Pharyngula

I must be getting old

Because I am weirded out by this new fad of vajazzling, or the gluing of shiny little rhinestones to women’s crotches. I think the problem is that I’m a biologist, so I find skin quite pleasant as it is; this must be something to appeal to geologists, who think it can’t be sexy unless it is mineralized.

Jill mentions that it only seems to be an adornment for women, which does seem a little bit unfair. Or maybe it’s a good thing — I grew up in the 1970s, and really, disco balls have no appeal at all for me.

There. Now your morning is wrecked with a horrifying mental image, too.

Comments

  1. #1 Capital Dan
    February 26, 2010

    I’m pretty sure it’s only fun until someone chips a tooth.

  2. #2 nitramnaed
    February 26, 2010

    Superglueing cheap Chinese rhinestones to your skin? That’s gotta’ hurt!

  3. #3 RijkswaanVijanD
    February 26, 2010

    Usefull Toys in Babeland link.. As it seems they have an apparatus in store that can take of ones socks, I wonder if it also gives footmassages..

  4. #4 Ol'Greg
    February 26, 2010

    That’s just… weird. Pass. Seems like it would catch on underwear and be generally uncomfortable. Then again, I don’t paint my fingernails either.

  5. #5 Thebear
    February 26, 2010

    For once inequality is a good thing – nobody’s giving my balls the disco treatment…

    On a more serious note: The pressures young women face on body issues is really bad. Try as I might I simply cannot convince the GF that shawing off all bodyhair really isn’t mandatory. Unfortunately (Got to admit a hidden agenda here: Hairs are far better than stubble… I guess rihnestones is worse though, so I shan’t complain)

  6. #6 Rev. BigDumbChimp
    February 26, 2010

    I call this the Britney spears effect.

    No matter how stupid you think something is that someone will do to show how vain they are, you don’t have a clue to the level of stupidity that is out there.

  7. #7 tamakazura
    February 26, 2010

    I think you might want to put this one under godlessness too because it’s good proof that there isn’t one…

  8. #8 jac kal
    February 26, 2010

    I imagine this is all the rage with strippers.

  9. #9 Bride of Shrek OM
    February 26, 2010

    Next it’ll be tiny LED lights that you can programme to flash various messages.

    .. and I can’t really see ths catching on with the blokes. I don’t think there’s a glue on the planet that could successfully attach little sequins to that turkey neck kind of skin scrotums are made of.

  10. #10 redmjoel
    February 26, 2010

    Male genital jewelry is usually a bit more extreme.

    Prince Albert, guiche, frenum ladders, etc. I guess it’s more manly that way?

  11. #11 Akira MacKenzie
    February 26, 2010

    I actually don’t think it sounds all that bad, a little adornment in that region could be quite sexy. Putting rhinestones IN the vaginia, on the other hand… Ouch!

    Which brings me to a sexual/linguistic pet peeve of mine: When did the vaginia become an external organ? It’s not as if a woman would admire or fondle a man’s urethra. Shouldn’t this be called “vuljazzling,” or should we just chalk this up to America’s anatomical illiteracy?

  12. #12 tiger-salad
    February 26, 2010

    A horrifying mental image with a theme song no less!

    I do not get the appeal of doing such a thing, and I hope I never do.

  13. #13 Thebear
    February 26, 2010

    @ tamakazura:

    I dunno. The OT variant seems to be pretty keen on stoning afterall… Perhaps all the killing is just one big misunderstanding.

  14. #14 PZ Myers
    February 26, 2010

    turkey neck kind of skin scrotums are made of

    That’s just room for expansion. You know that other weird fad of huge puffy lips filled with collagen injections? Wait until the hugely inflated scrota fad sweeps the world.

    Sorry. More horrifying mental images.

  15. #15 Maslab
    February 26, 2010

    Jebus, and I used to think that old tattoos were bad, but this is the icing on the cake.

  16. #16 Janine, Mistress Of Foul Mouth Abuse, OM
    February 26, 2010

    Behold the VajazzlerBedazzler!

    Doing my part to up the horrifying factor!

  17. #17 Sven DiMilo
    February 26, 2010

    I think the problem is that I’m a biologist, so I find skin quite pleasant as it is

    I’ll go further: as a mammalian biologist, I find skin especially pleasant when it has hair growing out of it.

    Wait until the hugely inflated scrota fad sweeps the world.

    you made me do this: http://www.pbase.com/scottnelson/image/53692434

  18. #18 aratina cage of the OM
    February 26, 2010

    She could have used the Mini-Dazzler to set the jewels for less. Also, Rachel Maddow uncovered something just as bizarre and posted it on twitter:

    Oooh! Bejeweled teabags! http://is.gd/7XGrw

  19. #19 Louis
    February 26, 2010

    WHAT. THE. FUCK.

    Are you kidding me? Hard, sharp, rough stones on someone’s Lady Garden? Condom tearing is the least of my worries. If one comes off and goes into the lady’s hoohoo that ain’t going to be comfortable for anyone. Good gravy, imagine getting one caught between the Herman Gelmet and the Pullover. Deary deary me, that would chafe worse than volcanic sand…..erm allegedly.

    And decorating one’s clockweights in a similar manner is hardly going to be pleasant for the lady or gentleman you are inserting your one eyed champion into, for all the above reasons.

    It won’t be long before little crystalline LED merkins are set up so one participant can text the other when cumulonimbus or horatio are ongoing. It’s all going to hell in a handbasket, I tells you.

    Louis

    P.S. I am willing to explain the terminology used in this post with diagrams and appropriate video, but only for a sizeable fee.

  20. #20 Louis
    February 26, 2010

    Also, google images, that was teh funneh.

    Louis

  21. #21 Louis
    February 26, 2010

    Bride #9,

    It seems sick minds think alike!

    Louis

  22. #22 lenoxuss
    February 26, 2010

    #6 BigDumbChimp: “No matter how stupid you think something is that someone will do to show how vain they are, you don’t have a clue to the level of stupidity that is out there.”

    You know, this is an aspect of our language I’ve never really understood. Isn’t the decoration of one’s body really a statement that the body is “inadequate”, and therefore the opposite of vanity? Not that I mean to criticize that post at all.

  23. #23 and7barton
    February 26, 2010

    Sand under the old tin hat is nasty. Especially builder’s sand on the wooden floor of a shed in Dagenham in 1970. (I’d imagine)

  24. #24 Thebear
    February 26, 2010
  25. #25 F
    February 26, 2010

    Dunno, I don’t go much for any sort of body adornment. I guess I’m just uptight, or something.

  26. #26 PZ Myers
    February 26, 2010

    Sven @#17: Just think how much more attractive that would look if it were covered with cheap shiny gemstones! That would get that miserable look off the guy’s face, I’m sure.

  27. #27 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    February 26, 2010

    Just what is it with the recent (past 5 years or so) obsession with public discussions of fashions in genitalia, particularly women’s? It’s everywhere – on the tubes, on the cover of magazines, always with the cutesy neologisms like “vajayjay.” Ugh.

    I cannot believe how much sturm und drang goes on about the proper amount of upkeep for your bidness. Women have always been targeted by obsessive fashion “musts,” and now it’s not just clothes anymore, but everything underneath. Is your bush under control? Is your (insert cutesy name for vulva) properly, prettily presented? It’s spilled over to men, too, with almost as much attention now being devoted to whether one is properly “manscaped” (another extremely stupid and annoying term). You know it’s bad when straight men’s magazines start fussing over stuff that used to be limited to the narcissistic subculture of young gay men.

    As a commenter on the original thread PZ linked to said, it’s bad enough that the complete or near-complete removal of pubic hair is now considered almost obligatory (really, when did pubic hair become “dirty” and “gross”?), but now we have to bedazzle our crotches?

    Sorry to sound so grumpy. . .I’m not a prude as most of you well know, but I find this all irritating and unseemly.

  28. #28 Matt Penfold
    February 26, 2010

    You know, this is an aspect of our language I’ve never really understood. Isn’t the decoration of one’s body really a statement that the body is “inadequate”, and therefore the opposite of vanity? Not that I mean to criticize that post at all.

    I think the vanity would come in thinking that 1) there was an inadequacy in the first place and 2) thinking it mattered enough to be worth doing something about it.

  29. #29 Matt Penfold
    February 26, 2010

    you made me do this: http://www.pbase.com/scottnelson/image/53692434

    And I thought having a varicocele was bad!

  30. #30 Romeo Vitelli
    February 26, 2010

    “I think the problem is that I’m a biologist, so I find skin quite pleasant as it is;”

    Says the man who shared his nipple on Facebook.

  31. #31 Treppenwitz
    February 26, 2010

    Vajazzling is the anal bleaching of this decade.

  32. #32 lordshipmayhem
    February 26, 2010

    As a naturist, I prefer natural. Trimmed is OK. Shaved clear is fine, too. Dyed so the carpet matches the drapes, well, if you must.

    Rhinestones in the Down There Area? Ah, no. No thankyouverymuch.

