Pharyngula

Bill O’Reilly is a big fat idiot

Forgive me if this amazing tale of ego and inanity makes you recoil in disgust.

And O’Reilly cites himself as proof there is a God:

“Next time you meet an atheist, tell him or her that you know a bold, fresh guy, a barbarian who was raised in a working-class home and retains the lessons he learned there.

“Then mention to that atheist that this guy is now watched and listened to, on a daily basis, by millions of people all over the world and, to boot, sells millions of books.

“Then, while the non-believer is digesting all that, ask him or her if they still don’t believe there’s a God!”

Mmm-kay. Let’s see…do I still believe there is no god? Let me ponder on it.

I think…no. Definitely not.

Was that exercise in pomposity supposed to persuade me?

Comments

  1. #1 cyan
    October 1, 2008

    Yes, it was. In a monstrously egocentric way. What an example of existentialism.

    And totally ineffective as a rational way of thinking.

  2. #2 Geoffrey of Ballard
    October 1, 2008

    The only way this makes any sense is if Bill O’Reilly thinks that he himself is god.

  3. #3 Loki
    October 1, 2008

    Doesn’t sound too different from the usual reasons for God, tbh.

  4. #4 Escuerd
    October 1, 2008

    Geoffrey of Ballard @ #2:

    Perhaps he left it deliberately ambiguous.

  5. #5 Cranapple
    October 1, 2008

    I don’t know about God, but it might have some relevance to the existence of Satan, if Satan’s goal is really to contribute to mass ignorance and bigotry.

  6. #6 the petey
    October 1, 2008

    this is proof there is no god,
    and that there is no justice.

  7. #7 catta
    October 1, 2008

    “All over the world”? Yes, I can confirm that. The rest of the world watches O’Reilly clips on the internet because he’s just made for pointing and laughing. It’s a wonderful arrangement. Since that level of pompous self-importance and ignorance would get him laughed off the air very, very quickly anywhere other than at FOX, we can seek him out for a quick fix of bewildered laughter, slight amusement or outrage and then ignore him again. So in that sense… yeah, he is watched by millions of people all over the world. What’s that lovely word he likes using so very, very much? Oh, yeah.
    Pinhead.

  8. #8 Ichthyic
    October 1, 2008

    Bill O’Reilly is a big fat idiot

    seriously, the merely obvious is sufficient.

    no need to insult us all with the blatantly obvious.

  9. #9 S.Scott
    October 1, 2008

    OK – this is shameless self promotion, but entirely fitting … PZ wins the presidency!

    http://car54.wordpress.com/2008/10/01/and-the-winner-is-drum-roll-pz-myers/

  10. #10 qedpro
    October 1, 2008

    what a douchebag.

    BillO fails to realize that he’s actually proof there is no god. I mean this is just an example of scum rising to the top of the pond.

  11. #11 Glen Davidson
    October 1, 2008

    It sure is an attempt at justifying getting rich by bullshitting.

    Throw in some of the other predatory ways of getting money and power, and you have most of what has shaped Western religion since the time of Israel.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7

  12. #12 Clintsc9
    October 1, 2008

    Any god worth its commandments would have smote idiots like that long ago.
    So his existence is further evidence of there being no god.

  13. #13 AJ Milne
    October 1, 2008

    I don’t know about God, but it might have some relevance to the existence of Satan…

    There’s a bit from some Rushdie book this reminded me of, for some odd reason. They ask some occult mechanism–Ouija board or some cultural equivalent–if there’s a god. It sits there. They ask it if there’s a devil. Things get lively…

    Anyway, so if I understand this correctly, the question is: If a really rather thick, pushy obnoxious jerk with a hilariously inflated opinion of himself and a penchant for blatant dishonesty can have a massive and fawning following, isn’t this proof of the existence of a god?

    Umm… Is this a trick question?

  14. #14 Kel
    October 1, 2008

    *head asplodes*

    Surely he’s got to be joking there.

  15. #15 Blake Stacey
    October 1, 2008

    Book sales are proof that you’re favoured by God?

    That’s one way to make Richard Dawkins laugh all the way to the bank.

  16. #16 Richard from Red Deer
    October 1, 2008

    Bill O’Reilley 5 miilion in book sales is a prime example of P.T Barnum’s edict “There’s a sucker born every minute”.

    So this means that O’Reilly has established almost 10 years worth of suckers. Surely for an Irishman of his calibre an extraordinary feat.Take bow Bill.

  17. #17 Shaden Freud
    October 1, 2008

    Wow, I thought Fergie was bad.

  18. #18 LanceR
    October 1, 2008

    Oh! The argument from (false) authority! Gosh! I’m convinced! From now on, you will all refer to me as…

    …Kenny!

