Pharyngula

Not surprising at all

Ted Haggard is in the news again — it seems he has been involved in long term homosexual relationships, and has been abusing his power for sexual favors. Raise your hands if you would never have expected it!

Hey, how come none of you lifted your fingers from your keyboard?

Here’s his latest excuse, and it’s actually a good one.

In an AP interview this month before an appearance in front of TV critics in California, Haggard described his sexuality as complex and something that can’t be put into “stereotypical boxes.”

Yes! Now if only he could understand that everyone’s sexuality is complicated and difficult and personal, and that the real problem is people like him and his fellow evangelicals who insist that there is only one tolerable, one-size-fits-all box for us all.

Comments

  1. #1 Kiwi Steve
    January 24, 2009

    I feel sorry for the volunteer – watching the bad guy protrayed as a victim must be terrible. I’m glad the church realised this.

  2. #2 'Tis Himself
    January 24, 2009

    Haggard described his sexuality as complex and something that can’t be put into “stereotypical boxes.”

    His stance on homosexuality can be summed up in one word: hypocrisy.

  3. #3 JanineK
    January 24, 2009

    Only the true christian’s homosexuality can be complex. The rest of us have surrendered to sin.

  4. #4 Rev. BigDumbChimp
    January 24, 2009

    I’m shocked. Shocked, I tell you.

    Now where’d I put my slinky?

  5. #5 Nerd of Redhead
    January 24, 2009

    We expect hypocrisy from preachers about sex. The more prominent they are, the more likely they are to lie to themselves and everyone else about it. Nope, the hands didn’t leave the keyboard.

  6. #6 The Tim Channel
    January 24, 2009

    I’m just glad the church didn’t go after the guy for breech of confidentiality. It looks like they were happy that Ted is getting a little smackdown. I doubt they’re happy with his proposed ‘comeback’.

    In other news, a reminder that we are not the masters of our own domain. There is much more science that needs to be done.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1126650/Miss-World-finalist-hands-feet-amputated-hit-infection-dies.html

    Enjoy.

  7. #7 Diderot
    January 24, 2009

    Stereotypical boxes? I surely thought hypocritical-self-hating-bigot was the box that all closeted evangelicals fit in. Is there another?

  8. #8 SEF
    January 24, 2009

    evangelicals who insist that there is only one tolerable, one-size-fits-all box for us all.

    They generally insist on 2 not 1.

    Haggard described his sexuality as complex and something that can’t be put into “stereotypical boxes.”

    Rather like the anti-choice pro-lifers having abortions, who claim (according to the reports from health-care professionals in links posted by various people) that their situation isn’t at all like that of “those sluts” who offend them by being in the same waiting room.

  9. #9 Jadehawk
    January 24, 2009

    “Only my homosexuality can be complex.”
    “only my abortion is a moral abortion”

    et cetera ad nauseam. complete and utter empathy fail. I learned that what I experience, others experience as well sometime when I was 5, so I guess their mental development must have stopped earlier than that

  10. #10 Diagoras
    January 24, 2009

    Color me unsurprised. I lived in the shadow of New Life Church when I was a denizen of Colorado Springs. Empathy, sympathy, and a box of Kleenex is what they demanded of you – but any measure of understanding in return was beyond their capabilities.

  11. #11 Andrés Diplotti
    January 24, 2009

    I must say I find a post about complex sexuality and hands leaving the keyboard… well… a little too tempting to quote-mine.

  12. #12 E.V.
    January 24, 2009

    At least he’s not claiming that he’s cured of “teh ghey” and is now 100 percent attracted only, and to all, of the female persuasion. He should be made to watch himself preach his rabid anti-gay propaganda- in a sort of a “Clockwork Orange” way.

  13. #13 Rowan
    January 24, 2009

    my hands did not rise from the keyboard. when i read the news yesterday i could only shake my head. haggard and others of his ilk need to accept that being homosexual is not a choice.

    his self loathing due to his fundamental xtian beliefs must be staggering.

  14. #14 John H.
    January 24, 2009

    Did Haggard deny his sexuality was a choice? If not, then he’s (barely) consistent. He just made a bad choice, that’s all.

    Irony meter save, this time.

  15. #15 John H.
    January 24, 2009

    save = safe

  16. #16 DPoem
    January 24, 2009

    One way or another, Ted Haggard will blow his brains out if he keeps up like this.