    Off topic: I saw that AIG lost $9 billion last quarter, and was hoping that was the last we’d hear from Answers in Genesis. Unfortunately, when I read the story, it turned out to be American Insurance Group that CNN was referring to. I was deeply disappointed. I’m also still going through RichardDawson.net forum withdrawal.

  33. #33 Lynna, OM
    February 26, 2010

    Jeezus christ, Janine, you ought to be sued for linking to the “Bedazzler” commercial. That was truly horrifying. I wanted more, though (addiction to disaster porn, I think). The demo lady should have bedazzled those humongous shoulder pads. If you’ve got ‘em, flaunt ‘em. [okay, now I'm going to have to go wash out my mind.]

    I agree with our Official SpokesGay, that this glue-jewels-to-genitals fad is unseemly — a fashion faux pas.

    I prefer to leave everything as is. Pretty fascinating as is, no enhancement required.

    Appreciated the dig at geologists, PZ. Well done. But really, wouldn’t gold dust be better?

    Sven, thanks for being worse than Janine.

  34. #34 ButchKitties
    February 26, 2010

    I think I might try this. Only I’m doing to use googly eyes instead of rhinestones.

  35. #35 DagoRed
    February 26, 2010

    #22 You know, this is an aspect of our language I’ve never really understood. Isn’t the decoration of one’s body really a statement that the body is “inadequate”, and therefore the opposite of vanity? Not that I mean to criticize that post at all.

    I think that is a complex point. We hide much of our bodies behind clothes, at least in part, to hide them from one another…hence, there is clearly a sense of inadequacy associated with the human body on some level in most everyone (thanks again, Mr. Christianity, for fucking up the human race) but, then, some adorn those part most taboo, presumably, to improve their “presence” when exposed and to encourage attention to them when they are exposed….is it an act of vanity, a sign of shame and/or inadequacy, or both?

  36. #36 Sisyphus
    February 26, 2010

    You’re not getting old PZ. This is just weird.

    I can’t understand why women (and men) just can’t accept their bodies as is.

    Brazilian waxes have always freaked me out. I figure any man who’s turned on by a hairless vagina is a pedophile in waiting. As for men with no pubic hair – that’s just gross and creepy (from a woman’s POV)

    Also, I’m 100% in agreement with various above posters regarding obnoxious terms for genitals. Va-Jay-Jay makes me want to puke.

    And btw ladies, it’s not vajazzling if the stones aren’t inserted inside your vagina. It’s vulvazzling or monpubiszzling.

  37. #37 Pierce R. Butler
    February 26, 2010

    Clearly this is exactly what the expression about gilding the lily means.

    Though the rhinestone version does give new significance to the ubiquitous desire to get one’s rocks off…

  38. #38 Treppenwitz
    February 26, 2010

    I figure any man who’s turned on by a hairless vagina is a pedophile in waiting.

    Funny, I consider people who overreact to the trivial preferences of others childish.

  39. #39 Brownian, OM
    February 26, 2010

    Next it’ll be tiny LED lights that you can programme to flash various messages.

    That seems…useful.

    “HARDER…SOFTER…LOWER…USE MORE TONGUE…USE LESS TONGUE!…EASY ON THE BUTTON; YOU’RE NOT PLAYING MINESWEEPER ON A LAPTOP HERE…OH FFS, JUST LET ME DO IT”

    Very useful.

    “THAT’S IT…DOING GREAT…WONDERFUL…HONEY, YOU’RE THE BEST!…BTW, I NEED YOU TO PICK ROBBIE UP FROM SOCCER PRACTICE ON TUESDAY”

    Wait until the hugely inflated scrota fad sweeps the world.

    I see Xtreme versions of whitewater rafting sweeping the adrenaline-junkie community.

  40. #40 cicely
    February 26, 2010

    So, if one…embellishment…is good for about 5 days, how does one deal with the stubble? I can’t imagine that shaving around the, ah, speed bumps, would be a possibility, waxing also seems non-sensible, and chemical depilatories wouldn’t do the adhesive any good (and might well take the shine off the little rhinestones, too); but leaving the stubble standin’ proud wouldn’t be very attractive, even if bejazzled.

  41. #41 mechanoid
    February 26, 2010

    Damn. This is awesome.

    Now my plan to hang a lavalier mic down the back of my butt crack to record… well… the sounds of love can be combined with the blingtastic vajazzle craze!

    Aural and visual stimulation!

    Resampled into some booty techno… the possibilities of vajazzled disco balls… well it makes this old party boy tingle inside!

  42. #42 Tom S. Fox
    February 26, 2010

    You misspelled ?sniny.?

  43. #43 ButchKitties
    February 26, 2010

    @36,

    I think the assumption that Brazilian wax = pedophilia is silly. Armpit hair is pubic hair, too. Does liking shaved pits also make one a pedophile in waiting?

    Hairy genitalia just ain’t my thing. If you like a down below afro, many happy returns to ya. Personally, I don’t much care for getting hair in my mouth.

  44. #44 Glen Davidson
    February 26, 2010

    Don’t go for designer bags, PZ?

    I don’t think I was ever young enough for all that nonsense.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p

  45. #45 marcus
    February 26, 2010

    Butchkitties @35 LOL Yeah,googly eyes is definitely the way to go. I say look that vagina right in the eye and get busy. No slacking, I got my eye(s) on you!

  46. #46 Lynna, OM
    February 26, 2010

    lordshipmayhem @32

    I’m also still going through RichardDawson.net forum withdrawal.

    My sympathies. I recommend the endless thread. (Quick link can always be found in the left column).

    BTW, I noted that AIG was spinning the news of the $9 billion loss like a top. They explained that it was good news because they’d lost so much less than the year before ($60 million).

  47. #47 cicely
    February 26, 2010

    Sisyphus @ 36:

    And btw ladies, it’s not vajazzling if the stones aren’t inserted inside your vagina. It’s vulvazzling or monpubiszzling.

    Publisizzling!

    Brownian @ 39, ROFLMAO!!!

  48. #48 coughlanbrianm
    February 26, 2010

    I’m pretty certain this is mentioned in the book of Revelations as a sign of the end times, just after the bit about the Twin Towers and the I-95. Bet you atheists don’t feel so smart now, huh?

  49. #49 ckitching
    February 26, 2010

    You know it’s bad when straight men’s magazines start fussing over stuff that used to be limited to the narcissistic subculture of young gay men.

    I think I blame the cosmetics industry. They’ve had their hooks buried deep into women for ages now, selling them largely unnecessary cosmetic products. They would like nothing more than to get men hooked on the same kind of unnecessary behaviour. Witness the rise of brands like Axe and even many traditionally female brands advertising towards men. “Macho” culture doesn’t lend itself well to selling these kinds of products.

    Men’s magazines are often largely supported by companies that are either subsidiaries of cosmetics companies, or the companies themselves, so it’s probably inevitable that more and more of the stories are going to be planted by advertising firms. I freely admit that this should seem like paranoid ranting, but there’s plenty of evidence that it happens in other industries. Take the gaming industry that finds game review magazines unwilling to publish critical reviews of games from major publishers out of fear of losing advertising dollars and early access to the very things they review, for instance. Then there are the well publicized biases in automobile review magazines (in former years, domestic could do no wrong, and import could do no right, and today they are almost exactly reversed).

  50. #50 Bride of Shrek OM
    February 26, 2010

    For some reason, I don’t know why, I blame Paris Hilion for this.

  51. #51 a_ray_in_dilbert_space
    February 26, 2010

    Andrei Codrescu has speculated that once tats and vajazzling become pedestrian, that kids will start having their genetics altered so they grow tails, get purple skin,… That’s all fine. Just as long as they don’t become Republicans.

  52. #52 cicely
    February 26, 2010

    AKK! That shoulda been “pubisizzling”.

    Though I guess “publisizzling” works, if the space is being used for ad copy.

    ….”FOR A GOOD TIME CALL 555-6789…GET YOUR BRAZILIAN AT JANE’S HOUSE OF WAX…EAT AT JOE’S…”

  53. #53 Blondin
    February 26, 2010

    Shades of Buster Gonad!

    Things were different when I was a kid (hairier mostly).

  54. #54 DagoRed
    February 26, 2010

    Reminds me a bit of the seed media group logo at the bottom of Pharyngula’s page.

  55. #55 Rachel Bronwyn
    February 26, 2010

    Dudes preferring hairless cooters is just a learnt preference. If they’d grown up in an era where hair in porn was normal, they’d not be offended by it. They’ve been taught normal = hairless though.

    Also, pubic hair does not equate to hair in the mouth during oral sex. Honestly, what the hell part of the vulva are people who complain about this licking?

    I won’t waste my time on guys who are offended by the natural female form. Upholding anyone to an unnatural standard of beauty is disgusting. Hairlessness is unnatural. Women shouldn’t feel they have to inconvenience themselves unless it makes them feel good. None of my girlfriends remove body hair for themselves. They do it for boyfriends and so they can get laid. It’s awful.