    *just kidding. Put down the rocks, people. Just a little fun… crap.

  19. #19 Aquaria
    October 1, 2008

    Wow, Bill, not only is it Logic: UR doin it wrong, but also Honesty: UR doin it wrong.

  20. #20 Kutsuwamushi
    October 1, 2008

    “Right now, while you were bragging about yourself, a child died of malaria. So…no.”

  21. #21 chancelikely
    October 1, 2008

    That sets a new record for me.

    That’s actually the least convincing argument for a deity I’ve ever heard.

  22. #22 Derek
    October 1, 2008

    The next time you meet an atheist, you tell that jibbering commie that his neighbor is making macaroni and cheese! Yeah! If that doesn’t convince him of the existence of God then you tell him that somewhere in the world there is a lady with the sniffles, and had to tough it out at work. She answered some E-mails, drank some coffee, and then took a little potty break around 3:27. She toughed it out and now she’s feeling much better. She is also stopping by the grocery store to pick up some milk.

    Yeah… take that you ‘effin atheist! I bet you believe in God now, don’t you? Grovel, you swine!

    (Seriously, Bill… you need a helmet.)

  23. #23 Left_Wing_Fox
    October 1, 2008

    The correct reply would be “Oh, you mean Keith Olbermann?”

  24. #24 SC
    October 1, 2008

    This argument probably makes perfect sense to the large numbers of Americans suckled on the Gospel of Prosperity.

  25. #25 Rey Fox
    October 1, 2008

    I think Falafel Man might have missed that part about the meek inheriting the Earth.

  26. #26 Interrobang
    October 1, 2008

    So, uh, it takes the intervention of a deity for an able-bodied white man who spouts the powerbrokers’ conventional wisdom to become rich and successful? Who knew?

    On the other hand, maybe O’Reilly thinks Richard Mellon Scaife is God.

  27. #27 Aquaria
    October 1, 2008

    Of course, no thread about O’Reilly is complete without reminding everyone that he doesn’t get just honesty and logic wrong, it’s also Loofah: UR doin it wrong, Phone Sex: UR doin it wrong and Gratuitous Oral Sex Scene in really bad novel: UR doin it wrong.

  28. #28 Glen Davidson
    October 1, 2008

    Quite seriously, in all of his hubris and gloating, O’Reilly does reveal a lot of the mentality of religion there.

    It’s a combination of the need to (at least half-) believe that he “deserves” what he has, plus the legitimate sense that nothing about him and his background really explains his success. Look, he has some talent, and a lot of the bluster that gets many far, but he’s not where he is today because he’s very knowledgeable, let alone very often correct.

    Most of us with his success would credit luck for succeeding as grandly as he has. Luck, though, suggests that others might be deserving of such a bounty, and few are really willing to spread the wealth, especially if they can credit some divine being for giving it to them. True, most don’t really share the wealth regardless, but Bill is especially immune to any moral claims on his wealth, because God gave it to him.

    The fact is that O’Reilly has done what religionists have done throughout history, both “explained” what seems not to have sufficient cause (they don’t understand probabilities, is the main reason), and stated that they deserve what they have even so, through divine dispensation.

    In one sense, I wouldn’t be too hard on him for his egomaniacal self-justification, for probably most rich people have some sort of fictional justifications which aren’t much better. On the other hand, the sheer empirical dishonesty of it, and its societal consequences, are necessary to bring out on the social level, and for social reasons.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/2kxyc7

  29. #29 Ichthyic
    October 1, 2008

    The next time you meet an atheist, you tell that jibbering commie that his neighbor is making macaroni and cheese! Yeah!

    LOL

    I’m actually going to do that, just to see what kind of look appears on their face.

    I’ve got a few buddies locally who have a sense of humor, I still expect mostly blank looks though.

    :p

  30. #30 Nick Gotts
    October 1, 2008

    Who’s Bill O’Reilly?

  31. #31 Wowbagger
    October 1, 2008

    Known around the world? Well, I know who he is because I visit a lot of US-based sites on politics and the media, but I can honestly say that if you asked people on the street here in Australia if they knew who Bill O’Reilly was they’d only be saying yes if they thought the asker meant the cricket player.

    And if he is ‘known’ for anything it’s for being a blowhard, sack-of-shit, lying tool of the Right.

  32. #32 hexatron
    October 1, 2008

    Some shit sinks to the bottom.
    Some shit floats to the top.
    But it’s all just shit.

  33. #33 another
    October 1, 2008

    That clown should be grateful that there are no gods.

  34. #34 Kel
    October 1, 2008

    but I can honestly say that if you asked people on the street here in Australia if they knew who Bill O’Reilly was they’d only be saying yes if they thought the asker meant the cricket player.