  17. #17 Andyo
    January 24, 2009

    Oh, Ted Haggard, you. What a rascal.

    Gotta watch late night talk shows next week.

    Hey, I know! He just feels sorry for the late night comedians now that Bush is out.

  18. #18 Michael X
    January 24, 2009

    Ahahaha! I can change the name. (and now we lay Diderot to rest.)
    Janine, you have to goto typepad website and change your nickname in the profile tab. Then resign in.

  19. #19 Andyo
    January 24, 2009

    Speaking of Typepad, anyone yet has been able to track comments, their own or others’?

  20. #20 JanineK
    January 24, 2009

    Thanks to Micheal X and Mena for pointing me in the right direction.

  21. #21 ChrisKG
    January 24, 2009

    What a piece of work…

    This was his view taken from his personal website just prior to his downfall. This statement is his view of Hell before he was caught. Notice the ?unbeliever will be judged by God? when in fact, it was Ted doing the judging. Goddamn hypocrite.

    Hell: After living one life on earth, the unbelievers will be judged by God and sent to hell where they will be eternally tormented with the devil and the fallen angels (see Matt. 25:41; Mark 9:43-48; Heb. 9:27; Rev. 14:9-11; 20:12-15; 21:8).”

    His Bio stated:

    Pastor Ted Haggard is the president of the 30 million-member National Association of Evangelicals (NAE), the largest evangelical group in America. He is also founder and senior pastor of the 14,000-member New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado. He formed and serves as the president of both the Association of Life-Giving Churches, a network of local churches, and worldprayerteam.org, the only real-time global prayer network.

    Pastor Ted has been interviewed by Barbara Walters, Tom Brokaw, Bill O?Reilly, Chris Matthews, and more. Time included Pastor Ted in their list of the 25 Most Influential Evangelicals in America. Harper?s says, ?No pastor in America holds more sway over the political direction of evangelicalism than does Pastor Ted.?

    He graduated from Oral Roberts University in 1978 and has received two honorary Doctor of Divinity degrees. He served as the American Vice-President for World Missions for Jesus, a German missions organization, and served as an Associate Pastor at Bethany World Prayer Center in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, which helped him plant New Life Church in 1985. Haggard and his wife, Gayle, have five children.

    Well, it seems this fallen fool has fooled everyone, including himself. I love that he has two “honorary” degrees; he should receive a third for being a master charlatan.

  22. #22 Capital Dan
    January 24, 2009

    I wonder if they can revoke those “honorary” degrees.

  23. #23 Richard Harris
    January 24, 2009

    I feel more sorry for the lying bugger’s wife & kids than I do for him.

    And I guess it gives a whole new meaning to, “Get behind me, Satan”.

  24. #24 Wayne Robinson
    January 24, 2009

    The Reverend Paul T Hipple (just love that name) on the blog for “Expelled”, once claimed that any minister of religion, if ever caught out on committing any “sin” or convicted of any crime, must have been possessed by Satan, and should therefore be immediately forgiven, and also released from gaol if imprisoned with a free pardon. The “reasoning” from what I can gather, is that Satanic possession of ministers of religion is a occupational hazard. Satan apparently prefers to possess ministers of religion and lead them astray, to cast maximum doubt in the minds of their sheep, sorry flock. Unless, of course if they are Catholic priests, who are damned anyway, as the spawn of the devil.

  25. #25 Rienk
    January 24, 2009

    I call Haggard’s Law on Haggard!

    “The chance of involvement in supposed ‘sinful’ behavior increases with the effort spent in denouncing said behavior.”

  26. #26 Erik Jackson
    January 24, 2009

    I found a poll asking if Ted Haggard is a homosexual or heterosexual:

    Vote to see if Ted Haggard is Gay or not!

  27. #27 The Tim Channel
    January 24, 2009

    Good to see I wasn’t the only one slightly deterred by the new typepad login.

    Those who say the real problem is that Ted hasn’t fully realized and embraced his HUMAN gayness are spot on. It is difficult for him to rebuild his church on the basis of God loves gays even when they are doing the nasty, so he has to make sure to keep an arm’s length away from extolling such viewpoints.

