Pharyngula

GOATS ON FIRE!

Kooks are like stray cats: give them a little bit of attention, and they end up following you everywhere, making annoying squalling noises and clawing at your door. A perfect example is David Mabus aka Dennis Markuze aka That Insane Prat, who, now that registration is a barrier to posting his little kook-droppings here, has taken to trying to flood my mailbox. Ha ha, the laugh is on him, my mailbox is already flooded! Also, I’ve got filters up the wazoo there, anyway.

There a whole lot of skeptics (and the entire faculty of the University of Minnesota Morris, too, who have marveled and laughed at is output) who have been getting these lunatic emails, but I just filter them and delete them. However, Rebecca Watson has pointed out one felicitous random phrase from his recent eruption: GOATS ON FIRE! It’s just sitting there. I have no idea what he’s talking about. But it does seem to me to be a useful term for flagging weird stuff, so I’ve added it to my email filters to highlight any comments that use the phrase. It’ll be handy for bringing the crazy to my attention…as long as you don’t abuse it.

And again, the stray cat effect: crazy David Cumming, author of the God Equation, really wants my attention, and sent me a four page summary of his reasoning. It was too long and too stupid, so I only skimmed it, but in case anyone else wants to add it to their cracked pot collection, I’ve scanned it in. No, don’t thank me. I’m just hoping one of you will shred it apart so that Cumming will follow you home.

It’s very GOATS ON FIRE! There is a section that asks, “Where is the science?”, but when I looked, there isn’t any there.

Comments

  1. #1 Hank Fox
    December 11, 2009

    Hey! One of my former blogging personas was GoatOnFire. I even had a burning goat logo.

    I’m not sure how I feel about someone snaking it for nefarious purposes. I was very attached to GoatOnFire.

  2. #2 Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology
    December 11, 2009

    IT?S TIME TO END THIS LITTLE BLASPHEMY CALLED PHARYNGULA!!!!one hundred one!!!

    BWAHAHAHA

    What? Why are you looking at me like I?m crazy.

  3. #3 John Morales
    December 11, 2009

    Wow, just looked at the scan.

    Irresistibly reminds me of numerological pyramidology.

  4. #4 Greg F.
    December 11, 2009

    I took a look at the paper. It’s numerology plain and simple…

    http://worldofweirdthings.com/2009/12/06/deconstructing-the-god-equation/

    The fact that the Cumming is amazed that he can jumble random numbers together, multiply them by random things and make a pattern out of them with daydreaming about what they mean should be a sign that he needs a vacation.

  5. #5 Feynmaniac
    December 11, 2009

    Did the Montreal police ever pay him a visit for those death threats he sent you?

  6. #6 MadScientist
    December 11, 2009

    Is that a religious thing, like burning sheep or burning witches (what a waste of sheep and witches)? Burnt goat is no good, but a well-made goat stew – yummy! I just don’t know why the gardener can’t understand why I lick my lips when his pet goat trundles by.

  7. #7 Janine, She Wolf Of Pharyngula, OM
    December 11, 2009

    If your mem’ry serves you well
    We were goin’ to meet again and wait
    So I’m goin’ to unpack all my things And sit before it gets too late

    No man alive will come to you
    With another tale to tell
    And you know that we shall meet again
    If your mem’ry serves you well

    This goat’s on fire
    Rolling down the road
    Best notify my next of kin
    This goat shall explode!

    If your mem’ry serves you well
    I was goin’ to confiscate your face
    And wrap it up in a sailor’s knot
    And hide it in your case

    If I knew for sure that it was yours …
    But it was oh so hard to tell
    And you knew that we would meet again
    If your mem’ry serves you well

    This goat’s on fire
    Rolling down the road
    Best notify my next of kin
    This goat shall explode!

    If your mem’ry serves you well
    You’ll remember you’re the one
    That called on me to call on them
    To get you your favors done

    And after ev’ry plan had failed
    And there was nothing more to tell
    You knew that we would meet again
    If your mem’ry serves you well

    This goat’s on fire
    Rolling down the road
    Best notify my next of kin
    This goat shall explode!

  8. #8 The Science Pundit
    December 11, 2009

    Excellent! We now have an answer to the question

    WHAT ABOUT PYGMIES AND DWARFS?

    GOATS ON FIRE!

    I love it!

  9. #9 Feynmaniac
    December 11, 2009

    GOATS ON FIRE…..awesome band name.

  10. #10 SmartLX
    December 11, 2009

    The goats, the goats, the goats are on fire…

    Probably a devil reference using outdated iconography, originally, but it’s your catchphrase now. Go with it.

  11. #11 SC OM
    December 11, 2009
  12. #12 Caine
    December 11, 2009

    Goats on fire would make a great expression – “Goats on fire, did I ever have a fucked up day!” It’s too good to waste. Besides, that will piss on Markuze’s prophecy parade lunacy a bit.

  13. #13 rixaeton
    December 11, 2009

    Hmm… Goats on Fire! Poor goats – their coats are not asbestos.

    Cummings Sloppy formula: It is poor evidence for a creator when Cummings insists on using an accuracy of 10 decimal places in the equation, and it only agrees to three or four decimal places. So the Earth, Moon and Sun (and the rest of the universe) were created with a fudge factor of +/- 0.001%?

    Heh: The transit of Venus is used to measure the Thom – doesn’t Venus occasionally stop and go backwards?

  14. #14 John Morales
    December 11, 2009

    Caprifraglantiae?

  15. #15 Feynmaniac
    December 11, 2009

    It seems like every Squidmas Cthulhu blesses us with a new phrase. Last year it was Happy Monkey. This year it’s GOATS ON FIRE.

  16. #16 ~Pharyngulette~
    December 11, 2009

    I love it. It can be this year’s holiday phrase:

    “Goats on fire, sir!”
    “And a very Happy Monkey to you, lad.”

  17. #17 Pyrrhonic
    December 11, 2009

    Even if there is a pattern, it doesn’t imply design. Why is this so hard to understand? Let the equation be accurate. All it means is that there’s a pattern. Any other conclusions remain speculative until positive evidence can be adduced to support it. Appearance does not necessarily imply truth.

    /mini-rant

  18. #18 SEF
    December 11, 2009

    Perhaps it’s an anagram. Eg:

    ROASTING FOE

    FEASTING ROO

    FIRST ONE AGO

    GO, FAIR STONE

    etc

  19. #19 Janine, She Wolf Of Pharyngula, OM
    December 11, 2009

    Take you high and higher to the world you belong
    GOATS ON FIRE creates love desire
    High and higher to your place on the throne

  20. #20 ~Pharyngulette~
    December 11, 2009

    Please note, I was clearly 4 minutes slow in typing my comment – not merely aping the fine mind of Feynmaniac.

  21. #21 'Tis Himself, OM
    December 11, 2009

    The Cumming “God Equation” was deconstructed on the God Equation thread and again on the David Cumming replies thread.

    Essentially he’s taken arbitrary numbers, mashed them together, and determined that frequency × wavelength = C. Therefore God.