    You’d hope they would know the cricker anyway. We’re slowly forgetting the greats of the game, at least he has a stand named after him at the SCG

  35. #35 Carlie
    October 1, 2008

    So, BillO is saying that he’s personally such a stupid schmuck that there’s no way in hell he’d be anything other than a janitor if not for the intervention of a higher power? Hm, almost has me convinced there…

  36. #36 ClandestineEnder
    October 1, 2008

    As vacuous as he is, he still can’t even get fundamentalism right. I think by “a god” he meant “my god”…

  37. #37 Nic Nicholson
    October 1, 2008

    “…who was raised in a working-class home and retains the lessons he learned there.”

    So tell us Bill, how did it feel to be groomed and indoctrinated into a religious cult? In your case, I guess it took.

    Oh well…

  38. #38 Doubting Foo
    October 1, 2008

    Did God tell him where to stick the falafel?

  39. #39 Michael
    October 1, 2008

    the best part is he’s in effect saying that he’s such a poor broadcaster that it’s a miracle he’s so successful

  40. #40 DominEditrix
    October 1, 2008

    Um, Billy, how do you then explain the waaaaay higher book sales of the Harry Potter series? Y’know, the one the fundies have hysterics about because they “promote witchcraft” and “lead children to Satan”? The ones that made their creator, formerly a single mother on the dole, into one of the the richest women in the UK?

  41. #41 Jadehawk
    October 1, 2008

    I’m not sure if I agree more with geoffrey in #2 or glen in #28, but either way: a comment like that would render me speechless, while I try to figure out if i missed something in the speech that would have any relevance to theism.

    does… not… compute…

  42. #42 The Cheerful Nihilist
    October 1, 2008

    I see from the earlier thread about YouTube taking down the cracker videos that they have put them back up. Guess what else is still hanging around?

    Yup, yer boy BillO!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tJjNVVwRCY

    What a freak! Makes Pete Rooke sound rational. Well, makes Pete sound calm.

  43. #43 AnonCoward23
    October 1, 2008

    Shouldn’t your anwer be “Yes”, not “No”? As in “Yes, I still believe there is no god.”?
    I’m really frustrated by this illogical affirmative “no” to negative questions.
    And likewise, by putting punctuation that belongs to the outer scope into the quotes. Like “‘Yes, ‘ he said”, while it cleary should be “‘Yes’, he said”. He didn’t speak the comma, it belongs to the outer scope. It’s more glaring when it’s a quote from a written piece, but I can’t think of an example right now.

  44. #44 shonny
    October 1, 2008

    Since that o’reilly critter is suffering from an advanced stage of rabies, shouldn’t someone put him out of his misery?
    Or at least quarantine him?
    It seems to be a kind of rabies that is transmitted through TV broadcasting, so expect more outbreaks.

  45. #45 Paper Hand
    October 1, 2008

    Nick Gotts @30:

    You don’t know how lucky you are to be able to ask that question.

  46. #46 ChrisC
    October 1, 2008

    I sell books and spout rightwing idiocy. Therefore god is.

    Descarts error becomes O’Rielly’s stupidity? What a difference a few centuries makes.

  47. #47 catta
    October 1, 2008

    the best part is he’s in effect saying that he’s such a poor broadcaster that it’s a miracle he’s so successful

    BillO is the Florence Foster Jenkins of Broadcasting (TM). I suspect that he’s “successful” because he’s awful at what he does. I don’t think the majority of his viewers watch him because they agree with him.

    How nice of god. Although, if O’Reilly ever realises that a huge number of people watch him the way they’d stare at a train wreck, would he still be all that grateful?

  48. #48 Timothy Wood
    October 1, 2008

    I think I remember reading something in “revalations” about the anti-christ being a mid-forties white catholic. hmm.

  49. Posted by: Nick Gotts | October 1, 2008 9:51 PM

    Who’s Bill O’Reilly?

    This is Bill. In early years but still the same guy.

    These days he’s taken his rage and ego and pointed it from a right wing pundit’s perspective. He’s famous for gaffs that show him for the blow hard he is.

  50. #50 Mike Haubrich, FCD
    October 1, 2008

    Bill doesn’t make me believe in God, if anything his success makes me believe in Cthulhu.

  51. #51 Timothy Wood
    October 1, 2008

    *fifties

  52. #52 Zar
    October 1, 2008

    Actually, he grew up in a middle-class suburban town. He wasn’t working class at all, unless you consider anyone with gainful employment “working class”. Of course, that would define pretty much everyone but Paris Hilton as working class.

  53. #53 tsg
    October 1, 2008

    Holy crap! How does he get through doorways with his head that big? Does he have a team of interns to help carry it for him? How does he keep from tipping over?

    Bill, you are just another self-important talking head with an asshole for a mouth and the only reason you are watched is because you tell people what they want to hear. I could do that but I’d have to undergo a consciencectomy first. And possibly a lobotomy.