    In my honest opinion, his only real chance to regain any stature is to use his new found five minutes of media attention to go full out gay. He could build a HUGE following by just attracting all the gays away from the more strident evangelical churches. God knows they’re crammed to the hilt with self hating gays. That’s in part how he used to make his living.

    Enjoy.

  28. #28 E.V.
    January 24, 2009

    I feel more sorry for the lying bugger’s wife & kids than I do for him.

    The kids, yes, but I wouldn’t be so quick to feel sorry for Mrs. Haggard or any other adult member of that church. We used to have a term for that type of christian -“baptized in vinegar”. She’s probably as much a “piece of work” as he is.

  29. #29 druidbros
    January 24, 2009

    If they would just read the Kinsey Report (and believe it – which is a big order) much of the stupidity on this subject would stop. Of course, it would not stop them from other stupid ideas but one step at a time.

  30. #30 Pierce R. Butler
    January 24, 2009

    But, but, but…

    We have it from an authority regularly cited at Pharyngula that Ted Haggard Is Completely Heterosexual!

    (Damned if I?m the only one who?s going to have this tune bouncing around between his ears all night…)

  31. #31 thalarctos
    January 24, 2009

    oh great, Pierce, I hadn’t thought of that, but thanks for the earworm :P.

  32. #32 E.V.
    January 24, 2009

    I found a poll asking if Ted Haggard is a homosexual or heterosexual:

    I see the “your either straight or gay” false dichotomy is still alive and well. No broad spectrum for male sexuality, only the ladies are allowed that, so polarize away!

  33. #33 Sili
    January 24, 2009

    I’m starting to feel sorry for the wee Haggards as well. Can’t be a nice way to grow up – but of course, we know that a true Christian upbringing is the only way to instill morals in kids …

    Could anyone link me to that article (I think it must have been one of the first I saw here on Pharyngula) about how “Abortion is immoral except when I have one” or words to that effect? I’ve tried a variety of permutations without being able to google it up.

  34. #34 The Tim Channel
    January 24, 2009

    Could anyone link me to that article (I think it must have been one of the first I saw here on Pharyngula) about how “Abortion is immoral except when I have one” or words to that effect?

    I’m hoping this will suffice as a reasonable substitute for your request, as well as being entirely on topic.

    It’s from Roy Zimmerman and he’s PZ approved: Glory, Glory How He Blew Ya!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZmHC75FDqQ

    I used it in a post on my website today that I made after commenting here.

    Enjoy.

  35. #35 llewelly
    January 24, 2009

    I wasn’t surprised.

  36. #36 Hairhead
    January 24, 2009

    It looks like Haggard may be telling the truth for the first time in his life — “doesn’t fit into stereotypical boxes” indeed!

    I am partial to Gore Vidal’s view of human sexuality (paraphrased): “People have different kinds of sex at different times of their lives for different reasons. One person may have many different kinds of sexual and emotional relationships, serially or simultaneously, without being pathologically damaged.”

    And as long as all of the sex is mutually consenting, with adults, then IT DOESN’T MATTER.

    As for the Haggard family, I feel the most for Mrs. Haggard, who is enjoined by her beliefs to stay with Mr-Fuck-Anything-That-Walks, no matter what he does (or has done to him).

  37. #37 Newfie
    January 24, 2009

    Seems that you really have to lie a lot in the GAWD bidness.

  38. #38 Paper Hand
    January 24, 2009

    Read the article next to that poll on Ted Haggard.

    Now the question is: Is Ted Haggard really a homosexual? Is it possible for someone who has researched Gods word so often, and spoken against the devil daily to be that tainted by him? I would hope not but I am at a loss of what to say for this situation. I want to think that the allegations against him are false but there is little evidence for this.

    This leaves me with the only conclusion I can make: He never was a true Christian! When he chose to become a homosexual, we know right then that this act is as good as a confession for non-Christianity. No true Christian would ever, under any circumstances, choose to be a homosexual, let alone sleep with a male hooker.

    We can only Pray that the people who put Ted in power learn from their mistakes, and do not let power or money hungry people get to represent them!

    A lovely example of the No True Scotsman argument right there. Although, I need a new irony meter, especially after that last paragraph …

  39. #39 Nerd of Redhead
    January 24, 2009

    Paper Hand, you just need to fuse the input on your irony meter. That has saved me a lot of money on meters. But my fuse budget went up dramatically. Still, the increase in fuse budget was far less than the cost of replacing the meters themselves.

