Getting to the bottom of reflexology

Reflexology, as you may know, is the pseudoscientific “alternative medicine” modality whose central dogma is that each body part or organ maps to a certain place on the feet or hands and that by pressing on those locations on the feet (for example), the reflexologist can have a therapeutic effect. The question, however, is: Why the feet? I mean, why not other parts of the body? For example, there’s a part of the body that’s larger than the feet, and mapping different parts of the body to it makes just as much sense as mapping them to the feet. I’m referring to butt reflexology (warning: mildly not safe for work):


I think the above diagram makes as much sense as any reflexology chart, don’t you?

(For a fuller explanation, click on the picture.)

As the discoverer of the power of butt reflexology puts it: “The end justifies the means.”


  1. #1 Niobe
    March 17, 2007

    That explains a whole lot of sports related copping.

  2. #2 Colugo
    March 17, 2007

    Makes sense to me! After all, it’s not too far from the enteric nervous system AKA the “gut’s brain.”

    (I jest.)

  3. #3 Zeno
    March 17, 2007

    This has me extremely worried! Could parents who spank their children now be convicted of practicing medicine without a license?

    Too scary!

  4. #4 Scott Belyea
    March 17, 2007

    Mildly kinky sex combined with effective medical treatment! Can you beat that?

    No, let me put that another way …

  5. #5 Al Kline DPM
    March 17, 2007

    I have the low-down on Reflexology. Read on . . .

  6. #6 Tanta
    March 17, 2007

    So does this mean that if you’re a pain in the ass, you get to claim that you’re really just a pain in the neck?

  7. #7 EoR
    March 17, 2007

    Are you saying buttockology doesn’t work? Bummer.

  8. #8 Blatherskite
    March 18, 2007

    Glad some one finally pulled their finger out and got to the bottom of this.

    But what happens when we sit down?

    And will this be the end of the matter?

  9. #9 Joe
    March 18, 2007

    I inspected the chart closely and it seems incomplete. Specifically, if I have a pain in my butt- where does one press?

  10. #10 obscurifer
    March 18, 2007

    Not to be too morbid, but I’d like to see someone without feet go into a reflexologist’s office for treatment. I wonder if they have an emergency back-end, um, back-up treatment.

    [ducks and runs from the room]

  11. #11 #1 Dinosaur
    March 18, 2007

    I say practice some complementary (instead of alternative) medicine. Combine the modalities of foot and butt reflexology:

    I have many patients who would greatly benefit from a swift kick in the butt.

  12. #12 Blatherskite
    March 18, 2007

    “I have many patients who would greatly benefit from a swift kick in the butt.”

    I could say the same about many clinicians I have dealt with over the decades, both professionally (medical engineering) and as a patient.

  13. #13 Antiquated Tory
    March 19, 2007

    All of these reflexologies–hand, foot and butt–still manage to make more sense than the earlobe people. It’s a lump of skin-covered cartilege with a handful of sensory nerves and so little blood flow that you can poke multiple holes through it without doing much of anything! Obviously it maps the entire body!

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