  22. #22 Gregory Greenwood
    December 11, 2009

    *Sigh* Is that short sighted sociopath in the sky smiting random animals again? I swear, if it’s not setting up snakes as fall guys, causing amphibians to fall to a messy death from the clouds or killing off millions of fish with red algal blooms in the Nile, it’s burning ruminants alive.

    What is that bloke’s problem? PETA are going to be pissed.

  23. #23 Janine, She Wolf Of Pharyngula, OM
    December 11, 2009

    At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet
    And a freight train running through the
    Middle of my head
    Only you can cool my desire
    GOATS ON FIRE

  24. #24 calladus
    December 11, 2009

    The speed of light is calculated using the equation is: 1420,405,750 cycles per second (frequency(Hz)) multiplied by 0.2544690072 Thoms (wavelength). this works out at 361,437,469.8 Thoms/sec.

    Speed = distance x time. Frequency != time.

    Mr. Cumming seems to have confused the relationship of T = 1/f as meaning that frequency and time are the same, missing that the relationship indicates the period of an individual waveform versus the number of waves per second.

    Whoever his “scientists working in Edinburgh and Yorkshire” happen to be… they’re rubbish.

  25. #25 Janine, She Wolf Of Pharyngula, OM
    December 11, 2009

    I was born in this town
    Live here my whole life
    Probably come to die in this town
    Live here my whole life
    Never anything to do in this town
    Live here my whole life
    Never anything to do in this town
    Live here my whole life
    Probably learn to die in this town
    Live here my whole life
    Nothing to do, sit around at home
    Sit around at home, stare at the walls
    Stare at each other and wait till we die
    Stare at each other and wait till we die
    Probably come to die in this town
    Live here my whole life
    There’s Kerosene around, something to do
    There’s Kerosene around, she’s something to do
    There’s Kerosene around, she’s something to do
    There’s Kerosene around, we’ll find something to do
    Kerosene around, she’s something to do
    Kerosene around, set GOATS ON FIRE
    Set GOATS ON FIRE, Kerosene
    Set GOATS ON FIRE, Kerosene
    Set GOATS ON FIRE, Kerosene
    Set GOATS ON FIRE, Kerosene
    Set GOATS ON FIRE

  26. #26 rixaeton
    December 11, 2009

    #22: Emotional blackmail.

    “Ok, I have had it with you guys – I’ve tried to get you to get along using snakes, frogs and fish – if you guys are not going to play nice I’ll… I’ll set fire to the goat! Really, I will! I know how much you like goats (being omnipotent and all that) so don’t pretend it won’t hurt you.”

  27. #27 Blake Stacey
    December 11, 2009

    Mabus/Markuze has been spamming my blag, too, along with a few others I read (he’s showed up at EvolutionBlog and Respectful Insolence, for example). The fact that I delete his comments before they get out of moderation never seems to discourage the fellow.

    It seems like every Squidmas Cthulhu blesses us with a new phrase. Last year it was Happy Monkey. This year it’s GOATS ON FIRE.

    We also have a new crop of Cthulhu carols.

  28. #28 destlund
    December 11, 2009

    Janine for OM. Oh, wait.

  29. #29 Sven DiMilo
    December 11, 2009

    As I noted earlier on The Thread Everlasting, Cr*zy M*bus left one of his li’l comment-turds over at Michael B

  30. #30 Brian
    December 11, 2009

    There is a section that asks, “Where is the science?”, but when I looked, there isn’t any there.

    Oh sorry, my bad. I found the science lying around on the floor, so I put it away. If you need it, it’s over there, just behind that burning goat.

  31. #31 vitreosity
    December 11, 2009

    It’s happened too many times.
    Next time I find one on tippy-toes atop the car, reaching for pecan leaves it’ll be…
    GOATS ON FIRE!

  32. #32 kopd
    December 11, 2009

    I have a new catchphrase. I still like “keep fucking that chicken” but “goats on fire” certainly looks useful.

  33. #33 llewelly
    December 11, 2009

    Heh: The transit of Venus is used to measure the Thom – doesn’t Venus occasionally stop and go backwards?

    It does. But that’s not the difficult part. The difficult part is when Venus gets vomited out of Jupiter.

  34. #34 Dust
    December 11, 2009

    Goats on Fire but that PZ Myers is a poopey head!

  35. #35 cicely
    December 11, 2009

    “Goats on fire, dogs and cats living together….mass hysteria!”

  36. #36 AJ Milne
    December 11, 2009

    Oh, won’t someone please think of the Caprinae!

  37. #37 eddie
    December 11, 2009

    Setting goats on fire is a kinda unofficial tradfition this time o’year;

    http://www.fusion.com.au/blog/archive/2009/12/03/Surprise03.aspx

  38. #38 pcarini
    December 11, 2009

    Enough is ENOUGH!

    I’ve had it with these motherfucking goats on motherfucking fire!

    (also bonus points to Janine for the Dylan)

  39. #39 Ignescent
    December 11, 2009

    AJ is right. Think of Caprinae!

  40. #40 Don Smith
    December 11, 2009

    If you check out the last section, he seems to think 366 degrees make up a full circle.

  41. #41 Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology
    December 11, 2009

    motherfumotherfucking goats on motherfucking firecking fire

    Oh boy what type of p0rn do you watch?

  42. #42 CunningLingus
    December 11, 2009

    Personally. i’m “boggled” this retard (Cummings, too close to my nic for comfort) can even breathe without the aid of an iron lung !

  43. #43 'Tis Himself, OM
    December 11, 2009

    What is the temperature of a burning goat expressed in centiThoms per megahurts?

  44. #44 RichVR
    December 11, 2009

    Pardon the threadjack:

    Kent Hovind’s “doctoral dissertation” is available for perusal and ridicule here:

    http://wikileaks.org/wiki/Young-earth_creationist_Kent_Hovind%27s_doctoral_dissertation

  45. #45 'Tis Himself, OM
    December 11, 2009

    RichVR

    If you wander over to the Kent Hovind’s Doctoral Dissertation thread you’ll find a discussion of the very topic you linked to.

  46. #46 RichVR
    December 11, 2009

    Oops. Sorry.

  47. #47 pcarini
    December 11, 2009

    Everywhere I look I see exclusive huddled uninviting
    Shelter is a privilege of the sane and competent

    GOATS ON FIRE keep me warm
    I’m alone to watch them burn
    GOATS ON FIRE

    Exposure is a pitiful
    and pointless way of dying
    Before it gets me,
    I’ll build a funeral pyre

    GOATS ON FIRE keep me warm
    I’m alone to watch them burn
    GOATS ON FIRE

    I’m a man and my dignity won’t wave
    Tonight buildings rage!

    GOATS ON FIRE keep me warm
    Feels so good to watch them burn
    GOATS ON FIRE

    GOATS ON FIRE keep me warm
    I’m alone to watch them burn
    GOATS ON FIRE

    GOATS ON FIRE keep me warm
    Feels so good to watch them burn
    GOATS ON FIRE

  48. #48 RichVR
    December 11, 2009

    I am reminded of the Ira Levin anagram riddle about ROAST MULES.