  40. #40 Jadehawk
    January 24, 2009

    I found a poll asking if Ted Haggard is a homosexual or heterosexual:

    Vote to see if Ted Haggard is Gay or not!

    interesting… for one, last i checked homosexuality wasn’t a choice, democratic or otherwise. two, most the votes say he’s heterosexual. how does that work? is that wishful thinking/projection?

  41. #41 Tomecat
    January 24, 2009

    Sili,
    I think the article you’re looking for is “The Only Moral Abortion is My Abortion”. The link is http://mypage.direct.ca/w/writer/anti-tales.html

  42. #42 E.V.
    January 24, 2009

    I feel the most for Mrs. Haggard, who is enjoined by her beliefs to stay with Mr-Fuck-Anything-That-Walks, no matter what he does (or has done to him).

    Why?
    She’s not some innocent, naive little generic hausfrau. She’s a member of a hate-filled evangelical megachurch ($$$$$) and someone who willingly married a religious demagogue. Besides, even those with the most myopic gaydar had to know something was not quite right about Ted.

    (I have to say here, that I hate when anyone feels entitled to carry on a secret sexual life with others when they have promised to remain sexually faithful to their spouse. If both partners agree on on an open relationship, whatever -go for it.)

  43. #43 E.V.
    January 24, 2009

    … and spoken against the devil daily to be that tainted by him?

    Heh heh heh, he said “taint”.

  44. #44 Erik Jackson
    January 24, 2009

    interesting… for one, last i checked homosexuality wasn’t a choice, democratic or otherwise. two, most the votes say he’s heterosexual. how does that work? is that wishful thinking/projection?

    I am guessing the logic is that ‘everyone is heterosexual’ and that ‘homosexuality is an excuse for sin’ or something along these lines. That’s why I submitted this Poll

  45. #45 E.V.
    January 24, 2009

    Sorry Erik, your poll still leaves much to be desired in the choices listed.

  46. #46 SEF
    January 24, 2009

    @ Sili #33:

    Could anyone link me to that article … about how “Abortion is immoral except when I have one” or words to that effect?

    Well _I_ was referring to some of the links on the “This must be a very hard question” thread. Eg in this post.

  47. #47 raven
    January 24, 2009

    But Ted said he’s been cured. He is not gay anymore. All thanks to the lord.

    Since he is a fundie preacher, it must be true. He wouldn’t just be making stuff up, would he?

  48. #48 SEF
    January 24, 2009

    Ah, I see Tomecat in #41 got to that link while I was still fighting with the, now rather engorged, thread.

  49. #49 Wowbagger, Grumpy Minimalist
    January 24, 2009

    Heh heh heh – SEF said ‘engorged’…

  50. #50 bluescat48
    January 24, 2009

    This is a case of “Do as I say, not as I do.” The [b]Hypocritical Oath[/b]

  51. #51 SEF
    January 24, 2009

    Too creative for you or not creative enough (for PZ’s new regime)?

  52. #52 Wowbagger, Grumpy Minimalist
    January 24, 2009

    I just think it’s a funny word…

  53. #53 Kamaka
    January 24, 2009

    ANDYO @ 19

    Speaking of Typepad, anyone yet has been able to track comments, their own or others’?

    I subscribed to a Pharynguloid’s account during a previous discussion some weeks back. I got nada, bupkis.

  54. #54 SEF
    January 24, 2009

    That was the general idea, yes.

    Incidentally, thread loading (even of relative tiddlers like this one) seems to have slowed down to a crawl all of a sudden (at least from where I’m viewing things in the UK). I’m even getting to see the non-logged in version of the form for ages before the TypeKey minimal version replaces it.

  55. #55 Kamaka
    January 24, 2009

    Jadehawk

    How’s this for wishful thinking?

  56. #56 Kamaka
    January 24, 2009

    Oh, crap, the url didn’t show up

  57. #57 Kamaka
    January 24, 2009
  58. #58 Kamaka
    January 24, 2009
  59. #59 Jadehawk
    January 24, 2009

    yeah, I remember seeing that one on FSTDT. it hurt my brain :-p

  60. #60 firemancarl
    January 24, 2009

    Damn, it sucks that only gay, drugged out , fundy former preachers can have “complex sexuality”. I mean, now what am I supposed to do???