    I won’t remove my body hair because I have better things to spend my time on and I like myself the way I am. I do maintenance. Occasionally I’ll shave my armpits. In the summer I shave my legs. I HATE the prepubescent look/sensation though and will not uphold myself to that unnatural standard of beauty just because the media tells me I should. I’d never dream of expecting a partner to get his ass and balls waxed. Frankly, the look creeps me out.

    Something particularly stupid about this artical: it has nothing to do with the vagina. It doesn’t even pertain to the outer labia. It appears the mons is the only body part getting any attention.

    And why the fuck do people speak as though the vagina is the whole package? The vagina is the hole/tube. The rest is the vulva. Learn the accuate names of body parts, people, and stop referring to them by euphemisms.

  56. #56 Mike Crichton
    February 26, 2010

    PZ: Wait until the hugely inflated scrota fad sweeps the world.

    It already has. Google “Testicular Saline Injection”. Have brain bleach handy.

    cicely: So, if one…embellishment…is good for about 5 days, how does one deal with the stubble?

    That’s why they do the waxing first. Takes longer for stubble to start growing than if they’d shaved.

  57. #57 Gyeong Hwa Pak, Pikachu para lang sa iyo.
    February 26, 2010

    It’s spilled over to men, too, with almost as much attention now being devoted to whether one is properly “manscaped” (another extremely stupid and annoying term). You know it’s bad when straight men’s magazines start fussing over stuff that used to be limited to the narcissistic subculture of young gay men.

    Bashing young gay men again are we, Josh? (Joking of course. I’m well aware of the whole fashion scene of gay young men. I’m not into that scene though.)

    On the subject of oddities down under, I told that there were piercings one can get for the vagina to accentuate orgasm. Word of mouth of course. I know that so men get their penis pierced, I always wonder what kind of complications that would cause.

  58. #58 Everyday Atheist
    February 26, 2010

    There once was a gal vajazzled,
    The sexy young things she bedazzled,
    Until one went down,
    And broke his new crown,
    And fled from the room quite frazzled.

  59. #59 Sili
    February 26, 2010

    Wait until the hugely inflated scrota fad sweeps the world.

    If the videographic imagery is to be believed the subculture already exists. Some men do seem to enjoys sticking needles in their scrota and inflating them with saline.

    To each their own.

  60. #60 BrianX
    February 26, 2010

    I guess I find this weird but not especially objectionable, provided it doesn’t get in the way of other activity (certainly losing one of those… baubles… in a sensitive area would screw up the effect). But then I’ve also long since come to the conclusion that tattoos and breast implants are basically the same thing too.

  61. #61 Everyday Atheist
    February 26, 2010

    Some men do seem to enjoys sticking needles in their scrota and inflating them with saline.

    Anyone other than me suppressing an AC/DC reference?

  62. #62 randallstevens
    February 26, 2010

    If you don’t know the UK show The Mighty Boosh, check this out this guys “mirror balls”… the link is within 5 seconds of the ‘reveal’.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yPNgQt0Lkl8#t=0m55s

  63. #63 Rev. BigDumbChimp
    February 26, 2010

    Anyone other than me suppressing an AC/DC reference?

    After Sven’s link, yes me.

  64. #64 damien.laliberte
    February 26, 2010

    Is it wrong that I picture a man also being bedazzled, and the tender act of coitus sounding like a plastic zipper being done and undone at great speed?

  65. #65 Anodyne
    February 26, 2010

    Since this has become somewhat of a she-junk centered conversation (really, we need a word that is all-encompassing for our lady bits other than “genitals”. blech), I figured I’d throw in my two cents. Or three. Or…something.

    On the subject of shaving being nothing but “vanity”: I don’t know that men would necessarily be aware of this, but women–jeez. Perhaps you have noticed that you pee. And sweat. And gawd-knows what else down there. Having vulval pubes is just an excuse to absorb all the grossness. So please, before you go being holier-than-thou about others who shave… Look at it rationally. It has nothing to do with the oppression of women, or whatever other stupid reasons I’ve heard. It just makes sense. I started doing it before I was even aware of a societal push for hair removal, and waaaay before any sort of sexual activity. (As to the shaving of the pubis…that’s another story. File that under personal preference.)

    And to the person who just assumed all men that like women to be shaved are basically pedophiles..that makes about as much sense as saying people who shave their heads just wish they were undergoing chemo. Completely flawed reasoning.
    If you are young, I can somewhat understand how it may seem bizarre and perverse, as it wasn’t all that long ago that you were naturally bare. But even to connect that with charges of pedophilia is at best a stretch and reflects poorly upon you.

    As to the original subject–yee gad! *shudders*
    The USA in particular is so completely nuts when it comes to issues of external female genitalia. (this is a whooooole other subject that I could go on and on about, but I’ll spare you.) Women don’t even know more than the basics of what their anatomy is supposed to look like, and are in turn so completely obsessed with “do I look right down there?? That looks gross! It’s not even! They stick out! etc etc.” Maybe it’s an attempt to distract others with shiny objects so they won’t look at your “freakish” frillies and such. I really can’t wrap my head around why anyone would do that to their crotch though. Oddly enough, genital piercing I can vaguely understand, but this?? Beats me.

    And the simple explanation for why “manscaping” is coming into vogue is because men like having their wangs fondled by just about anything that can fondle them. And instead of the fondler getting the fondlee’s hairs up their nose and in their mouth and throat, shaving seems to be a much better option. I mean seriously, if you have prospects of mouth lovin’, and the only thing between it and you is a poof of hair, is there really any question what’s going to happen to the hair? (It also doesn’t hurt that the smaller the bush, the larger the unit appears to be. Not that men would be concerned about that or anything…coughcough)

    Ultimately though, what does it really matter what one person decides to do to their body? In the end, it’s just decoration. We’ve enjoyed adorning ourselves with sparkly and shimmery shit ever since we figured out how to make it wearable. I really don’t see this changing any time soon.

    Sorry if this is hard to read. I’ve been working and then coming back to this, so the lines of thought were disrupted.

  66. #66 DesertHedgehog
    February 26, 2010

    Right now….yes. The LED message thing would be majorly cool. Brilliant image! Unless…well…unless that’s how she sent the message dumping you…

  67. #67 alysonmiers
    February 26, 2010

    I get that this could be popular with strippers, but for women who don’t get nekkid for a living, this makes us less fuckable, not more. Let’s face it: if sex is any good, you will look ridiculous, and not the least bit refined. This “vajazzling” business is not helpful for shagging. If you’re worried about dislodging your vajazzles, you’re not going to get the most out of sex. If you need to go to a spa and get a professional wax job AND have the vajazzles affixed, and it only lasts 5 days? Then you probably will be preoccupied with keeping them in place, in which case sex is going to be a chore.

    Also: the craze for trimmed/shaved crotches has gone too far. There’s no reason why anyone should think they HAVE to trim the bush as a prerequisite for partnered sex. That shit itches. The “cactus between the legs” feeling doesn’t make me feel sexy.

  68. #68 Anodyne
    February 26, 2010

    Oh, and to whoever said they wanted to use googly eyes instead of rhinestones–hilarious! I second the motion.

  69. #69 VoiceoftheGods
    February 26, 2010

    “Though I guess “publisizzling” works, if the space is being used for ad copy.

    ….”FOR A GOOD TIME CALL 555-6789…GET YOUR BRAZILIAN AT JANE’S HOUSE OF WAX…EAT AT JOE’S…”"

    Finally advertising that most men wouldn’t just change the channel and avoid. Quick call the Mad Men.

  70. #70 Asclepias
    February 26, 2010

    Josh @ #26–I was completely unaware that landscaping (manscaping, womanscaping, whatever) was such a big deal. I figure it takes up an inordinate amount of time that I prefer to spend doing other, more useful stuff, AND it itches while growing back in. Besides, there’s nobody in my life who I want to show that sort of thing off to, so why bother? OTOH, this may just show off my ignorance of sexual trends.(?)

  71. #71 threedingers
    February 26, 2010

    There’s a “disco sucks” joke in here somewhere, but I’m too lazy to come up with it myself.

  72. #72 David Marjanovi?
    February 26, 2010

    YOU’RE NOT PLAYING MINESWEEPER ON A LAPTOP HERE

    :-D

  73. #73 Everyday Atheist
    February 26, 2010

    Let’s not forget the possibility for distraction at inopportune moments here.

    “Baby, I’m gonna… OOOOH, SOMETHING SHINY!”

  74. #74 luvrte66
    February 26, 2010

    It’s the Beavdazzler! Did anyone make that joke already?

  75. #75 KillJoy
    February 26, 2010

    I personally enjoy all kinds of body modifications. Piercings are awesome, tats are sexy, and branding is hot (pun intended). But gluing rhinestones to yer hoohoo just seems a little bit much to me.

    While female bits are not exactly my thing, I can tell you that if a guy was gluing stuff to his junk and I happened across it I would laugh my butt off.

    This coming from a guy with metal in his bits.

    KJ

  76. #76 Janine, Mistress Of Foul Mouth Abuse, OM
    February 26, 2010

    I have a very stupid question. Do I need to shave my pubic area if I want to put something sniny there?

