There once was a librarian who was an absolute horror, a bitch, a true shit of a person. Her name was Nancy. No one liked her, she liked no one else. Her employees suffered greatly, and the only people who could work with her for more than a few months were Morris and Igor (assumed names) because they were like her. One day an employee who was receiving chemotherapy once a week informed Nancy that she had to start taking chemo twice a week. Nancy fired her on the spot. That was what it was like every day working for her, but because she kept the library running very nicely, her superiors would not listen to the employees or anyone else, and she kept her stranglehold on that library and her stranglehold on the people who worked there for years and years and years.

Then one day she accidentally called her boss’s wife a bitch while he was in ear shot. Ooops. She was gone by the end of the week. There was dancing in the street. Dancing. Seriously.

Once there was a guy named Ben Stein, who made a movie…

He made the movie by inviting famous scientists and evolution supporters to be interviewed, indicating that this was to be a movie exploring the evolution-creationism controversy. Many agreed to be interviewed. But the movie was not about what they said it was about. It was meant to be, instead, a farcical satire railing against evolution. People’s interviews were mangled, their words taken out of context, and the truth they tried to tell was used against them.

When the movie was being shown among the Christians who do not believe in Evolution, in “private” showings around the country (to which everybody seems to have been invited), a man named PZ Myers, who this Ben Stein fellow feared and hated, was spotted in the line going into the theater. PZ was removed from the vicinity by jack booted thugs because Ben Stein and the makers of this movie did not want any of the people who’s words they had mangled to see the movie.

But this was a mistake because there were many, many people in the same line that same evening waiting to see that same movie, including the world’s most famous biologist. They Pulled PZ out of line, but they let the world’s most famous biologist, PZ’s family, several science supporters including at least one science blogger in.

In this way the world got to hear Ben Stein call every rational free thinking concerned science supporting citizen in the world a bitch. We heard it.

He’s fired.

Within 24 hours the embarrassing episode was being covered in major news outlets, and of course the blogosphere was a buzz. By the time you read this, producers and money changers who are involved in this movie will have pulled out their support. They’ll get mad at Ben Stein for totally fucking up their investment, and they’ll start calling their lawyers. Don’t be surprised if you don’t ever get to see the movie Expelled!

It’s over.


(Hey, it could happen….)

Comments

  1. #1 Serena
    March 21, 2008

    Rather, it should happen.

  2. #2 PalMD
    March 21, 2008

    You just ruined my evening. I actually believed you. Now I have to waste more good Scotch.

  3. #3 paul01
    March 22, 2008

    Now Stein will have to go back on Jimmy Kimmel. But don’t worry. Kimmel will keep him talking about other things for as long as he can.

  4. #4 Christie
    March 22, 2008

    Such a lovely dream.

  5. #5 Ahcuah
    March 22, 2008

    I notice that the NY Times article was one of those typical cop-outs. Instead of determining the facts, it instead was just the he-said/she-said kind of piece that passes for “journalism” these days.

  6. #6 jjberg
    March 22, 2008

    it may have been a “he said, she said” article, but the thing is that what the creationists said still leaves them looking so ridiculous that the atheists come out looking better in the “fair and unbiased” article, which is saying something, cause, well, they’re atheists

  7. #7 mark
    March 22, 2008

    NY Times he-said/she-said — And just a few posts down, we read how writers in the Florida papers have gotten wise to the anti-evolution bullshit, and forego the he/she-saids.

  8. #8 Anne Gilbert
    March 22, 2008

    I don’t know what’s going to happen to this movie. But I do know it’s taken quite a long time for news media to get wise to what these anti-evolution people are doing. I’ve seen some quite laudatory articles about the “Intelligent Design” movement. But that was before it began falling apart over things like the Dover trial. And now this. . . .
    Anne G

  9. #9 Scott Hatfield, OM
    March 24, 2008

    Shameless promotion of my own blog, but a topic of interest:

    I’m getting lots of interesting comments from visitors to my site, which suggest that the bad publicity over the PZ’s ‘expulsion’ has led the ‘Expelled’ people to cancel further screenings. You can read about that here.

    Now, as for Mr. Nisbet, I posted the following at his site:

    “Matt, you are just so wrong on this point that I, a theist, have to say so.

    Look: it makes believers like me uncomfortable to see the tenets of our faith challenged by those who would wield unpleasant facts from the natural world. I don’t care for everything PZ or Dr. D says, obviously. We have our differences!