    Does anyone else recall this?

    What single ten letter word can you get from ROAST MULES that any child might use?

  49. #49 Rev. BigDumbChimp
    December 11, 2009

    I’m still waiting for my FINISHED

  50. #50 Rev. BigDumbChimp
    December 11, 2009

    Janine with the Big Black entry.

    /hat tip

  51. #51 Yoritomo
    December 11, 2009

    calladus @24:
    Actually that’s speed = distance / time. His equation of speed = frequency * wavelength is correct. But unfortunately there are several other errors:

    * 1/81 does not equal 0.0123456789 as claimed, but rather 0.012345679012345679… This doesn’t really get better if one instead directly takes the quotient of the moon’s and the earth’s mass. I could find their masses only up to five digits, but the quotient seems to be 0.012300… rather than 0.0123456789. The difference is greater than rounding can account for.

    * His hydrogen-alpha frequency is off a little: He claims 1,420,405,750 Hz, where Wikipedia gives 1,420,405,751.77 Hz.

    * Whether I take his numbers or the precise ones, I arrive at a “speed of light” of 361,449,241 Thoms/sec (plus/minus one, depending on whose numbers I use) for the speed of light, not at his claimed value of 361,437,469.8. Multiplication fail? Also note that he claimed on page 1 that the result would be 361,448.

    * Thus, using the correct multiplication and his factor of 0.82945 m/Thom, the speed of light becomes 299,804,073 +- 1 m/s instead of his value of 299,794,309.8 m/s – c equals 299,792,458 m/s. That’s a precision of about 99,996%. Things will only get worse if we use the “second, completely independent” value for a Thom (that apparently even he doesn’t know what a Thom really is makes all this rather pointless – but apparently we’re supposed to take this equation as the definition of the Thom anyway. He does note that then reasoning becomes circular, but that doesn’t dissuade him).

    That’s about the first three pages. Then it truly goes off the deep end, with numbers pulled form thin air despite his claims that they’re somehow significant.

    Seems to have been a rather incompetent designer. Human engineering is more precise than that.

  52. #52 RagingBullwinkle
    December 11, 2009

    (sung to the tune of Girls on Film by Duran Duran)

    Goats on Fire, Goats on Fire, Goats on Fire, Goats on Fire

    Lipstick on a pig and hisreasoning is falling
    In miles of stupidity where Cummings Fails

  53. #53 vitreosity
    December 11, 2009

    Randy nanny flips her tail in his face as billy anoints himself. If only the fence weren’t there. The young kids are curious but don’t really understand… Goats on Fire!

  54. #54 Ben in Texas
    December 11, 2009

    It’s been several hours. Is there not a T-shirt design yet? You people are slackers.

  55. #55 F
    December 11, 2009

    Dammit Janine.

    First thing I thought of, and you were there.
    (You rock.)

  56. #56 F
    December 11, 2009

    No friggin way! Dylan and Big Black?
    You’re killin’ me.

  57. #57 MAJeff, OM
    December 11, 2009

    Janine nailed what I was thinking of, with Dylan. But, I actually know it as the theme for Absolutely Fabulous. In a way, the goats make more sense in the AbFab context.

  58. #58 F
    December 11, 2009

    LOL. AbFab!
    I’d forgotten that was used as the theme.

  59. #59 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    December 11, 2009

    Maaa-aaaa-aaaa.

    Maa-aaaa-aaaa.

    That is all.

    P.S. – Oops, forgot – I have your FINISHED, Rev. Please come pick it up; my back porch is too cluttered.

  60. #60 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    December 11, 2009

    Oh, hell yes. The best sitcom. Ever.

    “If the models get any younger, Pats, they’ll be chucking fetuses down the catwalk.”

    “It’s all cracks and flaps dangling under the crepe de chine.”

    - Magda

  61. #61 F
    December 11, 2009

    OORT GEAS FIN?

  62. #62 MAJeff, OM
    December 11, 2009

    Patsy is my role model for life.

  63. #63 Mr T
    December 11, 2009

    Is this sorta like SHEEP ON ICE?

  64. #64 Caine
    December 11, 2009

    Well, the village idiot showed up at my photography gallery and left me the standard nonsense, including this little line:

    you little shits even talk about me….

    I had copied and pasted the whole mess, but it’s rightly hung up in moderation now. Looks like he plans on hitting everyone who has a link attached to their name.

  65. #65 Midnight Rambler
    December 11, 2009

    Apparently, the Swedes are very into setting goats on fire this time of year.

  66. #66 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    December 11, 2009

    Patsy is my role model for life.

    Oh, yes, oh yes.

    “Abort Eddie, abort!”

    “Mum, she burned me with her cigarette!”

    “Accident.”

  67. #67 nixscripter
    December 11, 2009

    Skimmming Kent Hovind’s doctoral dissertation, dangerous though that is, I think I have a pretty good summary:

    1. The Bible is morally right.
    2. Atheists are “morally wicked”.
    3. The two ways to look at the universe are (a) a some big, aimless, pointless machine or (b) construction from God.
    4. ID concurrs with 3b.
    5. Therefore, ID is correct.

    Who gave him his PhD, again?

  68. #68 Owlmirror
    December 11, 2009

    Men Who Stare at GOATS ON FIRE.

    Shub-Niggurath, The Black GOAT ON FIRE of the Woods with a Thousand Young GOATS ON FIRE.

    GOATSE.cx ON FIRE

    But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory. Before him all the nations will be gathered, and he will separate them one from another, as a shepherd separates the sheep from the GOATS ON FIRE.

    Respectively, 1d8 SAN LOSS, 1d10 SAN LOSS, 2d20 SAN LOSS, and 1d30 SAN LOSS

  69. #69 F
    December 11, 2009

    No save?

  70. #70 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    December 11, 2009

    No save?

    What?

  71. #71 Aaron Golas
    December 11, 2009

    Relevant line at 3:16

  72. #72 F
    December 11, 2009

    I’m through with illusions just delusions for now
    I’ve took a step to the edge but I’ve been walking for miles
    It was a very temporary waste of time
    Is there really sucha thing as a waste of time?
    Can’t let myself be restrained
    Let perceptions be so torn
    Kill confusion by killing options
    GOATS ON FIRE to stay warm
    Can’t keep running from the rain
    Can’t live my life on the edge of the storm
    Kill confusion by killing options
    GOATS ON FIRE to stay warm.
    I’m sick of emotions always tearing the inside
    Watching things crumble,letting all things slide,
    very temporary waste of time,
    is there really such a thing as a waste of time?
    Can’t let myself be restrained
    Can’t live my life on the edge of the storm
    Kill confusion by killing options
    GOATS ON FIRE to stay warm
    Can’t keep running from the rain,
    let perceptions be so torn,
    kill confusion by killing options,
    GOATS ON FIRE to stay warm
    Can’t let myself be restrained
    I can’t live my life on the edge of the storm
    Kill confusion by killing options
    GOATS ON FIRE to stay warm
    Can’t let myself be restrained
    Can’t live my life on the edge of the storm
    Kill confusion by killing options
    GOATS ON FIRE to stay warm
    I’m through with illusions delusions for now
    I’ve stepped to the edge
    I’ve been walking for miles
    It was a very temporary waste of time
    Is this really such a thing as a waste of time?
    Can’t let myself be restrained
    I can’t live my life on the edge of the storm
    Kill confusion by killing options
    GOATS ON FIRE to stay warm
    Can’t let myself be restrained
    I can’t live my life on the edge of the storm
    kill confusion by killing options
    GOATS ON FIRE TO STAY WARM!