  54. #54 Canuck
    October 1, 2008

    Bill O’Reilly is a sack of shit.

  55. #55 shonny
    October 1, 2008

    Posted by: Nick Gotts | October 1, 2008 9:51 PM
    Who’s Bill O’Reilly?

    More a question of ‘what’, – isn’t it, since we are dealing with a life-form that is a bloated hybrid of a cockroach and an earwig (cfr Blackadder).

  56. #56 Nasikabatrachus
    October 1, 2008

    Ah yes, the ontological proof via Bill O’Reilly.

    1. BillO only bloviates about the most perfect thing he can imagine
    2. God ensuring him book sales and a TV show is the most perfect thing BillO can imagine
    3. Existence is more perfect than non-existence
    4. From 3, If God did not exist and buy BillO’s books BillO would not bloviate about him
    5. BillO does bloviate about him, therefore

    Conclusion: God exists and he watches FOX news

    Do you STILL not believe in God?

  57. #57 YogaforCynics
    October 1, 2008

    Bill O’Reilly is proof that, if there is a God, he has a sick, twisted sense of humor….

  58. #58 Capital Dan
    October 1, 2008

    Bill O’Reilly may very well be the first person in history to use his résumé as proof of a higher power.

  59. #59 Chris (in Columbus)
    October 1, 2008

    Why can’t I be as humble? Maybe after 50 hail-marys I’ll be half as humble…

  60. #60 Ian H Spedding FCD
    October 1, 2008

    I don’t know about proof of God but he’s certainly proof that H L Mencken knew what he was talking about:

    No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.

  61. #61 SC
    October 1, 2008

    Bill O’Reilly is a sack of shit.

    And as Milan Kundera says in TULoB:

    The fact that until recently the word “shit” appeared in print as s— has nothing to do with moral considerations. You can’t claim that shit is immoral, after all! The objection to shit is a metaphysical one. The daily defecation session is daily proof of the unacceptability of Creation. Either/or: either shit is acceptable (in which case don’t lock yourself in the bathroom!) or we are created in an unacceptable manner.

    It follows, then, that the aesthetic ideal of the categorical agreement with being is a world in which shit is denied and everyone acts as though it did not exist. This aesthetic ideal is called kitsch.

    …kitsch is the absolute denial of shit, in both the literal and figurative senses of the word; kitsch excludes everything from its purview which is essentially unacceptable in human existence.

    So O’Reilly is evidence against a Creator. Only kitsch provides an escape.

  62. #62 Andy James
    October 1, 2008

    Stunning lack of depth, but thats no surprise considering the source. According to his proof, Hitler would be an even greater proof of God. So would Pauli Shore. Yikes.

  63. #63 Patricia
    October 1, 2008

    Nick Gotts – Who’s Bill O’Reilly?

    Dammit Nick – post a warning before you just haul that out.
    Now I have to clean up the keyboard, screen and blouse.

    He’s Big Bad Bills best “buddie” and head of the popes cheer leading squad. If his minions show up here it will be a killfile fest and at least a four thread slaughter.

  64. #64 lo-rez
    October 1, 2008

    god loves him some inside edition, apparently.

    oh and sexual harassment too

  65. #65 John C. Randolph
    October 1, 2008

    If there was a god, a hypocrite like Bill O’Reilly would be a smoking pile of ashes from multiple lightning strikes. QED.

    -jcr

  66. god loves him some inside edition, apparently.
    oh and sexual harassment too

    Loofah

  67. #67 Saint Gasoline
    October 1, 2008

    That’s odd, because by my reckoning a world in which a despicable person like Bill O’Reilly would become famous is more compatible with the nonexistence of a morally perfect God! This disproof of God is otherwise known as the ontoReillian disproof of God’s existence.

  68. #68 patrick
    October 1, 2008

    All i can muster is rofl.

  69. #69 SC
    October 1, 2008

    Loofah

    Ah! That’s what that reference is to! AKA “falafel thing,” evidently.

  70. #70 The Cheerful Nihilist
    October 1, 2008

    Well, here’s an explanation of
    BillO’s church.
    May explain some of his issues.

  71. Yeah

    Check #4

    Falafel is not a loofah Billy.

  72. #72 Rob
    October 1, 2008

    I’m convinced. And that just means that God has a sick since of humor.

  73. #73 The Cheerful Nihilist
    October 1, 2008

    I’ll try again.

    BillO’s church

    And since I see last months Molly winner here and 2 or 3 of this months nominees here, congrats to all. You’re all fabulous. (And if this doesn’t provide a link, why doncha help me out with the HREF= set-up? Huh?)