  77. #77 Kome
    February 26, 2010

    Ladies, trust me: The only thing you need to add to your vaginal area to make me like it even more than I already do is my penis.

  78. #78 https://me.yahoo.com/a/DhjBEuJ8pt63x6eBKuPx0Jv9_QE-#7c327
    February 26, 2010

    Beavis and Butt-head here.
    You said “disco balls.” Heh heh heh heh heh heh.

  79. #79 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    February 26, 2010

    And the simple explanation for why “manscaping” is coming into vogue is because men like having their wangs fondled by just about anything that can fondle them. And instead of the fondler getting the fondlee’s hairs up their nose and in their mouth and throat, shaving seems to be a much better option. I mean seriously, if you have prospects of mouth lovin’, and the only thing between it and you is a poof of hair, is there really any question what’s going to happen to the hair?

    No, the reason it’s coming into vogue is the same reason that all other such behaviors do – arbitrary fashion. If your explanation were correct, you’d have to account for why it is that men have had no trouble getting their penises fondled for thousands of years before the very recent trend to shave/trim.

    (It also doesn’t hurt that the smaller the bush, the larger the unit appears to be. Not that men would be concerned about that or anything…coughcough)

    Again, no. It merely makes it look pre-pubescent.

  80. #80 https://me.yahoo.com/a/yJNTxfs5j.KZJAp9er13NOGPJqo-#d62e3
    February 26, 2010

    Just what is it with the recent (past 5 years or so) obsession with public discussions of fashions in genitalia, particularly women’s? It’s everywhere

    I was mildly shocked when I heard Janet Jackson tell that she has Mickey and Minnie Mouse tattoeed above her ‘cootchie’. This was in an interview with Jonathan Ross (BBC television), after he’d kept egging her on about her tattoos. Not shocked that she has the tattoo (although I suspect Mickey & Minnie won’t make her feel cute when she’s sixty), but that she’d say that on TV. I’m all for people giving up unhelpful inhibitions and having a natural relationship with their bodies, but I’m not quite convinced that that’s what’s going on here.

  81. #81 Noadi
    February 26, 2010

    As someone who spends far too much time on sites like ModBlog http://news.bmezine.com/category/modblog/ this just gets a yawn from me. Sort of reminds me of temporary tattoos or henna, don’t have the guts to go all the way. (Not that I have any genital piercings, piercing isn’t my thing, I prefer tattoos and someday scarification for my body mods).

  82. #82 KillJoy
    February 26, 2010

    Also, I’m with the Official SpokesGay on this one.
    You know what makes a penis look bigger? Being bigger. Trimming, I am down with, but I want my wang to look like it belongs on a man, not on a choirboy. Same with what I get on other dudes. A little hair is really sexy. Mind you I don’t want to need a pith helmet and machete to get to the fun bits, so keep that shit trimmed. But don’t shave boys. Please? You’re pretty with the fuzz.

    KJ

  83. #83 Blondin
    February 26, 2010

    (It also doesn’t hurt that the smaller the bush, the larger the unit appears to be. Not that men would be concerned about that or anything…coughcough)

    So yer sayin’ that clearin’ the underbrush makes the timber look taller?

    I’ll just take yer word on that.

  84. #84 reera-the-red
    February 26, 2010

    Janine @ #76: If you didn’t, I suspect application of the jewels would be considerably more laborious. However, you’d have the advantage of being able to hold your very own Easter-egg hunt.

  85. #85 Sili
    February 26, 2010

    Shaving is indeed far too much work most of the time, so I’ve gone back to having a bushy sack. Doesn’t really matter when noöne’s looking, I s’pose.

    I still do crack, pits and aureoles, though.

  86. #86 Thebear
    February 26, 2010

    @ Janine:

    You could allways dangle something…

    (can’t see how it would be comfortable though, but I guess if you’re gluing stones to your body comfort isn’t very high on the list of priorities)

  87. #87 Epikt
    February 26, 2010

    Sven DiMilo:

    you made me do this: http://www.pbase.com/scottnelson/image/5369243

    I desperately need to believe that was Photoshopped.

  88. #88 Anodyne
    February 26, 2010

    No, the reason it’s coming into vogue is the same reason that all other such behaviors do – arbitrary fashion. If your explanation were correct, you’d have to account for why it is that men have had no trouble getting their penises fondled for thousands of years before the very recent trend to shave/trim.

    (It also doesn’t hurt that the smaller the bush, the larger the unit appears to be. Not that men would be concerned about that or anything…coughcough)

    Again, no. It merely makes it look pre-pubescent.

    I agree with your explanation in part, but I think we’re both guilty of oversimplification.
    If you asked a man in the 50s to do it, I can only imagine what kind of puzzled and/or angered look you’d receive. Now that it is socially acceptable, people are comfortable asking others to do it, and in turn, to do it doesn’t seem as weird. So yes, it does have to do with arbitrary trends, but it also has to do with convenience and simple personal preferences. Personally, I’m not very fond of being tickled in numerous places by a giant bush of hair. I seem to be far more ticklish than the general population though. :(

    I should also clarify: For men, I meant trimming, not shaving. I wouldn’t require anyone I know to give themselves razor burn. Ack. In this case, it does not look pre-pubescent. I’m a little creeped out by the bare look, though that wouldn’t stop me if my boyfriend chose to go with it.

  89. #89 marcus
    February 26, 2010

    As to whether or not a vulva/vagina should be hairy or not, Brazilian waxed with just the labia showing, or completely bald in all of its pinkish/brownish glory, pierced, pomaded, powdered, tattooed I can only say yes. Definitely yes! As long as they loved and affectionately revered by all who pass their way.

  90. #90 sasqwatch
    February 26, 2010

    So PZ, not liking disco balls must mean you prefer purity balls. I never figured y’was such a fuddy-duddy.

  91. #91 Ol'Greg
    February 26, 2010

    @#62 LOL!

    I love that show.

    As for the shave or no shave question I’ve always removed most of my body hair that is darker than my skin (exception for the top of my head and eyebrows). It really wasn’t about sex. I just don’t like hair very much. I’m pretty out of it on most of the “beauty concerns” and I’ve never really asked a partner to conform. Having seen things hairy and non hairy in others I’m really certain that the preference in my case only really applies to me. Yes I agree if a woman is being coerced into shaving by a society that views her as dirty if she does not conform then there is a problem. But if it’s just a personal preference in terms of how one likes to go about grooming then it isn’t something to get upset about.

    I guess ultimately the important thing is women having the power and authority over their own bodies to decide what is appropriate in terms of grooming/decoration.

  92. #92 Multicellular
    February 26, 2010

    “Next it’ll be tiny LED lights that you can programme to flash various messages”

    All you really need is runway approach lights.

    “Wait until the hugely inflated scrota fad sweeps the world.”

    Too late, remember the codpiece?

  93. #93 Epikt
    February 26, 2010

    Shaved is ok. Hairy, within reason, is better IMO. Partially shaved–hair patch shaved like a heart or something–is a bit silly. But a patch that spells out the Schrodinger equation is beyond awesome.

  94. #94 Butch Pansy
    February 26, 2010

    Diamonds in the muff?

  95. #95 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    February 26, 2010

    Diamonds in the muff?

    .

    WIN! Ask Sven de Milo to give you the Internet – I awarded him the whole thing a few threads back, but it’s now rightfully yours.

  96. #96 Janine, Mistress Of Foul Mouth Abuse, OM
    February 26, 2010

    Butch Pansy, take a bow. You deserve it.

  97. #97 Gyeong Hwa Pak, Pikachu para lang sa iyo.
    February 26, 2010

    You know that’s the first time I’ve encountered the word “muff.”

  98. #98 cicely
    February 26, 2010

    Janine, Mistress Of Foul Mouth Abuse, OM:

    I have a very stupid question. Do I need to shave my pubic area if I want to put something sniny there?

    I dunno; maybe braiding with Delica beads? It’d be very time-consuming. Or hit the area lightly with a spray adhesive, then dust it with glitter. Messy, and inconvenient, when the time comes for action.

  99. #99 Nineveh
    February 26, 2010

    Well if we’re gonna bedazzle our stuff, the least men can do is hang tassels from their sac. Preferably with bells.

  100. #100 dNorrisM
    February 26, 2010

    I’m reminded of Titanides (From John Varley mythology) who typically wear about a kilo of bangles, etc. attached to their labia, nipples, scrotum, etc. But for Carnival they throw caution aside and get really decked out.

  101. #101 dNorrisM
    February 26, 2010

    Nineveh: My neighbor attaches barbels. Seriously! Five pounds!

  102. #102 SteveM
    February 26, 2010

    re 55:

    Also, pubic hair does not equate to hair in the mouth during oral sex. Honestly, what the hell part of the vulva are people who complain about this licking?

    If so, then why do so many women object to kissing men with beards? Why then can’t men complain about “kissing” a “bearded” woman?