  73. #73 Owlmirror
    December 12, 2009

    No saving throw against SAN LOSS. This is SRS BIZNESS.

  74. #74 RickR
    December 12, 2009

    Eddy- “You can drop the attitude, you only work in a shop.”

  75. #75 Aaron Golas
    December 12, 2009

    Or, y’know, here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bar3GOzDNzg (rackin’ frackin’…)

  76. #76 Leland
    December 12, 2009

    Here’s the t-shirt:

    http://www.zazzle.com/goats_on_fire_t_shirt-235502007143750714

    Sorry for the delay.

    (Also, I realize that there is only one goat, not “goats.” Multiple burning goats just made the shirt too busy.)

  77. #77 F
    December 12, 2009

    Respectively, 1d8 SAN LOSS, 1d10 SAN LOSS, 2d20 SAN LOSS, and 1d30 SAN LOSS

    Owlmirror is not having any luck with saving throws.

    1d8 SAN LOSS = Roll 1 8-sided die to determine loss of sanity damage taken from a Men Who Stare at GOATS ON FIRE attack.

    RPG stuff. (No, not rocket-propelled grenades.) ;)

  78. #78 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    December 12, 2009

    New Age Lady: The flow from my essential oils are passing into you! Yes – they’re flowing. Can you feel them?

    Eddie: No, but I can smell them.

  79. #79 F
    December 12, 2009

    Er, that was for Josh, Official SpokesGay.

    And I stand corrected. There are no saving throws for this. Automatic damage!

    Now I just need to know what the critical hit chart looks like for this SRS BIZNESS, assuming this isn’t just an automatic hit. (I sure hope the latter damage rolls are for criticals, or GOATS ON FIRE!

  80. #80 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    December 12, 2009

    Er, that was for Josh, Official SpokesGay.

    And I stand corrected. There are no saving throws for this. Automatic damage!

    I confess – I’m totally lost. No idea what anyone’s talking about. The SpokesGay is silenced.

  81. #81 F
    December 12, 2009

    I’m not so sure the New Age Lady can tell the difference between essential oils and GOATS ON FIRE.

    Eddy: “Soon I’ll be bendy like Madonna, darling. Then I’ll be able to kiss my own ass from both directions.”

  82. #82 RickR
    December 12, 2009

    Patsy: “Darling, if you want to talk bollocks and discover the meaning of life, you’re better off downing a bottle of whiskey. At least that way, you’re unconscious by the time you start to take yourself seriously.”

  83. #83 F
    December 12, 2009

    Oi, Josh. I don’t intend to be obtuse.

    Thing is, if you’ve never played Role Playing Games (think: Dungeons and Dragons), then you’ll not have a point of reference.

    Most actions are determined to have varying degrees of success or failure by rolling dice. There are a variety of geometric solids used for these dice. d20 is a 20-sided die.

    Characters have attributes with associated numerical values, like DEX, INT, WIS (dexterity, intelligence, wisdom), and this is where we get SAN (sanity).

    Please forgive geek-out.

  84. #84 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    December 12, 2009

    Oi, Josh. I don’t intend to be obtuse.

    No, it’s I who’s obtuse:) I suspected it was about RP. The only RP language I speak is WoW.

    /hangs head in shame

  85. #85 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    December 12, 2009

    Rick and F, please. . .you’re instigating me to keep going!

    Sapphie: “MP in drug-crazed sex romp with fash mag slag.”

  86. #86 Rorschach
    December 12, 2009

    Who’s Patsy ? She sounds wise…:)

  87. #87 F
    December 12, 2009

    Oh, crap. Now what was that one from Hospital?

  88. #88 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    December 12, 2009

    F:

    Jamaican nurse: “Oh hello, dear, I thought I recognized you!”

    White nurse whispering to Jamaican nurse: “It’s that slag from the newspapers!”

  89. #89 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    December 12, 2009
  90. #90 F
    December 12, 2009

    “LOCAL Anaesthetic?! LOCAL Anaesthetic?! What is this, Eastern Europe?! I want total sensory deprivation and BACK-up drugs!”

  91. #91 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    December 12, 2009

    Fa, LOL!!

    Nurse, wheeling cart: “Benson and Hedges or Marlboro?”

    Pats: “Both! And bring me a wine list.”

  92. #92 F
    December 12, 2009

    Josh, tease us not with faux links! (No URL in page source, either.)

  93. #93 Janine, She Wolf Of Pharyngula, OM
    December 12, 2009

    GOATS Is A Burning Thing
    And It Makes A Fiery Ring
    Bound By Wild Desire
    I Fell Into GOATS ON FIRE

    I Fell Into A Burning GOATS ON FIRE
    I Went Down, Down, Down
    And The Flames Went Higher

    And It Burns, Burns, Burns
    The GOATS ON FIRE
    The GOATS ON FIRE

    I Fell Into A Burning GOATS ON FIRE
    I Went Down, Down, Down
    And The Flames Went Higher

    And It Burns, Burns, Burns
    The GOATS ON FIRE
    The GOATS ON FIRE

    The Taste Of Love Is Sweet
    When Hearts Like Ours Meet
    I Fell For You Like A Child
    Oh, But The Fire Went Wild

    I Fell Into A Burning GOATS ON FIRE
    I Went Down, Down, Down
    And The Flames Went Higher

    And It Burns, Burns, Burns
    The GOATS ON FIRE
    The GOATS ON FIRE

    I Fell Into A Burning GOATS OF FIRE
    I Went Down, Down, Down
    And The Flames Went Higher

    And It Burns, Burns, Burns
    The GOATS ON FIRE
    The GOATS ON FIRE

    And It Burns, Burns, Burns
    The GOATS ON FIRE
    The GOATS ON FIRE

    Years ago, on an other forun, I used Patsy Stone as my icon. Sadly, not many knew who she was.

  94. #94 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    December 12, 2009

    Oh, shoot! Sorry about that. Lemme try again. Welcome to my gracious drawing room.

  95. #95 jsplegge.myopenid.com
    December 12, 2009

    NO GOATS, NO GLORY

  96. #96 Janine, She Wolf Of Pharyngula, OM
    December 12, 2009

    Loved the flashback scene in Morocco. Patsy was wearing a Sargent Pepper’s era suit and a cheesy mustache. Saffie says that she did not know that Patsy was a man. Eddie said that it fell off.