  61. #61 Jadehawk
    January 24, 2009

    become a gay, drugged out, fundy former preacher…?

  62. #62 Pikemann Urge
    January 24, 2009

    I haven’t talked to many priests or prostitutes, but Osho, an Indian mystic who’s now dead, said once that priests talk about sex while prostitutes talk about God. That wouldn’t surprise me.

  63. #63 Kamaka
    January 24, 2009

    AND, there’s a follow-up

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081226174833AA5LmiA

    I mean really, mom, the guy hasn’t been projecting the gay since he was, what, 6 or 7?

    By the way, Jadehawk, we’re neighbors, I live in G.F.

  64. #64 JoshS, Official SpokesGay
    January 24, 2009

    The most parsimonious explanation seems to be that Mr. Haggard is just a garden-variety slut.

    Like EV said above, who didn’t know he was gay? How is it possible for the Mrs. Haggards of the world (and the Mrs. McGreeveys) not to notice what everyone else does? The first time I saw an interview with Ted Haggard – can’t remember what it was – I was like, “Oh girrrrlll please.” Then I thought about sending him a better haircut, but I didn’t.

  65. #65 Jadehawk
    January 24, 2009

    ha! good to know I’m not the only Pharyngulite in this blasted wasteland

    He is not a homosexual, we have taught him from the bible and he has learned though our church that this is not in God’s plan. I will not teach him about condoms, that is unacceptable, we have always taught him about abstinence and that is what God and his future wife expects from him.

    poor kid. that’s major drama waiting to happen :-/

  66. #66 JoshS, Official SpokesGay
    January 24, 2009

    . . .we have always taught him about abstinence and that is what God and his future wife expects from him.

    Well, that’s good, Mrs. Cleaver, because I suspect that’s about all his future wife is going to get.

  67. #67 Alex
    January 24, 2009

    What is surprising, however, is that no one noticed this obvious grammatical error: “…the new disclosures about Haggard are more disturbing because they involves a church volunteer.”
    And it’s on a ton of different websites too! How is it possible that no one noticed it?! D=<

  68. #68 JoshS, Official SpokesGay
    January 24, 2009

    “…the new disclosures about Haggard are more disturbing because they involves a church volunteer.”

    Oh, dear. Giggle fit.

    Also, did anyone besides EV look our friend Erik’s poll from #44? Get this:

    Now the question is: Is Ted Haggard really a homosexual? Is it possible for someone who has researched Gods word so often, and spoken against the devil daily to be that tainted by him? I would hope not but I am at a loss of what to say for this situation. I want to think that the allegations against him are false but there is little evidence for this.

    This leaves me with the only conclusion I can make: He never was a true Christian! When he chose to become a homosexual, we know right then that this act is as good as a confession for non-Christianity. No true Christian would ever, under any circumstances, choose to be a homosexual, let alone sleep with a male hooker.

    I’ve polled the other SpokesGays, Erik, and they’ve authorized me to state our position that you are not a True Person(TM), because no one can be that stupid.

  69. #69 Kamaka
    January 24, 2009

    Spokesgay @ 64

    The most parsimonious explanation seems to be that Mr. Haggard is just a garden-variety slut.

    Is there a SpokesGay tabulation of how many of these famous flaming godbot ministers have been caught in the motel room with a straw up the nose and a boy up the (deleted, per PZ)??

  70. #70 JoshS, Official SpokesGay
    January 24, 2009

    Kamaka, that is a closely guarded secret, jealously protected by our deviant cabal. Rest assured we will release the figures at a time calculated to produce maximum humiliation and hilarity.

  71. #71 Rev. BigDumbChimp
    January 24, 2009

    Kamaka, that is a closely guarded secret, jealously protected by our deviant cabal. Rest assured we will release the figures at a time calculated to produce maximum humiliation and hilarity.

    I for one am waiting somewhat impatiently and mostly drunkly for that!

  72. #72 Kamaka
    January 24, 2009

    I have never been afraid of the gay before.

  73. #73 Rev. BigDumbChimp
    January 24, 2009

    I have never been afraid of the gay before.

    it’s call “teh gay”.

  74. #74 Kamaka
    January 24, 2009

    ‘scuz meh

  75. #75 Andyo
    January 24, 2009

    Isn’t “teh gay” something that you get from hanging out with “teh gayz”? That’s what I was told by a youtube commenter.

