Manatees may be reclassified as threatened; they are currently listed as endangered. Any good patriot will recognize this as a smart move to defend our safety. If we can stop them before they reach the northeast United States, some of us may be able to maintain our way of life.

Shelley disagrees. She thinks the state of Florida needs to protect these anti-American beasts. I think Shelley is living in the state of denial, along with Jacob. Florida must do everything to ensure to manatees remain down there. Because we’re fighting them down there so that we don’t have to fight them up here. If it takes a few propeller blades to ensure the manatees don’t attack Maryland, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Delaware, New York and the rest of the northeast, then I say bring on the boaters. You gotta break a few eggs if you want to make an omelet. Or scrambled eggs. Or French freedom toast.

Addendum: We can add Greg Laden to the list of enablers.