  97. #97 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    December 12, 2009

    Janine, yes! “Nothing’s certain Eddie, not for any of us.”

  98. #98 Gyeong Hwa Pak, the Pikachu of Anthropology
    December 12, 2009

    OMG Janine, loved the remake of the ring of fire!

  99. #99 aumtattoo
    December 12, 2009
  100. #100 jschmeau
    December 12, 2009

    OK. I’ve got more mathematical proof…
    1 + 2 = 3 The exact number of entities in the Holy Trinity. God exists. Jesus is the Son of God. The Holy Ghost is the is the shiznit. It’s right there in the maths. Why bother with such confusing maths when there are much simpler equations that can be conjured to support your delusion and many that most Christians can understand easily? How about any number divided by the number of true Gods equals that very same number? It’s so obvious.

  101. #101 Policy Merchant
    December 12, 2009

    The Men Who Stare At Goats…..

    Because their on fire.

  102. #102 windy
    December 12, 2009

    Feel my heat takin’ you higher, burn with me, GOATS ON FIRE
    Paint the sky with desire, angel fly, GOATS ON FIRE

  103. #103 Leland
    December 12, 2009

    I added a T-shirt version with just the words for anyone who doesn’t want a picture of a burning goat:

    http://www.zazzle.com/goats_on_fire_t_shirt-235087080147628224?rf=238234461969567321

  104. #104 Richard Healy
    December 12, 2009

    He’s over on Atheists Nexus too.

    Screaming about how Atheism is dead because of Nostrodamus or something.

  105. #105 Sili
    December 12, 2009

    I can’t find it on YouTube, but I think the goats on fire is a Ken “Piglet Fucker” Ham thing.

    Jo Brand used to do a routine about the internet, observing how noöne was ever alone in their kinks anymore: “Google ‘I want to have sex with goats on fire’ and the search will reply with ‘specify breed and gender of goat’.”

  106. #106 scooterKPFT
    December 12, 2009

    Copyright David Cumming©2009

    OMG, he copyrighted that shit? Wouldn’t want anybody stealing away with that pile while it is still steaming.

    OT
    The Wait is OVAR !!!11!
    War on XMASS ’09 !!!11!
    Let the Carnage BEGIN !!!11!

    PLAY

    ScooterMix: Liberals Lie, Chipmunks Die
    Patton Oswald critiques Christmas Shoes by New Song
    Theological Lingo by Bible Launch
    Beginning to blah blah blah by Dean Martin
    Christma-Hanu-Rama-Ka-Dana-Kwanza by Roy Zimmerman
    Patton Oswald demystifies Sky Cake
    Inspirational thoughts, feeling the Love with Pat Condell
    Pouring Poison by Bible Launch

    New Hit Single: Liberals Lie, Chipmunks DIE

  107. #107 pcarini
    December 12, 2009

    … because of Nostrodamus or something.

    This is my new explanation for everything from here on out.

    (except for GOATS ON FIRE which need no explanation)

  108. #108 Aquaria
    December 12, 2009

    Goats on fire?

    Cabrito all around!

    Woo-hoo!

  109. #109 Dave Dell
    December 12, 2009

    Matthew Chapter 25. The blessed ones are traditionally sheep. The accursed ones are traditionally goats.

    At first I thought it might be a reference to the Trinity. You know, the Farter, Song and Holy Goat.

  110. #110 Aquaria
    December 12, 2009

    My favorite AbFab:

    Eddie: Thank God for Grozny. Honestly. Well, darling, if it wasn’t for that lovely little Russian army advancing, thrashing out all those gorgeous little heirlooms in my direction, I don’t know what I’d do. Oh, you should see, darling, in the shop I’ve got at the moment this fabulous little samovar with a little old woman still attached to it, sweetie. Clinging on for dear life. Having to lure her off with dry bread crumbs so that I could get a decent price.

  111. #111 dannystevens.myopenid.com
    December 12, 2009

    Low men in Yellow Coats
    come with GOATS ON FIRE..
    Ia Shub Nigrath,
    but the fire is Azathoth’s.

    (Actually a save negates half the SAN loss,
    and we all know about Elder Sign, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWT07iRvI9M)

  112. #113 'Tis Himself, OM
    December 12, 2009

    Bye, bye, Miss American Pie
    Drove my Chevy to the goat but the goat was on fire
    Them good ole goats were drinking whiskey and rye
    Singing “This’ll be the day that I die,
    This’ll be the day that I die.”

  113. #114 shonny
    December 12, 2009

    This burning goat business reminds me that I am still convinced that Johnny Cash’s Ring of Fire is really just describing particularly itchy and sore haemorrhoids.
    Yeah, talking from experience!

  114. #115 NoFear
    December 12, 2009

    Reminds me of a Bruce Springsteen song:

    “Hey little kid is your daddy home
    did he go away and leave you all alone?
    I got a bad desire
    Ooh Ooh Ooh goats on fire”

  115. #116 Ben in Texas
    December 12, 2009

    Well done, Leland!

  116. #117 Ben in Texas
    December 12, 2009

    WTF? Those GOF really made me say OMG.

  117. #118 Ben in Texas
    December 12, 2009

    Come on baby, goats on fire.
    Come on baby, goats on fire.
    Try to set the goat on fire.
    Try to set the goat on fiyyyyyyeeeeeerrrrrrrr.

  118. #119 'Tis Himself, OM
    December 12, 2009

    Whose goat’s on fire I think I know
    His house is in the village though.
    He will not see me stopping here
    To watch his goat fill up with flame.

    (With apologies to Robert Frost)

  119. #120 IanKoro
    December 12, 2009

    This is my favorite quote from David Cumming’s nonsense: “As a side note, the values 100 and 40,000 used above in calculations of circumference, are not arbitrary numbers, but are very significant values in the large volume of
    research about the message embedded in the characteristcs of the Solar system. The larger body of research does not feature in this short review and explanation of the Equation of Creation.”

    Thanks… that totally convinces me those aren’t totally arbitrary numbers pulled from your ass. What makes them significant values in research about the “message embedded in the Solar System” (obviously a very important and active field of research)? Why are they applicable here? I’m not even going to give the vaguest of explanations in this four page paper intended to convince scientists of my credibility.

  120. #121 devnull73.myopenid.com
    December 12, 2009

    10 point if you guess the artist/title/album

    1000000000002 points if you own it on vinyl :)

    I look at you and my blood boils hot,
    I feel my temperature rise
    I want it all, give me what you got,
    there’s hunger in your eyes
    I’m getting closer, baby hear me breathe
    You know the way to give me what I need
    Just let me love you and you’ll never leave

    Chorus:
    Feel my heat takin’ you higher,
    burn with me, goats are on fire
    Paint the sky with desire,
    angel fly, goats are on fire

    I got a fever ragin’ in my heart,
    you make me shiver and shake
    Baby don’t stop,
    take it to the top, eat it like a piece of cake
    You’re comin’ closer, I can hear you breathe
    You drive me crazy when you start to tease
    You could bring the devil to his knees

    chorus
    Oho goats are on fire, oho goats are on fire, oho

    I’m getting closer, baby hear me breathe
    You know the way to give me what I need
    Just let me love you and you’ll never leave
    chorus repeats out

  121. #122 dutchdoc
    December 12, 2009

    I have a tip for David Cumming:

    Start your paper with:

    “Hello, my name is David Cumming”

    .. and send it to Patriot University.

