she, indeed, has a hand. It may have been severed, but the instances of a dog biting OFF a limb are very difficult to believe. Considering dogs only have a maximum bite force of about 300 lbs, it’s doubtful she had a hand bitten OFF. Even sharks, with their 1000 lb+ bite force have to tear to remove all the ligaments. It is unlikely that a dog, without gnawing on someone’s hand, could remove it.

  22. #22 RayvenAlandria
    August 8, 2008

    Things like this are funny, in a morbid way, but they also make me ill. It’s sickening that nutbags like her float through life without suffering consequences for their actions. The bitch raped a boy and got away with it. That’s not funny. For those readers who think a small woman cannot rape a larger man, think again. It is possible for a small woman to rape a large man. It has to do with psychology and personality type, not body size. If the larger person is meek and passive, used to following orders, (hint; MORMON), and the small person is domineering, it is absolutely possible for it to happen, with or without a weapon. How do you think large women are raped by men who are smaller than they are? Why do you see large women in relationships with smaller men, whom quite frankly, they could beat the shit of…and yet the large women is the one being beaten? You would never question that, so why question that a man can be raped by a women who is smaller than they are? It is a matter of personality type and psychological domination, not physics. IMO, this psycho bitched raped someone, and who knows how many others she has violated in one way or another over the years. She is a predator. Now she is using the puppies to try to get rich. (who knows if they are even really clones). She just a slimy con-artists and a whack-job.
    I hope one her puppies grows up and eats her.

  23. #23 jba
    August 8, 2008

    “How does one force a guy to become usefully aroused?”

    It can happen. It’s a physical response, a guy doesn’t really have control over it. I had a friend in high school (male) who was date-raped. He definitely didn’t want it, despite the gender stereotypes that men (especially teenagers) always want sex. But he was a skinny little dude and she was tough and on coke, not over 200 pounds and a petite ex-miss Wyoming. It sounds like the guy is just trying to keep his temple recommend…

  24. #24 pdiff
    August 8, 2008

    Hmmmm ….. I would have thought she’d have the Mormon cloned … Well parts of him anyway!

  25. #25 Dustin
    August 8, 2008

    I’d ski naked down Mount Everest with a carnation up my nose if he asked me.

    That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.

  26. #26 Jennifer
    August 8, 2008

    Here you go. A little visual of what those poor puppies are REALLY thinking!

    http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/view.aspx?ciid=1730128

  27. #27 Mobius
    August 8, 2008

    This woman has NO common sense. Even if the dog is genetically the same as her former dog, there is no guarantee that his personality is going to be the same. And there is also the problem clones appear to have with aging (at least, I haven’t heard of any remedies for that problem).

    As you say, ERV, you can get a great dog for next to nothing. It doesn’t have to be a pure bred. While I have had pure bred chows that were good dogs, my last two dogs have been mixed breeds and I thought the world of them. I will probably never go the pure bred route again.

  28. #28 karl
    August 9, 2008

    Pets are great but spending $150,000 to bring back your dead dog when you could have spent that adopting a Korean orphan… No perspective.

  29. #29 Brian X
    August 12, 2008

    I would stop short of calling her a rapist. It seems to me the rape charge is a rather hard one to make stick given that she jumped bail and evidently was never tried for the crime. What is evidently far beyond doubt is that she’s about half a dumptruck of bricks short of a load, though, and whatever the facts of her escapade, she’s clearly caused a fair amount of trouble since.

    As for cloning animals — I can really only think of one good reason to do that, and that’s to preserve specific breedinq qualities in a desired animal. That said, wouldn’t telomere degradation render even that application moot? I mean, didn’t Dolly have premature aging problems?

  30. #30 Meraydia
    August 12, 2008

    Well there goes another one of the worlds nutcases. You know, that money could be put to such good use in other spots, although I dunno if I’d want that woman adopting a korean child karl,who knows what type of psych damaged she would inflict on it.

    And Brian? It’s hard enough to charge a male rapist who you know has raped a girl, let alone a tiny woman in a case of “assumed” male consent. I do beleive that it is possible for anyone to rape another person, regardless of size. Remember people: rape is about power, not sex.

