Culling a Threat to Our Liberty


Manatees may be reclassified as threatened; they are currently listed as endangered. Any good patriot will recognize this as a smart move to defend our safety. If we can stop them before they reach the northeast United States, some of us may be able to maintain our way of life.

Shelley disagrees. She thinks the state of Florida needs to protect these anti-American beasts. I think Shelley is living in the state of denial, along with Jacob. Florida must do everything to ensure to manatees remain down there. Because we’re fighting them down there so that we don’t have to fight them up here. If it takes a few propeller blades to ensure the manatees don’t attack Maryland, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, New York and the rest of the northeast, then I say bring on the boaters. You gotta break a few eggs if you want to make an omelet. Or scrambled eggs. Or French freedom toast.

Addendum: We can add Greg Laden to the list of enablers.


  1. #1 afarensis
    April 9, 2007

    Um, not to be a party pooper or anything, but if we kept them down there where would the crabs go?

  2. #2 bigTom
    April 10, 2007

    Thanks to global warming our traditional cold-water defenses are now useless. Million$ to fight them down there before they invade the rest of the country!

  3. #3 Bob O'H
    April 10, 2007

    You know, I always thought the propeller thing was rather convenient. Just chug around in your boat, and the steaks float to the surface pre-butchered.

    Unfortunately, there aren’t any manatees in the Gulf of Finland. So we have to make do with seals.


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