    But that doesn’t make the unpleasant facts any less factual. The most recent contretemps isn’t even about science, Matt. It’s about truth-telling. PZ and Dr. D were LIED to. If they don’t have a right to challenge the mendacity of Stein, Mathis and Company, who does? Essentially, your position tilts the playing field in favor of the lying creationist over the impolitic, but honest critic of creationism. That’s just not going to fly. I have to say that I’m with Randy Olson, who has a lot of ‘on-the-ground’ experience observing the creationists. Randy, addressing you, writes:

    Matt – You’re dreaming. If there was an official Evolution Defense Team with a command headquarters, huge budget, and army of strategists standing around a map table covered with model tanks and airplanes then yes, the rogue actions of PZ and Dawkins would be bad news. But there ain’t.

    The large organizations don’t want to get involved with the real politics of defending evolution, and there is no coordinated effort other than producing lots of brochures and editorials. There is a need for the occasional individual efforts. You talk like there’s a science to all this stuff, and there is to a limited extent, and you’re good when you’re speaking to that. But you need to get out on the streets a little more and realize there are some non-ivory tower dyanmics to this issue that have to be addressed in less academic ways. PZ is to be commended for having brought a human dimension to what is generally perceived by broader audiences as a relatively dull academic issue.

    To which I simply add, right on.”

  10. #10 Michael
    April 6, 2008

    PZ was blogging on how he was going to “laugh loudly” every time he saw himself on the big screen. This conduct is disruptive. He was also observed being very aggressive making his way through the line and annoyed a few people in the process. He did leave peacefully.

    PZ who hasn’t seen the whole production yet, can still make his critical review, but he’ll have to buy a ticket or someone will have to give him one…lol…

    Interesting quote, as that person who has never seen the production is making false accusations about the content. Whether you agree with the movie or not, it’s better to see the whole production first, then make a review about it.

  11. #11 paiwan
    April 6, 2008

    Both for scientists and faith seekers, two disciplines are very critical; least assertive, least self-righteous.

    Unfortunately, on the show in the United States; the above two items are in poor quality.

    What are wrong with Americans? Do they need to follow European tract? Americans deserve to have their unique path to achieve their vibrant culture. Forget the old civilization and create your own, please.

  12. #12 sylvia
    September 28, 2008

    I always knew i didnt like Ben Stein, but was forever trying to find a way around it because he was so intelligent…seemingly…something is missing from that man’s mind. Can somebody please do a psych history on this guy and find out what traumas made him such an ass??

  13. #13 sylvia
    September 28, 2008

    I always knew i didnt like Ben Stein, but was forever trying to find a way around it because he was so intelligent…seemingly…something is missing from that man’s mind. Can somebody please do a psych history on this guy and find out what traumas made him such an ass?? Grow up Ben.

  14. #14 clinteas
    September 28, 2008

    sylvia,

    you should move your clock forward about 6 months,methinks.

  15. #15 Proud2b
    February 23, 2009

    This is quite funny actually, like the Professors w/ tenure who were fired for mentioning a counter point. Making plans to pull this Movie, while giving no account Doc. like the ones [Al the leftist Gore] and [I hate America Michael Moore] AWARDS.
    These documentaries while excepted by average 100-110 IQ Joe are laughable attempts at serious & factual stories & have more holes than Swiss cheese. The IDEA that a HYPOTHESIS OR THEORY goes deliberately uncontested shows how CLOSED MINDED THEY REALLY ARE. Huge holes appear in EVOLUTION that they do not address but refuse to questioned. Doesn’t our youth have the right to hear both sides & make up their own minds. One hand clapping science means they have an agenda and are trying to push it through no questions asked, and they try t portray CHRISTIANS to be the closed & simple mind group.

    God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that we may have everlasting life.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

  16. #16 proud2b
    February 23, 2009

    I’m compelled to make one small additions to my comment.

    How can a country like America who has a 85% plus population who believes in God, seem so STRONGLY AND HATEFULLY apposed to a [Intelligent Design] documentary? I know the Democrats send groups the ACLU billions [3 billion this last bill passed], but how did we allow them this kind of power over the majesties. Apathy maybe? We need to ponder this.

  17. #17 Stephanie Z
    February 23, 2009

    Are you sure that’s not everlasting commas?

  18. #18 Sven DiMilo
    February 23, 2009

    That’s one small additions for [a] man;
    One huge hole for mankind.

  19. #19 the real Yeshua Ha Noze-ring
    February 23, 2009

    Proud2be: one note about your assertion “God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that we may have everlasting life.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,”

    If G-d gave everlasting life, why does your rhetorical equation END with a period, followed by so many commas?

    In literal terms, it appears that “life ends[.] folowed by 19 or so [,] commas, which can only lead the casual observer to the conclusion that purgatory [yours?] contains 19 or so pauses that will cause G-d to reflect upon granting [you] everlasting life. Is that the way it will be for all of us, all of those damned commas after we end?

Current ye@r *