  103. #103 Alexander the Good Enough
    February 26, 2010

    Googly eyes? Someone say they were into googly eyes? Try Key West at Mardi Gras (NSFW!!!):
    http://gallery.flashgang.com/009/005.jpg
    Folks, you ain’t seen nothin!

  104. #104 Sven DiMilo
    February 26, 2010

    I desperately need to believe that was Photoshopped.

    oh…no. I’m really sorry. Wuchereria nematodes and their, um, symptoms are only too real.
    However, Filariasis and elephantiasis are two words not to google-image if you are as desperate as you claim.

  105. #105 Janine, Mistress Of Foul Mouth Abuse, OM
    February 26, 2010

    Gyeong Hwa Pak, you never heard of muffs? You are about to become a lucky guy.
    Funny, I brought up The Muffs yesterday in the undead thread when I was talking about Cynthia PlasterCaster.

  106. #106 JeffreyD
    February 26, 2010

    Oh empty heavens, why not just spray glitter all over yourself? Hmmm, Jadehawk – there is your answer, glitter will spruce up that bush with nary a razor in sight. Try some of the white artificial snow flocking for a festive xmas look.

    I have always thought a vulva lightly covered with pubic hair to be delightful. Gently teasing the hair away is like a treasure hunt. I have experienced the full vulval range from 70′s movie afro through soft nest through Brazilian runway to egg smooth. Prefer the hairier end. One, it cushions the face and chin; two, one can munch and floss all at once. I hate sliding across razor stubble – mood breaker. I have a beard, by the way.

    Personal taste is just that, I know mine. Interesting that two of the shaved women I have been with long term were glad to quit once they understood I really did mean I liked hair.

    Hmmm, wonder what the spousal unit is up to right now….? Later folks.

    Totum dependeat.

  107. #107 cicely
    February 26, 2010

    Nineveh:

    Well if we’re gonna bedazzle our stuff, the least men can do is hang tassels from their sac. Preferably with bells.

    Hence the saying, “I’ll be there with bells on!”

  108. #108 Alexander the Good Enough
    February 26, 2010

    I’m also surprised that this fine and related product has yet to be mentioned (also NSFW!!!):
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VR4O68kUj5c
    What every girl needs (NOT!)

  109. #109 formosus
    February 26, 2010

    @Sisyphus #36

    Monpubiszzling has become my new favorite word. I have no idea when I’ll be able to use it in a sentence, but when the day comes, it will be epic.

  110. #110 MadScientist
    February 26, 2010

    @Brownian #39: You mean like inflatable scrota? “Have you got a needle, I need to pump up my balls.”

  111. #111 simonator
    February 26, 2010

    I guess I’m the only one with this http://www.welsh-nutter.co.uk/songs/dickie.html tune running through my head.

  112. #112 Peter G.
    February 26, 2010

    I can’t speak for geologists (I suppose I could ask my brother) but as someone who has spent a significant amount of time studying crystallography I think I would find the mounting medium somewhat distracting not to mention difficult to get into an x-ray diffraction scanner.

  113. #113 Qwerty
    February 26, 2010

    Ditto on the kudos to Butch Pansy.

  114. #114 bPer
    February 26, 2010

    Sven DiMilo @#17

    you made me do this: http://www.pbase.com/scottnelson/image/53692434

    Ouch! No wonder that guy is frowning!

    Then I saw what was under the image:

    other sizes: small medium large original

    We all know what those links usually mean, but I wondered … :)

    βPer

  115. #115 ~Pharyngulette~
    February 26, 2010

    Oh, pur-lease. Why are we so collectively embarrassed about a little fur? We are mammals, aren’t we? We have to shape it, shave it off, then cover up the area with rhinestone and pretend it was never there? No, I’m with you PeeZed. Seems like young (…er than me) women are positively ashamed of their pubises. (And you kids? Off my lawn!) Yeah, I’m an old chook and I trim every few weeks, just to keep things tidy, but that’s it.

    A few months back, Hubby found a DVD online that’s nothing but the previews and trailers of old exploitation movies of the 60s and 70s – it’s hilarious, particularly the soft porn, where every actor is hairy, in all the usual places. Mustaches on the men, maps of Tasmania on the women, even armpit hair — whee! Hairy arses, hairy chests. Why, good gracious, they all look like normal people, rather than store mannequins!

    Oh, and young folk? No one ever died back in those dark days from getting a few hairs in the mouth. No, honest. It was all just part of the whacky 70s oral sex experience and even takes me back to the oldest sexy joke I ever learnt:

    Q: How do you get rid of unwanted pubic hair?
    A: phbphbptttphtt (spitting sound)

    Ahem. Have I overshared yet?

  116. #116 Blondin
    February 26, 2010

    Well if we’re gonna bedazzle our stuff, the least men can do is hang tassels from their sac. Preferably with bells.

    Or maybe one of those little scented pine tree thingies.

  117. #117 Kome
    February 26, 2010

    @~Pharyungulette~
    “(And you kids? Off my lawn!)”

    Pretty sure the trend is that if you have a lawn, the kids don’t want to be on it in the first place.

  118. #118 alysonmiers
    February 26, 2010

    If so, then why do so many women object to kissing men with beards? Why then can’t men complain about “kissing” a “bearded” woman?

    I really don’t know why women object to kissing men with beards. I certainly don’t mind making out with a bearded guy, and nobody, male or female, gets to tell me to turn my snatch into a Permanent Itch Zone because s/he prefers the way it looks/smells/whatever. I have to carry this around with me 24/7, not just when I’m getting my freak on, and if it feels miserable when I’m not getting my freak on, it probably won’t make me any sexier. Letting the hair grow naturally is just more comfortable for some of us.

  119. #119 ~Pharyngulette~
    February 26, 2010

    Pretty sure the trend is that if you have a lawn, the kids don’t want to be on it in the first place.

    I have been zinged and I love it!

    /Apu voice

  120. #120 Anodyne
    February 26, 2010

    Facial hair on a boyfriend often makes my face break out in a rash, and occasionally hives.

    So that answers that one :)

  121. #121 PZ Myers
    February 26, 2010

    Wait, what? Women object to kissing men with beards?

    Crap. Now you tell me, about 30 years too late.

  122. #122 SplendidMonkey
    February 26, 2010

    “You’ve been penalized for excess vajazzlement”

  123. #123 Akiko
    February 26, 2010

    As a female geologist I have to disagree with the adornment of the female anatomy with glittery things. The only thing I prefer rock-like is the diamond cutter the man I love possesses. Geology is full of sexy terms.

  124. #124 Jadehawk, OM
    February 26, 2010

    If so, then why do so many women object to kissing men with beards?

    they do?

    Hmmm, Jadehawk – there is your answer, glitter will spruce up that bush with nary a razor in sight.

    O.o

    why are we discussing my bush all of a sudden…?

  125. #125 Die Anyway
    February 26, 2010

    I am so looking for the glue and bits of mirror. Hot damn… Disco… Disco Balls…

    And the AC/DC reference: my wife had never heard that song so I found it on YouTube and played it for her. She didn’t find it to be funny.

    /goes off singing/ I think my balls should be held every night.

  126. #126 Akiko
    February 26, 2010

    Killjoy #82 Lovely post and I agree. The fuzz is pretty.

  127. #127 Blind Squirrel FCD
    February 26, 2010

    Call me when women start decorating their uterine walls.

    BS

  128. #128 Knockgoats
    February 26, 2010

    Dudes preferring hairless cooters is just a learnt preference. If they’d grown up in an era where hair in porn was normal, they’d not be offended by it. – Rachel Bronwyn

    I’m old enough to vouch for that. Indeed, old enough to remember when pubic hair first appeared in (soft, UK) porn, around my late teens. What a thrill :-p

  129. #129 Benjamin Geiger
    February 26, 2010

    I fall under the “if nobody’s looking, it doesn’t matter” rule, but when I actually have a reason to care about my appearance, I prefer to keep the region around Mr. Happy trimmed, but not shaved. (And not only because it’s damn near impossible to shave my scrotum without cutting it.)

    On the ladies, I prefer the same: trimmed (maybe 1/2 inch) but not bare. Though, at this point, it doesn’t particularly matter. (Know what I really want in a girl? Me.)

  130. #130 cicely
    February 26, 2010

    Akiko:

    The only thing I prefer rock-like is the diamond cutter the man I love possesses.

    Is that what they’re calling it, these days?

    ;^

  131. #131 Azkyroth
    February 26, 2010

    Dudes preferring hairless cooters is just a learnt preference. If they’d grown up in an era where hair in porn was normal, they’d not be offended by it. They’ve been taught normal = hairless though.

    Also, pubic hair does not equate to hair in the mouth during oral sex. Honestly, what the hell part of the vulva are people who complain about this licking?

    I won’t waste my time on guys who are offended by the natural female form. Upholding anyone to an unnatural standard of beauty is disgusting. Hairlessness is unnatural. Women shouldn’t feel they have to inconvenience themselves unless it makes them feel good. None of my girlfriends remove body hair for themselves. They do it for boyfriends and so they can get laid. It’s awful.