  74. [a href=”PUT YOUR LINKY HERE”]whatever text you want to be linked from[/a]

    replace the [ ] with the corresponding greater than or less than signs

  75. #75 TCN
    October 1, 2008
  76. #76 The Cheerful Nihilist
    October 1, 2008
    BillO’s church
  77. #77 Sastra
    October 2, 2008

    O’Reilly’s “argument” for the existence of God is so lame and self-aggrandizing that I suspect even he knows it’s nonsense. He’s making a joke. A lumbering joke.

    Later on, if any atheists email him and tell him his argument makes no sense, he will gleefully point out that atheists have no sense of humor, and don’t get satire or nuance.

    This looks like trolling. Or maybe I just hope it’s trolling.

    Methinks Derek in #22 wins the thread, though, for the apologetics which invoked the woman with the sniffles who toughed it out. Convinced me.

  78. #78 TNSCN
    October 2, 2008

    Rev. BigDumbChimp, KoT, OM

    Thanks for the help, and a banana for your patience, but I am an utter (uder) fool. I’m going to bed.

    If I ever figure this out, will it by chance show up in the “Preview” as a link?

  79. #79 Eric Paulsen
    October 2, 2008

    If Bill O’Rielly thinks that his popularity proves that there is a god, I’m guessing that god is one sick prick. He might as well have said that necrotizing fasciitis is an elegant proof of god.

  80. #80 Geral
    October 2, 2008

    After reading what O’Reilly said, I’m actually less convinced there is a God.

  81. #81 Hideki
    October 2, 2008

    Posted by: Rob | October 1, 2008 11:43 PM | #72
    >I’m convinced. And that just means that God has a sick since of humor.

    And when I die, I expect I’ll find him laughing…

  82. #82 Ick of the East
    October 2, 2008

    In the beginning, God said, “Fuck it! I’ll do it live! I’ll do it live!” And he did. And he saw that it sucked.

  83. #83 Tony Sidaway
    October 2, 2008

    If the Wookie lives on Endor, God must exist.

  84. #84 Tony Sidaway
    October 2, 2008

    Dammit, I think I just prove that Bill O’Reilly is a Wookie, using BillOReillyLogic [tm].

  85. If I ever figure this out, will it by chance show up in the “Preview” as a link?

    Yes it will.

  86. #86 Greg Uchrin
    October 2, 2008

    Bold? If you mean incredibly rude. Fresh? ask Andrea Mackris, former associate producer of Bill’s TV show who accused him of sexual harassment–and my cartoon of 2004 at

    http://haildubyus.com/2004/10/19/the-official-bill-oreilly-pocket-rocket-only-1995/

    Barbarian? I don’t think Attila would have let him on a horse. Working class? Try middle class from Levittown, Long Island. The lessons he learned there? That must have been some dinner table! As for the rest of the non sequitur argument, I can only say, if there is a God, he hasn’t been paying attention.

  87. #87 Murty BVNS
    October 2, 2008

    I dont think he is an egotist. He is an expert marketeer. People think he is arrogant, making noise giving his statement more prominent position promoting his name and books all through socialweb. This is the situation he might be expecting. More noise around him. More search engine listings. We fools running debate here and becoming puppets in his marketing strategy. In my view it is not debate around such statements that will cure him. Just suppress those statements. Make silence around him. Block him out.

  88. #88 R.C Moore
    October 2, 2008

    O’Reilly’s proof for the existence of god isn’t really any worse than all the others I have heard.

  89. #89 Polyester mather DD
    October 2, 2008

    i suspect his antiancephalic stance may stem from the metaphysical certainty that in his previous incarnation as a walrus, he lost both tusks and an eye to an irate Humboldt squid

  90. #90 Janine ID AKA The Lone Drinker
    October 2, 2008

    Using this criteria, big sky daddy loves Oprah Winfrey even more. BillO is lower down in the pecking order.

    Damn but Ted Baxter was more humorous when Ted Knight played him.

  91. #91 Jarrad
    October 2, 2008

    I saw a cat today, and Oprah is still ridiculous. Do you STILL not believe this to be proof of god?

    Me either, but it still brought me joy.

  92. #92 TCN
    October 2, 2008
  93. #93 Ron Sullivan
    October 2, 2008

    hexatron, #32:
    Some shit sinks to the bottom.
    Some shit floats to the top.
    But it’s all just shit.

    What makes the difference is the fat content.

  94. #94 scooter
    October 2, 2008

    I wouldn’t trade all the book sales on god’s grey Earth for a head that looks like a potato.

  95. #95 Corey S.
    October 2, 2008

    This from a man who thinks he won a debate with Richard Dawkins because atheists have no answer for why “the sun goes up, the sun goes down, tide goes in, tide goes out.” I may be slightly paraphrasing, but only slightly.