  76. #76 Kamaka
    January 24, 2009

    you can get teh gay from a toilet seat

  77. #77 E.V.
    January 24, 2009

    you can get teh gay from a toilet seat

    Okay, let’s leave Sen. Larry Craig out of this.

  78. #78 Rev. BigDumbChimp
    January 24, 2009

    It’s very contagious. Hence the need to avoid being around, touching or thinking about teh gayz unless you are thinking about burning them at the stake.

  79. #79 E.V.
    January 24, 2009

    RevBDC:
    And slinky is a euphemism for…?

  80. #80 JoshS, Official SpokesGay
    January 24, 2009

    Um, like, duh? It’s properly “Teh Ghey.” But in my capacity as Official SpokesGay(TM), I must project a professional image in all company typography. It’s still Teh Ghey, though.

  81. #81 Newfie
    January 24, 2009

    I was in a Minneapolis/St. Paul airport restroom once. But I only took a crap. I think it was about 6 months before that story broke. Makes me wonder what goes through people’s minds as they use the facilities now, being in the know.

  82. #82 Andyo
    January 24, 2009

    This is where we are now. Where you have to indicate “but I only took a crap” when talking about public restrooms.

  83. #83 Newfie
    January 24, 2009

    I washed my hands too.

  84. #84 Andyo
    January 24, 2009

    You wash your hands? What a nerd.

  85. #85 Kamaka
    January 24, 2009

    This is where we are now. Where you have to indicate “but I only took a crap” when talking about public restrooms.

    Hey, wait a minute here, aren’t you the shoe-signal guy I’ve been meeting lately?

    Hush Puppies? Brown, with tassels?

  86. #86 Andyo
    January 24, 2009

    Nope. You must be thinking about Frank.

  87. #87 Jeanette
    January 24, 2009

    The weird thing is that Ted Haggard can get laid at all, never mind the gender. Yuck.

  88. #88 wrpd4
    January 25, 2009

    #67: We’ve just suffered eight years of Bush’s abuse of the English language. It takes time to heal.
    Yesterday I heard a five-minute clip of Bush fucking up the language. My favorite was Bush talking about air pollution and he mentioned “carbon binoxide.”

  89. #89 Teal Cuttlefish
    January 25, 2009

    Jeanette said:

    The weird thing is that Ted Haggard can get laid at all, never mind the gender. Yuck.

    At least part of the time, he pays for it. Folks trying to survive will put up with a lot for money.

    Not that I have a problem with sex workers — just Haggard and other hypocrites like him.

  90. #90 Jeff
    January 25, 2009

    Evangelicals are the worst of the worst in my opinion. The minsters are sleazebags. Complete and utter sleazebags.

  91. #91 John Phillips, FCD
    January 25, 2009

    Best.Thread.Ever. I am crying from laughing so much at the posts, thank you , thank you, thank you. Please, keep it up fellow Pharyngulite ilk as I needed a good laugh today :)

  92. #92 'Tis Himself
    January 25, 2009

    Yesterday I heard a five-minute clip of Bush fucking up the language. My favorite was Bush talking about air pollution and he mentioned “carbon binoxide.”

    You’d think that a guy with degrees from Yale and Harvard could speak the English gooder than a high school dropout.

  93. #93 Wowbagger, Grumpy Minimalist
    January 25, 2009

    Putting the ink in co-inkydink – I was just at a friends’ place, and they’d recorded the Dawkins documentary The Root of All Evil?
    and I suggested we watch some of it. My friend was fascinated; she’d never seen Dawkins before, nor had she – being an Australian, like me – realised precisely how demented and nonsensical fundamentalists are.

    Then, of course, Haggard came on. I nearly wet myself and then had to explain to her exactly why that was, and that I’d only read about his further adventures earlier today. She found it extremely amusing as well.

    Can someone die from too much schadenfreude?

  94. #94 Strangest brew
    January 25, 2009

    90*

    “Evangelicals are the worst of the worst in my opinion. The minsters are sleazebags. Complete and utter sleazebags.”

    Most…if not all…the rabid jeebus lovers are basic to advanced liars…they have to be to make up such ridiculous claims…the skill is in keeping a straight face and twisting scripture to suit!

