My sweet lord

Bill Donohue is hopping mad again — he’s got another wild hare up his butt and is fuming over another insult to his very Catholic sensibilities:

Catholic League head Bill Donohue called it “one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever”.


The latest affront is a life-size sculpture of a naked man on a cross, made out of 200 pounds of chocolate, on display in New York just in time for Easter.

Come on, Bill, get over it. Shouldn’t Abu Ghraib have been “one of the worst assaults on Christian sensibilities ever”? How about the injustice of our war in the Iraq? What about the ongoing denial of civil rights to homosexuals? There are a lot of horrors in the world that might prompt a good Christian man to unleash his righteous fury, but a giant chocolate Jesus really isn’t one of them.

Besides, the only real dilemma here is which piece you’re going to start nibbling on first.


Aww, somebody already ate the big bunny ears!


  1. #1 Blake Stacey, OM
    March 30, 2007

    Damn the Internet for making all of my jokes first! About all I have left is a memory of Bill Hicks’s Rant in E-Minor.

    I was over in Australia during Easter. It was interesting to note they celebrate Easter the same way we do — commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit. . . left chocolate eggs in the night.

    I wonder why we’re fucked up as a race.

    You know, I’ve read the Bible. I can’t find the words “bunny” or “chocolate” anywhere in the fucking book. Where do you come up with this shit? Why those two things? Why not “Goldfish left Lincoln Logs in your sock drawer”? As long as we’re making shit up, go hog wild. At least a goldfish with a Lincoln Log on its back crawling across your floor to your sock drawer has a miraculous connotation to it!

  2. #2 Blake Stacey, OM
    March 30, 2007

    You know, I’ve been looking for an excuse to visit New York, but Tim Gueguen has a point. I might be more in the market for bite-sized Chocolate Jesus figurines. Little. . . figurines. . . with their tiny. . . little. . . heads. . . {chomp) (mmrrgf) (mmmmm).

  3. #3 Blake Stacey, OM
    March 30, 2007

    No no no, it’s Adam who didn’t have a navel. Jesus was conceived by God-sperm but gestated inside a young woman’s womb. He didn’t pop out of God’s thigh like a Jewish Dionysus, you know.

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