    I’m curious. Have you ever tried actually talking to a guy who prefers it when his partner shaves and listening to what he has to say about why?

  132. #132 JBlilie
    February 26, 2010

    I think those parts are perfect as evolved. No need for any bling there. Or trimming/shaving IMO.

    Reminds me of a funny (sort of) T-shirt I’ve seen: “All the battered women — and to think I’ve been eating mine plain all this time!”

  133. #133 Ragutis
    February 26, 2010

    So, how long before emergency rooms begin to see a stream of DIYers who thought “Well, I’ve still got that bag of sparkles from making the kids’ Halloween costumes. Where’s the hot glue gun?”

  134. #134 JeffreyD
    February 26, 2010

    Jadehawk, OM at #125 – your query, “why are we discussing my bush all of a sudden…?” My apologies, I was actually responding to Janine, Mistress Of Foul Mouth Abuse, OM at query at #76, “Do I need to shave my pubic area if I want to put something sniny there?”

    J names are a blind spot for me, did not learn mine until I near 50. Again, humble apologies.

    JeffreyD

  135. #135 Brownian, OM
    February 26, 2010

    There were a few times when I was into shaving, though it was solely for myself. The first few times, I actually shaved my body from crown to taint (you’d be surprised how easy it is to shave your scrotum with a standard razor; it’s like it knows how serious a fuck-up could be and conducts itself and its two passengers accordingly.) But after dealing with the itchiness and the fact that minus the natural muscle-defining shadow effect my body hair provides I end up looking like a fat, doughy infant wearing hair chaps, I’ve decided I’m gonna let this keratin forest have a little bit of freedom. But can I ask some of the older Pharyngulites when I can expect this shoulder hair to stop growing? Right now I’ve just got a few strands, but if this rate of expansion keeps up every time I take my shirt off I’m gonna think I’m being flanked by Davy Jones and Peter Tork crouching.

    Q: How do you get rid of unwanted pubic hair?
    A: phbphbptttphtt (spitting sound)

    LOLZ! As a man who really enjoys cunnilingus, I’m a big fan of a little naturalness. Not only is it visually pleasing, but it carries a lot of scent (a huge plus for those of us who are a little olfactorily-oriented), and acts as a natural serviette* for when things are getting a little too juicy.

    *Warning: Not a real serviette. Do not tuck into shirt collar or use to wipe hands. Injury or death (yours) may result.

  136. #136 heatherly
    February 26, 2010

    What bothers me is that so many women in the US have no problem talking about their vay-jay-jay, cootchie, hoo-hoo, muff or what-have-you– bedazzled or otherwise–but ask them to have a frank and earnest discussion about safe sex with their partner and they suddenly have laryngitis.

    Or they have no problem talking about their thong in the bar, but won’t say a word to their GYN about any problems they’re having because: “It’s too embarrassing.”

    The whole ‘manscaping’ idea just makes me remember the first rule of advertising: create the need, then sell the product.

  137. #137 Brownian, OM
    February 26, 2010

    So, how long before emergency rooms begin to see a stream of DIYers who thought “Well, I’ve still got that bag of sparkles from making the kids’ Halloween costumes. Where’s the hot glue gun?”

    Ha! My roommate makes a little extra coin clerking at an ER. I’ll ask her to keep an eye out.

  138. #138 heatherly
    February 26, 2010

    What bothers me is that so many women in the US have no problem talking about their vay-jay-jay, cootchie, hoo-hoo, muff or what-have-you– bedazzled or otherwise–but ask them to have a frank and earnest discussion about safe sex with their partner and they suddenly have laryngitis.

    Or they have no problem talking about their thong in the bar, but won’t say a word to their GYN about any problems they’re having because: “It’s too embarrassing.”

    The whole ‘manscaping’ idea just makes me remember the first rule of advertising: create the need, then sell the product.

  139. #139 heatherly
    February 26, 2010

    Apologies for the double-post!

  140. #140 Haley
    February 26, 2010

    I’m pretty sure my boyfriend wouldn’t come within 6 feet of my vulva if it was covered in rhinestones, and he would stay at least 10 feet away if it had glitter. Not to mention how uncomfortable just wearing pants would be, let alone actually having sex.

    When it comes to body hair, I figure that it’s an all or nothing package with secondary sex characteristics. You want breasts and hips? They come with pubic hair.

  141. #141 Rey Fox
    February 26, 2010

    “particularly the soft porn, where every actor is hairy”

    Generally there’s more hair in the softer porn since the camera isn’t doing gynecological work, so there needs to be a flag there to show that you’re looking at something “naughty”. If there weren’t any hair there, you’d think you were just watching network TV.

  142. #142 EricK
    February 26, 2010

    Not to be confused with Vajizzling.

  143. #143 momkat
    February 26, 2010

    Josh said: “Is your bush under control?” Reminds me of the cheerleader manager locally who regularly reminded her girls to “groom those cats” before each game.

  144. #144 otrame
    February 26, 2010

    My 2 cents? It’s your body. Go for it.

    Though I have to admit I have no interest in hairless. I like the machinery the way it came out of the box (pun not intended, but not bad, eh?)

    As long as we are discussing shaving, what about those of us of the female persuasion who are, shall we say, no longer young? The price I pay for the joy of no longer having a period is a gradually increasing beard. And to add insult to injury, most of the beard hairs are grey.

    I plucked hairs off my chin for years and only recently realized that I was spending too much time a day doing it, so I finally broke down and got a razor. I hate it, but I have a personal preference for not being a bearded lady.

  145. #145 Quidam
    February 26, 2010

    Pimp My Pudenda

  146. #146 Rachel Bronwyn
    February 26, 2010

    #132:

    “I’m curious. Have you ever tried actually talking to a guy who prefers it when his partner shaves and listening to what he has to say about why?”

    I have.

    #102:

    “If so, then why do so many women object to kissing men with beards? Why then can’t men complain about “kissing” a “bearded” woman?”

    I kiss a man with a beard every day. It’s great. I didn’t know women objected to it.

    I don’t grasp how people even come in contact with pubic hair when they’re going down on women. When I’m recieving oral sex, my outer labia are spread. The dude’s mouth will not come into contact with them unless he so choses. The hair is not so long and prickly it’s going to be crawling up their nose. Facial hair on a guy is much more difficult to avoid when kissing, not that it bugs me anyways.

    #82: I completely agree. I’ve always wondered why dudes care how big their wang looks. You can remove all the hair in the world and it still won’t actually be any bigger.

    #65, RE: Female pubic hair removal

    “Perhaps you have noticed that you pee. And sweat. And gawd-knows what else down there. Having vulval pubes is just an excuse to absorb all the grossness. So please, before you go being holier-than-thou about others who shave… Look at it rationally. It has nothing to do with the oppression of women, or whatever other stupid reasons I’ve heard. It just makes sense.”

    So, your body in it’s natural state is gross. That’s pretty strong evidence you’re as socially conditioned regarding female pubic hair as the dudes who moan about how dirty and unhealthy it is.

    I pee (though I have no idea how the piss could contact my pubic hair. That’s not how my anatomy functions.) I sweat. I excrete other substances, none of which are harmful. And I shower every day. Prior to sex, if it’s been a few hours sinse I showered, I can shower again.

    What you call “grossness” is completely harmless.
    If you want to take it to the extreme and accuse women who don’t submit to nonsensical beliefs like removing pubic hair makes more sense than bathing daily of being gross, you’re welcome to. I’m not going to be ashamed of my body, deeming it gross though. I will not inconvenience myself by constantly modifying it due to irrational aversion. You are accomplishing nothing more by removing pubic hair than I am by bathing. Pubic hair removal is completely unnecessary and an extreme method of maintaining hygiene (which, ironically, is often responsible for infection.) It does not make any more sense to remove pubic hair for hygiene’s sake than it does to hack off the foreskin.

    If it’s someone’s preference, I just don’t care. Calling the existence of vulval pubic hair gross though and deeming keeping it unhygeinic and nonsensical is not cool. Do with your own body what you like. Don’t tell every woman who does differently that they’re unhygienic. It’s an utterly laughable claim and hypocritical coming from someone accusing others of being holier than thou.

    Also, just because you shave for hygiene’s sake, does not mean that’s the case for most women.

  147. #147 Epikt
    February 26, 2010

    Brownian, OM:

    But can I ask some of the older Pharyngulites when I can expect this shoulder hair to stop growing? Right now I’ve just got a few strands, but if this rate of expansion keeps up every time I take my shirt off I’m gonna think I’m being flanked by Davy Jones and Peter Tork crouching.

    I don’t think it ever stops. But look on the bright side. Eventually it’s gonna make a kick-ass comb-over.

  148. #148 momkat
    February 26, 2010

    Working in L&D for 20+ years, I’d say I’ve seen more pudenda than most. My favorite personal anecdote involved the woman with the rose tattoo that began at the cleft of venus and ended at the navel. When I asked her why that particular location she said, “I wanted to give him something pretty to look at while he goes down on me.” I had a sudden pressing engagement in another room so I could laugh my ass off.