    It has long been fairly obvious that sexual dysfunctionalism is the driving force behind the fundamentalist and evangelistic hysteria and not so much to do with spirituality!
    And it is overwhelmingly deluded men that feel the need to rant and rave about sexuality and how evil it is!
    This applies equally to all the major religions.

    They fear and distrust women with an ignorance born of simple jealousy and are incoherent about gaydom because they are deep down sure that they lust after male and tend to the over compensation…
    What you get is a bitter bigoted and totally screwed up fool of a man that is as much victim of religion as the rest of us!

    It is the claims by grown men that they ‘love’ jeebus like star struck fans that gives them away…they cannot help themselves!
    Tis homo eroticism taken to extremes as they try and suppress the attraction they really feel…the more wealthy their ministry the longer it takes for the truth to emerge…but sexuality of a public figure will always be revealed sooner or later….especially cos these bunnies are not the brightest and a great amount of cover up is accomplished by their adoring acolytes.

    In the meantime they rail and spit poisonous rhetoric…and the closer they come to exposure the greater the bile and acid through fear and self loathing…expect Warren to fall from grace sometime soon!

    Those that whine loudest usually are whining through desire to emulate…they literally want a piece of that ass and are severely peeved they cannot get it openly…that is when they take risks…that is when they get busted!

  95. #95 Strangest brew
    January 25, 2009

    92*
    “You’d think that a guy with degrees from Yale and Harvard could speak the English gooder than a high school dropout.”

    Not when daddy pays the bills…it matters not a jot!

  96. #96 Carlie
    January 25, 2009

    It’s really pretty sad – it was pointed out to me that homosexuals brought up in a super-religious environment, like Haggard was, have some parallels with abusive relationships. They can’t be themselves, they’re told that it’s terrible and horrible to be like that, and the only solution is to immerse themselves even more deeply into the environment that hates what they are. It’s going to take years and years and years of therapy for him to come to terms with all of that. According to the Washington Post today, he’s at least starting to. It’s criminal what religion does to people.

  97. #97 Her Reference Ron Sullivan
    January 25, 2009

    Jadehawk: most the votes say he’s heterosexual. how does that work?

    Teh Gayz don’t want him either.

  98. #98 Rev. BigDumbChimp
    January 25, 2009

    Can someone die from too much schadenfreude?

    Not yet. But I’m trying.

  99. #99 Vic
    January 25, 2009

    This might be a good thing. Maybe he’ll open people’s eyes to the complexities of sexuality. Maybe he’ll be able to preach tolerance and …. no, wait. Who am I kidding. He’ll still spout the same old hate filled anti-gay bullshit.

  100. #100 MS
    January 25, 2009

    My gaydar is far from perfect, and when I was young some of my mannerisms and my awkwardness with women made a lot of people think I was gay, so I certainly don’t think one can always discern the sexual orientation of others from externals, but…

    the first time I saw Ted Haggard on TV I thought he must be an avant-garde performance artist doing a multilayered imitation: Paul Lynde as a televangelist. Everything about him just screamed “deeply-in the-closet gay.” To this day I don’t understand how anyone couldn’t tell that, or fail to see through his religious schtick for what the moneymaking scheme it always was at heart. Of course, I don’t get how Benny Hinn can fill a basketball arena or soccer stadium with suckers, either.

    If Haggard weren’t a con man, I’d actually feel a little sympathy. He’s gotta be really, really, really insecure and unhappy. I do feel deeply sorry for his kids, and–possibly–his wife.

  101. #101 The Countess
    January 25, 2009

    He was scary and slimy enough in “Jesus Camp”. That was no documentary. It was a horror movie.

  102. #102 blf
    January 25, 2009

    Howzibout we all send Mr Haggerd a “Sorry to Hear About Another Infection of Teh Gayz. Get Well Soon.” card?

  103. #103 Jadehawk
    January 25, 2009

    Carlie @ #96

    that article is actually kind of hopeful. If the guy and his family come around and realize that treating other people the way they’ve been treated is not ok, that would at least be something…

    certainly better than that Hipple guy with the “that’s different, it’s satanic possession!” bullshit, or the women who have abortions and then are out picketing again the next day.

  104. #104 mythago
    January 25, 2009

    Okay, so he’s a bisexual with serious power issues and is into nonconsensual D/s relationships? That’s not “complex,” it just makes him an assjack.