    Bill must have read this article (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512) on ‘intelligent falling’ and thought it was real.

  96. #96 Janine ID AKA The Lone Drinker
    October 2, 2008

    Jarrrad, I am not saying that I like Oprah. I cannot take all of the woo she pushes on people. But she is bigger than the big giant head. Let the BGH digest that.

    If Oprah and BGH is an example of whom the big sky daddy blesses, the big sky daddy is a poor judge of character.

  97. #97 Dahan
    October 2, 2008

    I’m sorry, I’m apparently so dense that I can’t even understand this.
    I’m serious here. Is he saying he’s god?
    I admit to having had three Rum and Cokes before reading this and being a bit sleepy, but what is the connection that he’s attempting to make between the paragraphs exhibited? I’ll attempt to summarize them here.

    1. You know someone who remembers things he was told?
    2. This person is popular.
    3. Question asked: Why don’t you believe in a god?

    Really, is this an actual argument being put forth?

  98. #98 woozy
    October 2, 2008

    I’m sorry, I’m apparently so dense that I can’t even understand this.

    You aren’t the only one. I, honestly, can not comprehend it. I *think* it’s somehow based on the idea that as atheists believe in only in a mechanical deterministic world, they can not believe there is any purpose or meaning in life. As atheists can’t believe in purpose and meaning, they can’t believe in personal will or greatness. Thus as Bill O’Reilly is great, athiests have to be wrong. And as Bill O’Reilly is so exceedingly and excessively great, an atheist aware of his existence can’t help but marvel at O’Reilly’s greatness and must conclude that God must exist for such greatness to possibly occur in a human being.

  99. #99 Snark7
    October 2, 2008

    In fact this is certainly proof that there is a rather malevolent higher being, yes.

  100. #100 Masks of Eris
    October 2, 2008

    A proof for the nonexistence of God:

    1. Bill O’Reilly exists.
    2. The claim is proven.

  101. #101 resident_alien
    October 2, 2008

    Hideki @ #81 owes me a new keyboard and a Seven-up!

  102. #102 Patricia
    October 2, 2008

    Hey Scooter – Since you’re hanging out on this thread.
    “I’ll go home and get my panties,
    You go home and get your scanties,
    And away we’ll go….”

    I can’t remember a damned bit of this, but my grandma & I used to do the Charleston to it, and laugh and sing our asses off.

  103. #103 shonny
    October 2, 2008
    Posted by: John C. Randolph | October 1, 2008 11:20 PM
    If there was a god, a hypocrite like Bill O’Reilly would be a smoking pile of ashes from multiple lightning strikes. QED.

    Maybe this could be a good start?
    http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=638389
    Ok, Baptists, but the display of displeasure has to start somewhere.

  104. #104 Christophe Thill
    October 2, 2008

    Honest and decent Christians (yes, there are some!) should sue Bill O’Reilly in order to prevent him to claim he’s one of them. He’s the best anti-advertisement for religion.

    Anyway there’s only one O’Reilly, his name is Tim, and he publishes great books about computing.

  105. #105 antaresrichard
    October 2, 2008

    Did someone mention scanties? “All aboard the Niagara Limited!”

  106. #106 Nick Gotts
    October 2, 2008

    Honest,
    Before starting to hang out here, I’d never heard of O’Reilly. Now I’m vaguely aware he’s an offensive right-wing halfwit (sorry about the redundancy there), but I’ve no idea what he looks like, and certainly couldn’t distinguish him from Bill Hannity.

  107. #107 Justin H.
    October 2, 2008

    Is he talking about Conan the Barbarian?

  108. #108 GunOfSod
    October 2, 2008

    “Next time you meet an atheist, tell him or her that you know a creepy, sexist guy, a barbarian who was raised in a working-class home and retains the love of falafels he learned there.

    “Then mention to that atheist that this guy is now watched, listened and ridiculed, on a daily basis, by millions of people all over the world and, to boot, sells millions of books and loofas.

    “Then, while the non-believer is digesting all that, ask him or her why they still don’t believe there’s a God!”

    There fixed that for ya. Narcisist much?

  109. #109 Kel
    October 2, 2008

    Before starting to hang out here, I’d never heard of O’Reilly.

    I learnt of him because he was sent up on an Australian satire program.

    Funny stuff
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvOrPd_fqCA
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rlq1yMF8z28

  110. #110 Darwin's Dagger
    October 2, 2008

    Bill O’Reilly is proof, that if there is a god, he’s smoking crack.

  111. TCN, you’re close.

    Looks like you didn’t close the tag.

    Make sure that at the end it has this [/a] with the brackets replaced by less than / greater than signs.

    The / is important.

    Here is a tutorial.