  149. #149 KOPD42
    February 26, 2010

    I’ll never be able to listen to “Rhinestone Cowboy” again.

  150. #150 Julie Stahlhut
    February 26, 2010

    I was going to make some properly uptight comments about what some people find attractive, and then I remembered that I was actually kind of turned on while watching the scene in Red Dwarf where Lister inadvertently made out with a giant bug.

    Never mind.

  151. #151 Alis Oman
    February 26, 2010

    I’ve only been reading this blog for a couple of months, but I’m constantly amazed by the breadth of new things I learn here… Thanks PZ.

    And thanks to all those who post, when topics like this come up, about appreciating, enjoying and savoring the vulva. There are too many of us who’ve been given the opposite impression by partners too many times. So thanks – it helps.

  152. #152 Carlie
    February 26, 2010

    momkat – I knew a woman once who had a lizard tattooed in approximately the same spot. Unfortunately, she had to have a c-section, and the surgeon wasn’t able to quite line up everything exactly, so she ended up with a permanently half-beheaded lizard tattoo.

  153. #153 momkat
    February 26, 2010

    Carlie, yeah, we had a Mickey Mouse end up kind of like that. Most women who get tattoos in that region don’t think too far ahead.

  154. #154 Aquaria
    February 26, 2010

    I tend to like hair on men. Long hair, beards (but not mustaches, for some reason), chest hair, and pubic hair. As long as it’s not too out of control it’s all good. But I’ve broken every single one of those rules for a man who has the really important traits I’m looking for-smarts, fun to be with, etc.

    Yes, I find a guy like Matsumoto Jun or the Aragorn version of Viggo Mortensen attractive, but if he’s a jerk, it doesn’t matter how he looks or what he adds or subtracts to that. Who he is as a person is ultimately the deciding factor.

  155. #155 Will Von Wizzlepig
    February 26, 2010

    as much as it’s frowned upon for men to get out and waggle their parts around in public, it would be nice if women were more inclined towards this kind of pride in their parts.

    yes- to each their own in the self-decoration department- but a huge trend in this rhinestone girl parts idea would just lend itself towards what I already suspect- that many women are ashamed of their parts.

    and that is really too bad.

  156. #156 FossilFishy
    February 26, 2010

    Uhm, wouldn’t this make one a star spangled banger?

  157. #157 Brownian, OM
    February 26, 2010

    I don’t think it ever stops. But look on the bright side. Eventually it’s gonna make a kick-ass comb-over.

    “Mommy, why is that man wearing a hair burqa?”

  158. #158 DLC
    February 26, 2010
  159. #159 JediBear
    February 26, 2010

    #147

    “I don’t grasp how people even come in contact with pubic hair when they’re going down on women. ”

    I’ll put that down to a lack of experience and a failure of imagination. Hair doesn’t always stay where it started (Humans, like other mammals, shed hairs almost constantly, not only from the head and face but from body hair as well,) and there’s a fair bit of breathing and other things going on. I can guarantee you that hair can and does end up in the nose and mouth.

    I don’t mind especially (actually, I prefer my girl naturally hairy,) but I can see how some men might. And as with women who don’t like beards, they can either get over it or accept the narrowing of their potential mate pool.

    @PZ – If you’re getting old based on this, so am I.

  160. #160 KOPD42
    February 26, 2010

    shiny happy people…

    I’m more of a furry happy monster.

  161. #161 Rev. BigDumbChimp
    February 26, 2010

    I’m more of a furry fat grumpster

  162. #162 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    February 26, 2010

    Eventually it’s gonna make a kick-ass comb-over.

    “Mommy, why is that man wearing a hair burqa?”

    Win. Win. Win. Win. Win. Win.

  163. #163 F
    February 26, 2010

    Rachel Bronwyn @ 55

    Also, pubic hair does not equate to hair in the mouth during oral sex. Honestly, what the hell part of the vulva are people who complain about this licking?

    Teh Lulz!

    And I rather appreciate the rest of the post as well.

  164. #164 timrowledge
    February 26, 2010

    and then I remembered that I was actually kind of turned on while watching the scene in Red Dwarf where Lister inadvertently made out with a giant bug

    OK Julie, step back from the keyboard and turn off your computer before you accidentally invoke Rule 34 of the Internet

  165. #165 F
    February 26, 2010

    Mike Crichton @ 56

    That’s why they do the waxing first. Takes longer for stubble to start growing than if they’d shaved.

    Because, you know, you don’t want growing hair to start popping of teh sninys at an inopportune moment.

  166. #166 Azkyroth
    February 26, 2010

    I don’t grasp how people even come in contact with pubic hair when they’re going down on women. When I’m recieving oral sex, my outer labia are spread. The dude’s mouth will not come into contact with them unless he so choses. The hair is not so long and prickly it’s going to be crawling up their nose.

    Probably TMI:

    I don’t know if this is something about the way my ex was built or positioned hereself just the shape of my neck muscles, but while performing oral sex I tended to wind up fairly close in with my nose nestled against her mound, where one or more hairs, when untrimmed, tended to wind up in one of my nostrils and get compressed and rubbed between the sides of the nasal passage, which was quite irritating and tended to result in my nose running quite unpleasantly by the time she climaxed.

    I suppose you don’t find “pubic hair full of snot” gross either?

    The other thing hairs tended to do is come loose, get stuck to something or other down there, and wind up partially under my tongue where dislodging them required significant effort.

    When we experimented with shaving her pubes we both responded really positively to me being able to use my tongue all over down there, comfortably and with her able to really feel it, and not just in a really narrow strip, so to speak. Ditto for fingertips, and not having the hair scraping against my wrist when we were, say, spooned up together with my arm reaching around and down made it considerably more comfortable (insert “rug burn” pun here).

    Not having to scrub blood out of hair also got a positive response, not just from a daily hygiene perspective but from a sexual one as well. For guys who are hesitant about orally contacting menses, not having hair to trap blood would make oral sex with a tampon in more feasible and appetizing (my ex had a weird hang-up about tampons, so I’m basically speaking theoretically here).

    But, by all means, keep telling yourself that it’s just something guys are “taught” is “normal” by porn.

  167. #167 SC OM
    February 26, 2010

    Probably TMI:…

    Naaaah.

  168. #168 Jadehawk, OM
    February 26, 2010

    But, by all means, keep telling yourself that it’s just something guys are “taught” is “normal” by porn.

    how is any of what you wrote any evidence that it ISN’T?

    this is precisely the same argument as “omfg, smegma is gross!”

    Also, I’ll never understand the freakout about blood and menstrual blood in particular.

  169. #169 SteveM
    February 26, 2010

    But can I ask some of the older Pharyngulites when I can expect this shoulder hair to stop growing?

    It doesn’t, that is where the hair from the head goes that results in male pattern baldness, it’s not falling out, it’s just migrating down the back.

  170. #170 Hairhead
    February 26, 2010

    Okay, Azkyroth and others who have problems with hair-migration during oral sex, I have some suggestions:

    1) Blood in the pubic hair.

    Ever heard of a shower? I (and my spouse) shower every day. If it’s a mucky day down there, another 5 mins in the shower takes care of that. And if you don’t want to shower, how about the “erotic washcloth” on the bed. Dip the cloth in a pan of hot water, squeeze out, massage the pussy. VERY nice for foreplay.

    2) Hairs coming out into your teeth/tongue.

    Two solutions. A) Comb the pubic hair. Depending on the coarseness of the hair being combed, you might have to try out a couple of different combs to find one with the right teeth. Combing pulls the loose hairs out; you might be surprised how many come out (don’t worry, they’ll grow back). B) “Comb” the pubic hair with your fingers. It’ll pull out loose hairs and its a really sensual form of foreplay; don’t be surprised if your partner asks you to pull harder.

    3) Hairs poking into the nostril.

    Answer #69. Sixty-nine. This way, your nose is actually between the labia, in the hairless areas. Otherwise, trim the pubic hair short enough in that area that they don’t poke. Oh, and use conditioner on the pubic hair, to soften it.

    Ultimate note: I’m strongly on the “natural” side in this debate, but that’s only my preference; I don’t begrudge anybody their own particular turn-ons. So, to everyone who has expressed their kinks and activities, I wish you the best for your sex lives. The only comment I have really taken issue with is the person who characterized pubic (and all body) hair as “gross”. That attitude is just nasty.

  171. #171 OurDeadSelves
    February 26, 2010

    A little late to the party, but no one’s seen this amazing product?

    IT BURNS.

  172. #172 Judy L.
    February 26, 2010

    Umm, we do have an all-encompassing term for the “lady bits”, two of them that I can think of, actually, but unfortunately neither is a “medical” term, and both are used as insults to men (brought to you by the letters P and C).

    I like a smooth face on a man, and while a clean-shaven appearance does make a man look more youthful and boyish, it certainly doesn’t make me a pedophile (I like adult bodies, complete with body hair).

    Vulva and mons shaving is a preference and there’s nothing wrong with it. I can totally understand the appeal for men as far as perfoming oral sex on women; hair-free testicles certainly feel smoother on the tongue. But most adults learn pretty quickly that the itchy re-growth just isn’t worth it.