  105. #105 Dr Bryan Grieg Fry
    January 25, 2009

    It does appeal to my love for the theatre of the absurd that the right wingers are always caught out in homosexual scandals while, conversely and equally ironically, it is typically the lefties caught stealing from the cookie jar earmarked for the poor! :D

  106. #106 Andyo
    January 25, 2009

    Posted by: MS | January 25, 2009 12:44 PM

    My gaydar is far from perfect, and when I was young some of my mannerisms and my awkwardness with women made a lot of people think I was gay, so I certainly don’t think one can always discern the sexual orientation of others from externals, but…

    I thought only gay people had gaydars. Most, I’m told, have upgraded to GayPS. It’ll not only tell you the location, but even the coordinates!

  107. #107 mayhempix
    January 25, 2009

    Tim Haggard:

    Con Man
    or
    Cum On Man

    You decide.

  108. #108 Richard Eis
    January 26, 2009

    ugh, he’s the gay equivelant of the snotty little relation everyone is embarrassed to know that pulls wings off of flies and always has his hands down his pants.

    I hope he doesn’t embrace his homosexuality. We do have standards and may need to start charging membership to keep out the riffraff.

  109. #109 BigZ
    January 26, 2009

    I have nothing but red hot loathing for this man. He is the perfect repersentation of what I think religios people to be. Not neccesarily in action, but in execution.

  110. #110 bungoton
    January 26, 2009

    I love the line in the article that claims Ted was involved in an inappropriate consensual relationship. What can be inappropriate about a consensual relationship? The other party was of legal age and supposedly sentient. Same old Christian fear of sex I guess.

  111. #111 extatyzoma
    January 26, 2009

    what a wanker.

    I’m sure he simply loves the attention, hes going through what many gay people had the guts to deal with years earlier in their lives and probably with far, far less support.

    the whole thing is grotesque, i wonder if ted feels hes going to hell now?? maybe he does but i can bet hes got some grandiose made up on the spot reason why hes actually not going to hell.

    im not sure this guy needs any sympathy whatsoever, i just may gloat when some of his fellow christians will tell him hes damned, i just hope he believes it.

    maybe its all sincere though, maybe trying to reconcile belief in a vengeful god and a love of cocks is simply too much for some to bear and they simply go crazy.

  112. #112 Walton
    January 26, 2009

    the whole thing is grotesque, i wonder if ted feels hes going to hell now??

    I doubt it. Evangelicals believe in salvation by faith alone. He will argue that if he repents of his sin, he is forgiven and saved through Christ, regardless of what he’s done.

  113. #113 Walton
    January 26, 2009

    It does appeal to my love for the theatre of the absurd that the right wingers are always caught out in homosexual scandals while, conversely and equally ironically, it is typically the lefties caught stealing from the cookie jar earmarked for the poor! :D

    LOL, that’s very true. If a politician preaches about “family values”, he’s usually having an illicit affair, often of a homosexual nature. If he talks about “ending sleaze and corruption”, he’s usually taking bribes under the table, or misusing government information for private purposes. The hypocrisy in public life is quite sad, really.

    I sometimes think it’d be easier, running for office, to just say “Yes, I like sex and I like money. If my job enables me to get more of these things, then I’m going to do so. Fuck you.” However, anyone who said that wouldn’t get many votes (probably rightly, on balance).

  114. #114 extatyzoma
    January 26, 2009

    walton #113

    interesting how they type of behaviour that evolution would predict (gain of status and sex under various guises) seems to be most commited by those who would oppose it.

  115. #115 Dr Benway
    January 26, 2009

    Hard times ain’t hard when you invite a camera crew along. As Master Thespian says: “ACTING!!!”

    I don’t get HBO. Hopefully someone will let me know how Haggard’s shlockumentary turns out.

  116. #116 Qwerty
    January 26, 2009

    Maybe Ted should join HA (Homosexuals Anonymous). Yes, their 12 step program can bring you out of homosexual sin, but it has 14 steps.

    Or perhaps Ted already was a member, but he stumbled on the steps.

    http://www.ha-fs.org/14-steps.htm

  117. #117 Marion Delgado
    January 27, 2009

    My science teacher, Mr. Freshwater, says the origin of life is complicated, but sex is not. Sin is sin.

    And you are a bad, bad man. I hope you get the coil!

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