    They will give you a PhD for it!

  122. #123 negentropyeater
    December 12, 2009

    Video of Goat on fire in Sweden :

    Gävlebocken

    (caution… AbbA soundtrack may not be everybody’s taste)

  123. #124 negentropyeater
    December 12, 2009
  124. #125 creating trons
    December 12, 2009
  125. #126 creating trons
    December 12, 2009

    ooh, it does it by itself.

    much smarter than I…

  126. #127 SEF
    December 12, 2009

    GOATS ON FIRE = FEARING SOOT!

  127. #128 dutchdoc
    December 12, 2009

    Regarding David Cumming’s “God Equation”:

    For people who can read Dutch: here’s a link to a humorous parody on deriving the weirdest formula’s and ‘proofs’ from some simple measurements in ones own house, by astronomer and former chairman of the Dutch Skeptic Society “Skepsis”, Kees de Jager:

    http://www.skepsis.nl/schemerlamp.html

    (Wish someone would translate this: it’s hilarious!)

  128. #129 monado
    December 12, 2009

    The only “goats on fire” reference that I remember was a comment made by my SO that there are discussion groups for everything you can think of, e.g. if you’re interested in sex with goats on fire, you can find a discussion group for like-minded people.

  129. #130 OurDeadSelves
    December 12, 2009

    Jo Brand used to do a routine about the internet, observing how noöne was ever alone in their kinks anymore: “Google ‘I want to have sex with goats on fire’ and the search will reply with ‘specify breed and gender of goat’.”

    Also known as Rule 34.

  130. #131 Dust
    December 12, 2009

    @Dave Dell

    the Trinity. You know, the Farter, Song and Holy Goat

    Raaaaa-men!

  131. #132 Dust
    December 12, 2009

    I am the Goat hell fire and I bring you…
    Fire, I’ll take you to burn.
    Fire, I’ll take you to learn.
    I’ll see you burn!
    You fought hard and you saved and learned,
    But all of it’s gonna burn.
    And your mind, your tiny mind,
    You know you’ve really been so blind.
    Now’s your time burn your mind.
    You’re falling far too far behind.
    Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, you gonna burn!
    Fire, to destroy all you’ve done.
    Fire, to end all you’ve become.
    I’ll feel you burn!

  132. #133 Vashti
    December 12, 2009

    I love Saturday mornings: Car Talk, Wait Wait… Don’t tell me, and Goats on Fire!

  133. #134 F
    December 12, 2009

    devnull73

    That can only be the ragin sounds of teh Kiss.

  134. #135 F
    December 12, 2009

    And even though this was already covered, I am compelled to post my version of the chorus:

    This GOATS ON FIRE
    Strollin’ down the road
    Best notify my nest of kids
    This goat shall explode

  135. #136 Draken
    December 12, 2009

    My goatee’s on fire.

  136. #137 Bone Oboe
    December 12, 2009

    Janine, She Wolf Of Pharyngula, OM @ #93, that’s the one I was waiting for.

    Who’s Big Black?

  137. #138 Acronym Jim
    December 12, 2009

    Multiple burning goats just made the shirt too busy.)

    But Leland, multiple burning goats could create a new internet meme. Think “three wolf moon” (Google for giggles).

    On a side note, I think I remember my grandfather exclaiming “GOATSAFIRE!” on occasion.

  138. #139 Sven DiMilo
    December 12, 2009

    Easily the most disjointed and puzzling comment thread for some time.
    I do recognize Arthur Brown (and his Crazy World) there @#132, though.

  139. #140 Janine, She Wolf Of Pharyngula, OM
    December 12, 2009

    Big Black was a hard core band from the eighties. With the use of a drum machine and guitars pushed into the extreme treble edge, Steve Albini maded some of the most off putting music of that time . Needless to say, I loved it. They released only two proper albums, Atomizer and Songs About Fucking.

    Kerosene

    You can find more of their stuff on YouTube. Look up Jordan, Minnesota.

  140. #141 SC OM
    December 12, 2009

    Great blazing goats! I just checked my blog, and I got one!

    …you little shits even talk about me….

    GOATS ON FIRE….

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssFaIhJkLsk

    I may have to save it…

  141. #142 SC OM
    December 12, 2009

    Ah, so he went there from this thread and the Molly page, and then proceeded to click on all of my links. Ay. What will Amy Goodman make of him, I wonder?

  142. #143 Sven DiMilo
    December 12, 2009

    A connectivity diagram of the pattern of his commenting activity would be fascinating. There’s probably a doctoral dissertation in Internet Psychology in it for somebody.

  143. #144 curiosity
    December 12, 2009

    The goat stood on the burning deck
    Whence all but he had fled;
    The flame that lit his hairy neck
    Shone round him o’er the dead.

    Yet beautiful and bright he stood,
    As born to blaze in flame;
    A ruminant of the Capra blood,
    A proud, though goat-like name.

    yes, I’m ashamed of myself.

  144. #145 Sili
    December 12, 2009

    I’m not a filker, I fear, but I’ll ask anyway. ‘Tis the Season, so has anyone done this one yet?

    Thanks, OurDeadSelves, I know rule 34 well enough. This just struck me as subtly different. ::goes to check OneManga::

  145. #146 Sven DiMilo
    December 12, 2009

    Started reading the Cumming document. I love how the bylined author refers to himself throughout in the third person, even quoting himself.
    But here’s the part I wanted to share:

    Omega represents all the characters of the base 10 number system. This is the number system we use. An omniscient Creator knows to use this number system to make us pay attention to this message. On the other hand, for those who believe that God is an ETI but nevertheless God, this is a very likely number system for any life form to use.

  146. #147 nejishiki
    December 12, 2009
  147. #148 Rey Fox
    December 12, 2009

    Yoooooouuuu, your goats are on fi-re.

  148. #149 MAJeff, OM
    December 12, 2009

    AbFab and goats?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfvGq97B7_U

    “Eddie, who is this?”

  149. #150 MAJeff, OM
    December 12, 2009

    And AbFab’s take on televangelism.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uw1cNE0kWiE

    Bo: “We were merely trying to release the poor from the burden of what little they have.”

  150. #151 F
    December 12, 2009


  151. #152 Joffan
    December 12, 2009

    RichVR

    ROAST MULES ~~ SOMERSAULT

    nice one.

    “Goats on fire” is a bit too agragrian for my tastes. Not something a pirate is likely to say. I can see Homer Simpson doing a food dream about the, though… “Mmmm, goats on fire.”

  152. #153 ktesibios
    December 12, 2009

    Goats on fire
    My love for you brought only misery
    Goats on fire
    Put out the flames and set this cold goat free.