    On the subject of pure-breds, if you want a simple pet then the pound is a great place to start, bred-rescues are also good, but they probably wont allow you to rescue if you have young children. Otherwise purebreds are great (if you find a good breeder) if you have certain qualities or trait preference, whther it be temperament, or physical.

  31. #31 Danny Bloom
    August 12, 2008

    An email correspondent told me:

    “Danny,
    I agree that Ms. McKinney isn’t a credible source, but the clones could still be real. A confirming test would be more convincing if a group from another University were to do the work and test the puppies. But there isn’t any evidence to say that the scientists are lying.
    I agree that RNL has a motive for proving success. But, it’s possible that they believed Ms. McKinney’s story and thought that she’d be a good spokesperson. I’m sure they’re regretting that choice.”

  32. #32 Danny Bloom
    August 12, 2008

    Hi Jennifer

    Do blog on my reactions here, ask your readers what they think of my HYPOTHESIS, pro or con?

    danny

    I am doing research on this *fake* cloning Booger story. Ms McKinney is
    a serial liar. she lied about being a screen writer, she lied about
    teaching drama “at several US colleges, she lied at first about being
    the Mormon rapist, and did you know she did not have to pay full
    150,0o0 USD fee, reduced to just 50,000 for her, because she HELPED
    OUT with publicity, according to the lab. read between the lines,
    those dogs were not cloned from booger’s dna, they are just normal
    puppies, cute as hell, but we been had by a serial liar. i am looking
    into this. it’s funny, and sad. WATCH THIS STORY IMPLODE…..

    Comment by danny bloom — August 12, 2008 @ 5:18 am

    RNL Bio charges up to $150,000 for dog cloning but will receive just a
    third of that sum from McKinney because she is the first customer and
    helped with publicity, said company head Ra Jeong-chan.

    ****smoking gun……HELPED WITH PR.,……see!

    Comment by danny bloom — August 12, 2008 @ 5:18 am

    this story from Korea was in JUNE, notice the first sentence qualifier
    in the photo “CLAIMED TO BE” CLONED DOGS

    danny

    http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/tech/2008/06/133_25184.html

    Three claimed-to-be clones of a family dog Missy, produced in between
    December 2007 and April 2008 by Hwang Woo-suk.

    Comment by danny bloom — August 12, 2008 @ 5:18 am

  33. #33 Danny Bloom
    August 12, 2008

    wow, Jennifer you found the SMOKING GUN. this explains it all. book idea, book deal, free publicity, famous for 15 minutes, a movie, yes….BUT IT WONT WORK THIS TIME

    RE:

    3. ‘Bernann’ sold her house and spent $50K to clone her dog so she could sell a book and a movie based on Boogie/Cloned Boogies. Shes going to use the money she makes to open a ‘school’ for training therapy dogs in memory of Boogie.

    … she’s preparing to offer book and movie deal. “I hope to sell the rights and have a place called Booger’s Place, which would be his legacy, a training center for service dogs for handicapped people,” she told Morales.

  34. #34 Yoo
    August 15, 2008

    Small update: for some reason, McKinney left South Korea without taking any of the cloned dogs.

    BTW, I don’t see much reason for RNL to be perpetrating a fraud. It’s not like cloning a dog is an unprecedented feat that would incredibly difficult to achieve today.

  35. #35 danny
    August 21, 2008

    Yoo,
    YES. for SOME reason. I wonder what that reason was?

    Could it be that she did not have funds to ship them back home? Or what? I am flummoxed.

    American woman who cloned dog leaves South Korea without pups
    6 days ago

    SEOUL, South Korea — The American woman who made global headlines for commissioning clones of her favourite pet dog has left South Korea without the puppies.

    Bernann McKinney was in South Korea this month to see the five dogs duplicated from her dead pitbull Booger by Seoul-based RNL Bio.

    But the publicity led to her being identified as a woman who faced charges in the 1970s of abduction and unlawful imprisonment of a Mormon missionary in Britain.

    Kim Yoon, a spokeswoman for RNL Bio, said McKinney left South Korea last week to go back to the United States as scheduled and did not take the puppies.

    Kim said she did not know whether McKinney would return to collect the animals

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