Omni Brain

Remote Control Pigeons (of doom)

i-1a06631c64388796eb148f6852191b84-pigeon.jpgThere are all sorts of remote control rodents and cockroaches out there now – but I guess they’ve stepped it up a notch and created a remote control flying rodent cockroach hybrid (also known as the common pigeon). Now, not only can they control in which direction the pigeon flies, they can also control when it releases its little whitish projectile. Researchers say they are working on a laser guided shit release system and hope to have it installed in the next version of the robotic mind controlled shitting pigeon machine.

Scientists in eastern China say they have succeeded in controlling the flight of pigeons with micro electrodes planted in their brains, state media reported on Tuesday.

Scientists at the Robot Engineering Technology Research Centre at Shandong University of Science and Technology said their electrodes could command them to fly right or left or up or down, Xinhua news agency said.

“The implants stimulate different areas of the pigeon’s brain, according to signals sent by the scientists via computer and force the bird to comply with their commands,” Xinhua said.


Researchers were caught in NYC messing with poor tourists from the midwest by sending red eyed rabid looking pigeons walking after them. A man from we’re assuming was from Wichita Kansas or somewhere similar was seen running right back into Penn Station to get back onto his train to take him back home. Of course that could have been any one of a number of crazies that hang around the train station. On the other hand…Perhaps pigeons do this creepy stuff on their own. Ok never mind – perhaps it isn’t a pigeon mind control conspiracy.

Or is it…

What would you do with a remote control pigeon?


  1. #1 Metro
    February 27, 2007

    Well, Stephen Harper has to have a press conference sometime …

    Sorry, I meant “a PR consultation and briefing”.

  2. #2 Cruz
    February 27, 2007

    Well, the Homing Pigeon from Worms comes to mind…

  3. #3 mustikos
    February 28, 2007

    save the world; control them to poop in the eyes of the world’s leader and peck peace into their forehead

  4. #4 Bill
    February 28, 2007

    How did the eastern Chinese pigeons end up in Trafalgar Square?

  5. #5 steve
    February 28, 2007

    they are remote control! duh! hahaha

  6. #6 Jonathan
    March 1, 2007

    Like all scientists around the world, this bunch dont care much for life. They are renowned for eating, butchering, probing anything that moves or swims; in particular, they love hurting inoccent, hungry creatures that share this earth with us (at their peril).

    Scientists do this sort of experimentation in the name of research and for the good of humanity; but, they don’t appear to have any objective or goal in mind for their mindless experimentation, arguing instead that killing thousands and even millions of creatures is worth it, just to save one human child! I ask you, what sort of hogwash is that?

    There are thousands today who suffer all around the world because of lack of water, food and clothing – this is where the money and research should be spent, and not on fat research budgets that line the jackets of the greedy and cruel!

    Finally, because these people hack me off – I just wish some alien race would land on Earth, preferably in their back yard, and stick pieces of metal in their brains. What we would have then is walking, talking robotic scientists – and that would be interesting indeed!!

  7. #7 John
    March 2, 2007

    Seriously Jonathon… if you were dying, I’m sure you wouldn’t care if they had to kill a million rats to cure your ailment. You need to get in the modern age of things.

  8. #8 petersteel
    December 29, 2009

    that was really nice to read that.. that was really nice to read that.. that was really great information.. great job…

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