    [a href=”URL”]heres a link[/a]

  112. #112 Marc Abian
    October 2, 2008

    I love that he called himself a bold fresh guy.

    When I think of a rebel, someone with a bit of an edge, with a new breezy style, someone who’s not afraid to take on the establishment and still look cool, I think Bill O Reilly.

  113. #113 The Atheist Jew
    October 2, 2008

    Even a theist has to wonder what he would gain by using this as an argument for God’s existence.

  114. #114 Voltaire Kinison
    October 2, 2008

    I think I’ll nominate him for George Hrab’s Religious Moron of the Week.
    http://www.geologicpodcast.com/

  115. #115 Voltaire Kinison
    October 2, 2008

    Actually I think it proves that he is retarded.

  116. #116 Jonathon
    October 2, 2008

    A barbarian? HA HA HA HA. Yeah, right.

    BillO is a CLOWN.

  117. #117 BAllanJ
    October 2, 2008

    No No No.
    You guys have it wrong.
    His proof is completely correct, he just left out a couple of steps sorta as an exercise for the reader/listener.
    In his “religion” there is not only the necessity for a god, but also for a devil. The only way someone like BillO could have possibly got to where he is is by selling his soul to the devil.
    His success without such a being as a devil makes absolutely no sense.
    QED

  118. #118 tsg
    October 2, 2008

    O’Reilly’s “argument” for the existence of God is so lame and self-aggrandizing that I suspect even he knows it’s nonsense. He’s making a joke. A lumbering joke.

    Later on, if any atheists email him and tell him his argument makes no sense, he will gleefully point out that atheists have no sense of humor, and don’t get satire or nuance.

    Ah, Ebertire.

    This looks like trolling. Or maybe I just hope it’s trolling.

    Based on the vast amounts of bullshit he spouts on a regular basis, I have no trouble accepting that he actually believes this, or at least wants us to think he does. If it is supposed to be satire, he has no idea what everyone else thinks about him.

  119. #119 joolya
    October 2, 2008

    Bill O’Reillay: proof that there is a god, and he/she likes to watch us squirm.

  120. #120 E in MD
    October 2, 2008

    Perhaps I’m just one of those stupid godless heathens but I’m not really sure I even understand Bill’s argument. Is he trying to say that because people listen to him that there’s a God?

    Millions of people listen to Bill Maher too. Guess that means there’s no god.

  121. #121 Me
    October 2, 2008

    I live in the UK and my second name is O’Reilly (my grandfather’s name is Bill, heh). I actually feel ashamed to be connected to Bill O’Reilly in *any way*.

    And yeah, people in the UK watch Bill. Mostly on the internet. Because he’s just so infinitely mockable, especially when he throws a tizzy and mutes his “guests” because they just kicked his ass in a debate.

  122. #122 Shinobi
    October 2, 2008

    I object to your association of perfectly nice and resonably intelligent “big fat” people with O’Reilly. I think there is another F word adjective that is a much more accurate descriptor of him than Fat.

  123. #123 Feynmaniac
    October 2, 2008

    If anyone else had said something like that I would think much less of them. However, my opinion of Bill O’Reilly is already so low that this comment really does nothing.

    If I was Bill I would wonder why God would let Colbert, a man who makes a living parodying O’Reilly, much more successful than himself.

  124. #124 b_nichol
    October 2, 2008

    Of course, his new book ‘A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity’ is just an anagram for ‘Shameful, bona fide hypocrite.’
    But you knew that already.

    http://tinyurl.com/3es6hl

  125. #125 E.V.
    October 2, 2008

    If I were irrational and a total jerk, I would fantasize about Billo, Sean Profannity and The DittoMeister being forced sodomized by rabid hamster-wielding zombies with a fetish for lemon juice and coarse salt grit lubricant. But since I’m not, I don’t.

    Billo meltdown for a demonstration of his intellectual superiority:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XWtfbISKd8U

  126. #126 mas528
    October 2, 2008

    “Next time you meet an atheist, tell him or her that you know a bold, fresh guy, a barbarian who was raised in a working-class home and retains the lessons he learned there.

    “Then mention to that atheist that this guy is now watched and listened to, on a daily basis, by millions of people all over the world and, to boot, sells millions of books.

    Is he describing Barack Obama?

  127. #127 Paul Lundgren
    October 2, 2008

    I think Olbermann might, just might, have something to say about this on Countdown.

  128. #128 steve8282
    October 2, 2008

    I rhnik Bill has alrady been Geo’s RMOW, Im not sure if he does repeats.

  129. #129 frog
    October 2, 2008

    But O’Reilly’s argument is a good one against there existing a Big 3 O god – omniscient, omnipotent and omnibenevolent. She must have an extremely sadistic sense of humor: she proves herself via Hitler and O’Reilly!

