Reflexology, as you may know, is the pseudoscientific "alternative medicine" modality whose central dogma is that each body part or organ maps to a certain place on the feet or hands and that by pressing on those locations on the feet (for example), the reflexologist can have a therapeutic effect. The question, however, is: Why the feet? I mean, why not other parts of the body? For example, there's a part of the body that's larger than the feet, and mapping different parts of the body to it makes just as much sense as mapping them to the feet. I'm referring to butt reflexology (warning: mildly not safe for work):
I think the above diagram makes as much sense as any reflexology chart, don't you?
(For a fuller explanation, click on the picture.)
As the discoverer of the power of butt reflexology puts it: "The end justifies the means."
That explains a whole lot of sports related copping.
Makes sense to me! After all, it's not too far from the enteric nervous system AKA the "gut's brain."
This has me extremely worried! Could parents who spank their children now be convicted of practicing medicine without a license?
Mildly kinky sex combined with effective medical treatment! Can you beat that?
No, let me put that another way ...
I have the low-down on Reflexology. Read on . . .
So does this mean that if you're a pain in the ass, you get to claim that you're really just a pain in the neck?
Are you saying buttockology doesn't work? Bummer.
Glad some one finally pulled their finger out and got to the bottom of this.
But what happens when we sit down?
And will this be the end of the matter?
I inspected the chart closely and it seems incomplete. Specifically, if I have a pain in my butt- where does one press?
Not to be too morbid, but I'd like to see someone without feet go into a reflexologist's office for treatment. I wonder if they have an emergency back-end, um, back-up treatment.
[ducks and runs from the room]
I say practice some complementary (instead of alternative) medicine. Combine the modalities of foot and butt reflexology:
I have many patients who would greatly benefit from a swift kick in the butt.
"I have many patients who would greatly benefit from a swift kick in the butt."
I could say the same about many clinicians I have dealt with over the decades, both professionally (medical engineering) and as a patient.
All of these reflexologies--hand, foot and butt--still manage to make more sense than the earlobe people. It's a lump of skin-covered cartilege with a handful of sensory nerves and so little blood flow that you can poke multiple holes through it without doing much of anything! Obviously it maps the entire body!