  153. #154 Janine, She Wolf Of Pharyngula, OM
    December 12, 2009

    Too bad, Joffan. GOATS ON FIRE is something that an obsessive and insane man has to say. It has nothing to do with your tastes.

  154. #155 F
    December 12, 2009
  155. #156 TheBlackCat
    December 12, 2009

    The distance between my subwoofer and my TV stand is 235 mm. If you multiply that by the first 3 digits of e (2.72, to keep consistent significant figures), then add 28 (the length of a lunar month), you get 667, which is the value of the gravitational constant in nm^3/(dg*microsec^2) using the same number of significant figures.

  156. #157 F
    December 12, 2009

    Whoa!

  157. #158 Newfie
    December 12, 2009

    Flaming Goat
    Ingredients:

    * 1/4 oz Vodka
    * 1/4 oz Gin
    * 1/4 oz Rum
    * 1/4 oz Tequila
    * 1/4 oz Triple sec
    * 1/4 oz Blue Curacao
    * 1 splash Sour mix
    * Cranberry juice
    * Ice cubes
    * Bacardi 151 proof rum

    Mixing instructions:

    Mix vodka, gin, rum, tequila, triple sec and curacao. Add sour mix. Add Curacao until it’s dark purple. Fill glass with ice cubes and fload Bacardi 151 rum on top. Have the flame blown out before drinking add a straw.

  158. #159 'Tis Himself, OM
    December 12, 2009

    On the other hand, for those who believe that God is an ETI but nevertheless God, this is a very likely number system for any life form to use.

    12 is a more convenient number base than ten. For that matter, so is 60.

    Tom Lehrer had some thoughts about different number bases:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8Vb8CWJ-Ho

  159. #160 SQB
    December 12, 2009

    (Sorry, Bruce…)

    I’m down on the farm
    I turn on the Internet
    I didn’t notice
    My burning cigarette
    I thought it wouldn’t matter
    But it’s looking dire
    ‘Cause my goats… on… Fire
    (da-du-du-duh)

  160. #161 SmartLX
    December 12, 2009

    Looks like Mabus is using Goats on Fire to brag about his own notoriety.

    http://asktheatheist.com/?p=197&cpage=1#comment-324

  161. #162 SEF
    December 12, 2009

    “Holy sacrificial animals, Batman!”

  162. #163 Pareidolius
    December 12, 2009

    Pharyngulites, your Goat on Fire shirt is ready (bad Latin at no extra charge) . . .

    http://hellsnewsstand.blogspot.com/2009/12/goat-on-fire-shirt.html

    Did I mention you’ll have to print it yourself? Hey, whatta ya want for free . . .

  163. #164 eddie
    December 12, 2009

    “Want some whisky in your water?
    Sugar in your tea?
    What’s all these crazy questions they keep askin’ me?
    This is the strangest party I ever did see,
    Don’t set GOATS ALIGHT, I don’t wanna see.”

    Sorry, it is a stretch, but Acronym Jim’s Three Wolf Moon led me inexorably to Three Dog Night.

    Another obscure but cool reference in in You Little Shits.

    Also, thanks, Joffan @154. I was teh stumped.

  164. #165 Leland
    December 12, 2009

    Pareidolius @165:

    Great design!

    For anyone who is interested, it is possible to make it into a t-shirt here:

    http://www.zazzle.com/design_your_own_shirt-235200855528356796?rf=238234461969567321

    Just click on the “Customize it!” button and upload the design.

  165. #166 Pareidolius
    December 12, 2009

    My pleasure Leland . . .

    I can’t rhyme as well as Cuttlefish
    or reason well like Sastra
    so a shirt’s my contribution
    though my Latin’s a disastra.

    (I told you)

  166. #167 Calton
    December 12, 2009

    Yeah, I can sympathize about being bothered by kooks when you make the mistake of giving them any attention whatsoever. I myself have picked one up, a physics*/UFO/ESP crank named Jack Sarfatti, despite the fact I don’t really have a blog, readership, or even a background in science**. Apparently I’m the ringleader of a conspiracy to keep his groundbreaking and revolutionary ideas out of the public eye, and he and few of his nutty friend have been bombarding me with incoherent e-mails. Short of putting up e-mail filters, I can’t think of what else can be done, since the Dunning-Kruger Effect pretty much guarantees that arguing with these sorts is useless.

    *He seems to have actually managed to get a Ph.d from Cornell, though for all the use he’s made of it he might just as well have gotten it out of a Crackerjack box.

    **I started out in college as a chemistry major, but I switched.

  167. #168 PZ Myers
    December 12, 2009

    Oh, man, I remember Sarfatti. He’s a usenet legend, and is completely bonkers.

  168. #169 SC OM
    December 12, 2009

    Yoooooouuuu, your goats are on fi-re.

    But you say it’s/he’s/she’s just a friend
    But you say it’s/he’s/she’s just a friend

    Oh, baby, Yoooooouuuu…

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlbFMQ-Or_o

  169. #170 Dust
    December 13, 2009

    So he has an equation to prove God, eh? Well, ppsstt, lots of other nuts, crackpots and zealots ad nauseum have their own equtions to prove God. So what, but where, oh where, is the One. True. Equation. that proves GOATS ON FIRE?

    Ha! Some so called mathematicians….

  170. #171 aharleygyrl
    December 13, 2009

    The goat is burning (bocken brinner)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkMRAq5DSLg

  171. #172 aharleygyrl
    December 13, 2009

    Child/Lamb Baptised To Escape From kids/Goats’ Hell Fire

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6bZLtzkd9g

    religious people are nuts!

  172. #174 Peter McKellar
    December 13, 2009

    All these burning goats and no-one has suggested frying bacon?

  173. #175 Aquaria
    December 13, 2009

    The taste of love is sweet
    When hearts like ours meet
    I fell for you like a child
    Oh, Goats on Fire went wild

    I fell into a burning ring of fire
    I went down, down, down
    And the flames went higher

    And it burns, burns, burns
    The Goats on Fire
    The Goats on Fire

    BTW, can’t believe someone hasn’t done this one yet:

    You know that it would be untrue
    You know that I would be a liar
    If I was to say to you
    Girl, we couldn’t get much higher
    Come on baby, Goats on Fire
    Come on baby, Goats on Fire
    Try to see the Goats on Fire

    The time to hesitate is through
    No time to wallow in the mire
    Try now we can only lose
    And our love become a funeral pyre
    Come on baby, Goats on Fire
    Come on baby, Goats on Fire
    Try to see the Goats on Fire, yeah

  174. #176 Ragutis
    December 13, 2009
  175. #177 Sauceress
    December 13, 2009

    My posts are disappearing!
    TEST

  176. #178 Sauceress
    December 13, 2009

    OK…
    Interesting. Whilst wandering aimlessly off on a winding tangent, spiked off by a global warming denialist conspiracy post somewhere in the ether, I came across this post imediately prior to reading PZ’s post.

    http://www.conspiracycafe.net/forum/index.php?/topic/25104-atheist-apocalypse/page__pid__117856__st__0&

    Atheist Apocalypse
    Posted 04 December 2009 – 05:53 AM

    Kicking in the heads of atheists one at a time…

    PZ, I thought the Morris Police Department was going to save you from the wrath of God…

    …feeling bravely masochistic and following the link provided, in amongst the rest (towards the end) of his many, many disturbed incoherent mental masturbations on that page, I found…

    The word TRAGEDY literally means ?GOAT SONG?. tragis oide: ?goat
    song?; perhaps the derivation of the word ?tragedy? (were goats
    awarded as prizes? does this refer to the ritualistic slaughter of
    the sacrificial animal? the scream that the goat makes when slaughtered?)
    also:
    Now what does the WORD ?TRAGEDY? mean…….”GOAT SONG? …….STRANGE?

    and now notice BUSH is reading about a GOAT ****EXACTLY**** as the WTC burns. This is a question of *SECONDS*.
    DOUBLE!

