Daemonic underground gasses exploded to the surface in a fiery fireball in South Minneapolis today, blasting a huge hole in a parking lot, causing several cars to meltdown, and potentially damaging a newly rebuilt section of God’s Highway (I35 W).1 The news agencies noticed it when checking the traffic cameras for their local traffic report.

Local Minneapolitonians: This was on 60thE and Nicollet, near the Crosstown Junction. Route 62, closed for a time, is reopened, but as of this writing, 35 W is closed both North and South as they are checking for damage. Of the just moments ago rebuilt nightmarish intersection from hell. Somehow it all fits together.


(do watch at least through the middle!)

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1Not the part that fell into the River a few years ago.

Comments

  1. #1 cairne.morane
    March 17, 2011

    Looks bad. I recommend a 50 mile evacuation zone.

  2. #2 Ken
    March 17, 2011

    I hope no one was hurt.

    As for the situation, I rate it a 1.5374 on a scale that goes from -0.6 up to Pi. While the containment cover was obviously breached, the IR radiation levels at a 15km distance are not significantly above what you would normally receive on a typical March day in Minneapolis.

    So don’t panic! The breach is minimal and once the helicopters return from Japan it will be fully under control.

  3. #3 Stephanie Z
    March 17, 2011

    Actually, Ken, the IR radiation levels are quite elevated even 15km away. However, that’s due to another rare event. The amount added by the explosion is unnoticeable.

  4. #4 Greg Laden
    March 17, 2011

    That rare event being that the sun came out? And it was warm enough to not be covered in flannel, down, and gortex?

  5. #5 Ken
    March 17, 2011

    Thanks for the updated info. Not being on-site, I am, of course, coming to firm undeniable expert conclusions based only upon what I can see from a shaky video of the event and partial descriptions of others who are also not at the scene.

    I don’t understand how could I have been mistaken.

  6. #6 Stephanie Z
    March 17, 2011

    In March!!! (Okay, so it’s only moderately rare. Consider my memory warped by aching joints.)

  7. #7 NewEnglandBob
    March 17, 2011

    I rate it a 796 on a scale of 309 to 832.

    Oh wait, thats my credit rating.

    ….never mind.

  8. #8 pyro
    March 17, 2011

    It’s beautiful.

  9. #9 Stephen Moore
    March 17, 2011

    Wow! That sure was one powerful explosion. For the purpose of a good yarn, I shall presume that car in the exterior wall of the shop was the result of the explosion.

  10. #10 Greg Laden
    March 17, 2011

    Stephen: LOL. Every car stuck in the front of a building has a great story behind it. It’s actually a South Minneapolis tradition. The place is littered with cars and trucks stuck in things.