  130. #130 Jerome
    October 2, 2008

    You’ve got to be kidding me. That’s one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard.

  131. #131 Robert M.
    October 2, 2008

    To the Christians among us:

    Imagine there’s a religion based on a man. Imagine that that man never wrote anything himself. Imagine that the people who followed him while he was alive never bothered to write about him. Imagine we had to wait 20 years after that man died for someone to actually think about writing about him. Imagine that everything written about that man was written by his followers and by no one else. Imagine that the people among which that man lived (the Jews) never even mentioned him.

    Now do you still believe that man existed?

  132. #132 phantomreader42
    October 2, 2008

    mas528:

    “Next time you meet an atheist, tell him or her that you know a bold, fresh guy, a barbarian who was raised in a working-class home and retains the lessons he learned there.
    “Then mention to that atheist that this guy is now watched and listened to, on a daily basis, by millions of people all over the world and, to boot, sells millions of books.

    Is he describing Barack Obama?

    Or Stephen Colbert?

    I’ve been wanting to reference the song “What would Brian Boitano Do” since I first saw this post, but I just can’t think of how to fit it in. And somebody beat me to the Depeche Mode reference.

  133. #133 noncarborundum
    October 2, 2008

    And likewise, by putting punctuation that belongs to the outer scope into the quotes. Like “‘Yes, ‘ he said”, while it cleary should be “‘Yes’, he said”. He didn’t speak the comma, it belongs to the outer scope.

    So true. And yet this is the prescribed method in the U.S. Go figure; we never do anything else illogical.

    Bill O’Reilly may very well be the first person in history to use his résumé as proof of a higher power.

    A neighbor of mine once tried to use my résumé as such a proof, or at least the fact that I had a good job, nice house in the suburbs, happy marriage and healthy young children. Of course, this was before my son was diagnosed with brain cancer. After that, I suppose, the case for God wasn’t quite so good. (The neighbor had moved away by then, so he never had to confront that particular conundrum.)

  134. #134 TCN
    October 2, 2008

    Testing

    Thanks, Chimpy

  135. #135 Sman
    October 2, 2008

    It appears that Billo’s “exercise in pomposity” is going to get him the gold in Olbermann’s “Worst Person In The World” segment tonight.

  136. #136 NutsInNY
    October 3, 2008

    Thanks for that tasty morsel, Pharyngula…

    Bill is one of ours, afterall, so I posted this bit to “Nuts in NY”.

    See here: http://www.nutsinny.com/all-nuts/nuts-4-god-at-least-the-barbarian-parts-true

    Best wishes,
    David Donnell

  137. #137 Katrina
    October 4, 2008

    Bill’s comments made it to the latest “Jesus and Mo

  138. #138 Ichthyic
    October 4, 2008

    Testing
    Thanks, Chimpy

    our good Reverend giving advice on CLOSING TAGS!!!

    the world is surely coming to an end.

    :P

  139. #139 Andy
    October 7, 2008

    What is it with you liberal idiots?When you join the democratic party,do you take an oath to call anyone you dont agree with names and put downs?Saul Alinsky loves your methods of pushing your agenda.Todays democratic party is pathetic and totally un-American.

  140. #140 Nerd of Redhead
    October 7, 2008

    Andy, you open your mouth out comes lies. I am not nor ever have been a member of the democratic party. So stop trying to smear everybody here with that paintbrush. It says something (not good) about your thought processes that you attempted to do so. We don’t have to see the world your way, and don’t because we think for ourselves. Is that what scares you?

  141. #141 MartinM
    October 7, 2008

    When you join the democratic party,do you take an oath to call anyone you dont agree with names and put downs?

    Disgraceful behaviour. We should all strive to follow the example of Bill O’Reilly, who never called anyone names.

    Todays democratic party is pathetic and totally un-American.

    Yeah, those bastards. Who could forgive the way they’ve trashed the constitution? Suspending habeus corpus, throwing people in jail indefinitely, without charge, trial, or representation, spying on their own citizens and arguing that the courts should not have oversight…hey, wait a minute.

  142. #142 Patricia
    October 7, 2008

    Yes, we do.
    So fuck off, blat-ass.

  143. What is it with you liberal idiots?When you join the democratic party,do you take an oath to call anyone you dont agree with names and put downs?

    With the economy like it is I can’t afford to keep replacing irony meters.

  144. #144 SC
    October 7, 2008

    Saul Alinsky loves your methods of pushing your agenda.

    Thanks for reminding me, Andy!:

    http://scienceblogs.com/authority/2008/09/community_organizing_and_the_s.php

  145. #145 yelinna
    February 1, 2009

    A barbarian born in a working class?? Listened by millions of people???
    I thought he was talking about Hitler!!

    oh, sure, I see now what kind of God is out there?

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