    Which is of no help whatsoeva!

  177. #179 Sauceress
    December 13, 2009

    FFS! Checks blockquote tags in original…they’re fine!

    Grrrr..

  178. #180 John Morales
    December 13, 2009

    Sauceress, it’s the blank line and SB’s excellent system at work. Use a break tag <br> on empty lines to continue the quote span.

  179. #181 Leland
    December 13, 2009

    I made a GOF necktie (for wearing to church and funerals and whatnot):

    http://www.zazzle.com/goats_on_fire_tie-151127639495521358?gl=lelandashtray&rf=238234461969567321

  180. #182 Sauceress
    December 13, 2009

    John Morales
    Noted. Thanks for the heads up. :) My HTML tag skills are rather rusty.

  181. #183 blf
    December 13, 2009

    I recommend stuffing the goat with babies before setting it fire. The trick is to extinguish the flames at just that moment when the meats are lightly cooked, still juicy, and the skin lightly charred, before it begins to burn and leaves a bad charcoal taste. It takes a bit of practice, but once learnt it’s a skill you’ll never forget, and one which comes in very handy at weekend BBQs and festive parties. Rice pilaf and a selection of fresh seasonal vegetables are good side dishes.

  182. #184 Cuttlefish, OM
    December 13, 2009

    I was trying to combine both the goats and the Cummings, but badgersdaughter was faster and better… no, perfect:
    http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2009/12/why_havent_i_seen_this_before.php#comment-2141840

    just in the wrong thread.

  183. #185 'Tis Himself, OM
    December 13, 2009

    I recommend stuffing the goat with babies before setting it fire.

    This only works with slaughtered, gutted goats. The true connoisseur starts with a live goat. Put the goat into a 55 gallon/200 litre drum and fill the drum with 190 proof/95% alcohol Everclear. Toss a lighted match into the drum. When the flames die down remove the goat, skin it and gut it. Then it’s ready for stuffing.

  184. #186 badgersdaughter
    December 13, 2009

    Cuttlefish is a true gentleman. Fortunately the works of ee are open to his craft; that was one of my very least favorite poems by William Carlos Williams.

    Seriously, I once parodied the original poem itself with something approaching, “I peed in your bed, in the sheets you keep for company. Forgive me, I was too comfortable to get up.”

    And “that” in the first stanza and “which” in the second? I suppose I could make up some malarkey about Williams personifying the plums and thus transferring a feeling of guilt to them as well as to his wife, but honestly, even I can’t sustain that level of bullshit. :)

  185. #187 badgersdaughter
    December 13, 2009

    And as for gourmet recipes, there’s the adaptation of the ancient Hungarian wedding feast; take your eviscerated goat, stuff it with a vulture previously marinated in cognac and rosemary (DON’T skip the marinade), stuff that with a buttered baby that you’ve previously stuffed with a well-seasoned squab stuffed with a hardboiled egg in pastry. Ram a stout stake through the goat’s accursed arse and rotisserie the whole thing over an open bonfire, basting frequently with the rendered fat of Christian martyrs.

    Serve with braised Belgian endives and mesclun salad with a bleu cheese dressing, for thirteen.

  186. #188 Vashti
    December 13, 2009

    This light, this flame that devours.
    This br?mos that surrounds me.
    This torment from a single idea.
    This anguish of heaven, goats on fire.

    This lament of blood that adorns
    Capra with no pulse, slippery torch.
    The weight of Gävle Goat strikes me.
    This satyr that lives inside my heart.

    It is love’s garland, a bed of pain,
    where without sleep, I dream of goats on fire
    amid the ruins of my sundered breast.

    And though I seek the summit of prudence
    give me your heart, a spread out valley
    of hemlock and desire for goats on fire

    Esta luz, este fuego que devora.
    Este br?mos que me rodea.
    Este dolor por una sola idea.
    Esta angustia de cielo, cabras en fuego.

    Este llanto de sangre que decora
    Capra sin pulso ya, lúbrica tea.
    Este peso del Gävle Goat que me golpea.
    Este sátiro que por mi pecho mora.

    Son guirnaldas de amor, cama de herido,
    donde sin sueño, sueño cabras en fuego
    entre las ruinas de mi pecho hundido.

    Y aunque busco la cumbre de prudencia
    me da tu corazón valle tendido
    con cicuta y pasión de cabras en fuego

  187. #189 Calton
    December 14, 2009

    You know, y’all are reminding me that I never made the chance to sample the barbequed goat at Doug’s BBQ in Emeryville, California when I lived in the area. Is it too late?

    Wman, where’s a little barbequed goat when you need it?

  188. #190 geekysteven
    December 14, 2009

    This is clearly the work of someone familiar with Brad Neely’s cartoons.

    http://www.creasedcomics.com/video_page.php?id=30

    Joke’s on them though, Neely is an atheist.

  189. #191 Bone Oboe
    December 14, 2009

    Janine, She Wolf etc.
    Thanks, I now dimly recall seeing a “Songs About Fucking” cassette in a friends tape collection, way back. I foresee some Googling, down-loading and head phones time.

    Aquaria @175:
    Ben in Texas hit that one on the noggin up at #118 otherwise I’d have given it a go.
    I was thinking of using “Liar” by Henry Rollins, owing to the easy rhyme with “Fire.”

  190. #192 Doug Little
    December 14, 2009

    e to the i times pi equals -1, therefore god exists!

    Did I do it right?

  191. #193 eddie
    December 14, 2009

    The lie is my expense,
    The scope of my desire,
    The party blessed me with it’s future,
    And I protect it with GOATS ON FIRE.

    Rage Against The Machine -Sleep Now Goats In Teh Fire

    Please, if you are in UKland, help out our campaign to get RATM – Killing In The Name to xmas number 1. See the facebook groups dedicated to this worthy cause which, as a side-effect of breaking syco’s stranglehold on our culture, has so-far raised over £20,000 for the homeless charity Shelter.

  192. #194 pzidead
    December 15, 2009

    skptc.z.rg/gnrl-skptcsm/thsm-s-dd!/

    y’r FNSHD, pz…