  173. #173 Azkyroth
    February 27, 2010

    how is any of what you wrote any evidence that it ISN’T?

    You’re right; providing a list from my own experience (but highly generalizable) of several reasons for preferring partners to shave their pubes which are completely unrelated to porn or normalcy has absolutely no bearing on whether the generalization, that this preference is due to having been taught that it’s normal by porn, is valid.

    this is precisely the same argument as “omfg, smegma is gross!”

    How so, and if so, so what?

    Also, I’ll never understand the freakout about blood and menstrual blood in particular.

    Just to be clear, you’re aware that the issues I cited specifically apply to *ingesting* it, right?

    I’ve seen you comment on other threads. I know you’re smarter than this.

  174. #174 Standard curve
    February 27, 2010

    If rhinestones aren’t your style, try clitter…. errr glitter.

    http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/d3eec7a705/clitter-from-those-arent-muskets

  175. #175 Sanction
    February 27, 2010

    I, for one, have no problem performing oral sex on a woman during her menstrual cycle. My wife, however, informs me that my appearance after oral sex, specifically popping up from between her legs with the lower half of my face covered in blood, doesn’t quite do it for her.

    We agree on trimming her pubic hair around the outer labia. Helps prevent chafing during intercourse.

    Now that I’m oversharing, I might as well mention that I shave my armpits. I’ve found that it really cuts down on the smell after a long day.

  176. #176 Stardrake
    February 27, 2010

    Uhh, just a note for those of you thinking about using glitter…

    Remember that some glitter is actually made of small flakes of glass, and this is NOT something you want where it’s gonna get rubbed into tender bits of your body!

    (Not to mention the references to a certain Mariah Carey movie…….)

  177. #177 chuckgoecke
    February 27, 2010

    Prediction(about the next fad):
    Considering what many have said about the impracticality of hard abrasive jewels and such; and given the ever increasing reach and popularity of His Noodliness, He who’s name I dare not speak(without a belly full of pasta), people will start adorning themselves with soft squishy tentacle-like adornments similar to the rubbery fishing worms, from within and without, for better or wurst, in sickness and health, wealthy and wise, until death do you part. They will be silicone, or some other bio-compatible rubbery plastic. Glow-in-the-Dark, solar powered, photosynthetic and someday, engineered living organisms that are like parasitic pets, like Jabba the Hut had.

  178. #178 Rorschach
    February 27, 2010

    Hey feminazis, I present you exhibit A, by “Judy L” @ 173 :

    Umm, we do have an all-encompassing term for the “lady bits”, two of them that I can think of, actually, but unfortunately neither is a “medical” term, and both are used as insults to men (brought to you by the letters P and C).

    And so, finally, after many years of bloody warfare, the case is closed.
    Poor Louis.And someone get Strange Gods an Aspirine.
    :D :D :D

    Otherwise, this thread has pleasantly moved in just the direction I expected it to move after reading PZ’s piece…:-)

  179. #179 ~Pharyngulette~
    February 27, 2010

    (brought to you by the letters P and C)

    Whuh-oh. And I thought we were in trouble when someone used the phrase “hack off the foreskin” a bit further upthread.

    [dons earmuffs - giggling at the 'muff' image]

  180. #180 Jadehawk, OM
    February 27, 2010

    How so, and if so, so what?

    because it actually isn’t unless you’ve been trained by your environment to think so. you don’t need to be aware of having been trained for a particular preference for it to be so. denying it is sort of silly.

    Just to be clear, you’re aware that the issues I cited specifically apply to *ingesting* it, right?

    yes; and how is this more gross, unsanitary, whatever, than doing the same to jizz?

  181. #181 ambulocetacean
    February 27, 2010

    Clearly all you male Pharyngulites are behind the times

    http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/UnNews:Doctors_warn_of_Scrotox_dangers

  182. #182 jesusfetusfajitafishsticks
    February 27, 2010

    first sparkling vampires and now sparkling snatches…… *sigh*

  183. #183 Rorschach
    February 27, 2010

    Pharyngulette @ 115,

    Mustaches on the men, maps of Tasmania on the women

    *wanders off to study relevant source material*

    @ 145,

    I like the machinery the way it came out of the box (pun not intended, but not bad, eh?)

    So, you biology types, why is it by the way that we have lost our fur everywhere else, despite (within certain variations) under our arms and around our genitals ? What’s the evolutionary point with that ?

    Pubic hair removal is completely unnecessary and an extreme method of maintaining hygiene (which, ironically, is often responsible for infection.)

    Well yeah, but without this I would have missed out on this gorgeous 18yo pulling her pants down in front of moi and an astonished nurse, to show me some lovely pink labia her shaving rash couple years ago.
    :D

    Also, I’ll never understand the freakout about blood and menstrual blood in particular.

    Some ex’s seemed to turm into insatiable sex fiends during those days, must be some sort of bug in the creation matrix I guess, but I always found it quite enjoyable….:-)

  184. #184 deriamis
    February 27, 2010

    Well, this conversation has certainly devolved into a bunch of amateur biologists discussing everyday reproductive anatomy, hasn’t it? I certainly didn’t need to know some of these things about all of you, but I guess all’s good on the anonymous Internet, right? I’ll be rinsing my mind’s eye out for weeks. Thanks so much.

    Umm, we do have an all-encompassing term for the “lady bits”, two of them that I can think of, actually, but unfortunately neither is a “medical” term, and both are used as insults to men (brought to you by the letters P and C).

    Uh-oh. I’m not touching this one with a ten-foot pole. Last time the uber-feminists around here caught me using even a relatively benign gendered insult (it started with a B), a serious case of SIWOTI spread quickly and with great virulence, causing several people (including myself) to make utter fools of themselves. You’re on your own, sorry. I have a pussy that needs my attention and I can’t waste my time trading barbs with boobies.

    Yes, I do mean the non-bejeweled, hairy kind of pussy. The kind that meows. Oh, damn – the kind that has a tail and scratches up my couch, for all you people with dirty minds. Which is, by the look of things, most people here.

  185. #185 Rorschach
    February 27, 2010

    I certainly didn’t need to know some of these things about all of you, but I guess all’s good on the anonymous Internet, right? I’ll be rinsing my mind’s eye out for weeks. Thanks so much.

    And yet you still stay around, hypocrite.

  186. #186 ~Pharyngulette~
    February 27, 2010
  187. #187 Rorschach
    February 27, 2010

    Ehm, Pharyngulette,

    when I said I was going to study reference material, being aware of the origin of the quote, I was not talking about maps…:-)

  188. #188 deriamis
    February 27, 2010

    And yet you still stay around, hypocrite.

    What can I say except that I have the same morbid curiosities most people have but never admit? I said I didn’t need to know these things. I did not say they weren’t fascinating. If you don’t have to rinse your mind’s eye, you lead a very boring life by my estimation.

  189. #189 chuckgoecke
    February 27, 2010

    I should have spent a bit more time to read this thread before my previous post, just because this is one of the most enjoyable discussions I’ve read(one tract mind at work here). My two cents on the female pubic hair thing. I can understand either extreme, either leave it alone full natural, or take it all off. A friend from my home town mentioned the same about my silly attempt to sculpt my new beard, whereas he had a full on its way to Gibbons and Hill(ZZ Top) beard. “If you going to shave anything, why not shave it all”, he said. My least favorite is the little Hitleresque “landing strips”. My spouse tried it once(ie let me shave her). It was nice especially for the oral sex, but the in-growns and itchy stubble after made it not really worth the trouble. The stubble reminded me of kissing my dad when I’d go down on her, sort of a buzz kill. Lately there’s been a plague of ads for laser hair removal which, even if it was expensive and took a number of visits, it seems would remove most of the negatives, and I might think it was worth reconsidering.

  190. #190 Caine
    February 27, 2010

    ?The trend exploded when Jennifer Love Hewitt announced that she Vajazzles regularly to feel good about her privates.?

    Someone’s self esteem is a bit low. As someone who regularly ends up with superglue on her fingertips (art work and dragon models), there is no way in hell I’d want it on my vulva. Uh uh. Besides, I prefer to think my vulva is the sparkly in the treasure hunt. No adornment required.

  191. #191 Judy L.
    February 27, 2010

    Rorschach #179 – I have NO idea what you are trying to get at by quoting my post (exhibit A of what argument, exactly?), but since you used the term “feminazis”, I can only assume your comment is something demented.

    And deriamis #185 – My comment was in response to several people’s observation that vagina is used incorrectly to refer to the entirety of “lady bits”, and that we lack an “all encompassing” term to refer to a woman’s genitals, especially the outer genitalia. I simply pointed out that there are in fact such words (pussy and cunt), but that these “dirty” words can’t be used in most public discourse due to their vulgarity and denigrating connotations. The fact that these terms are also some of the worst epithets that you can hurl at a man is simply a sad fact of our culture.

  192. #192 Sanction
    February 27, 2010

    The stubble reminded me of kissing my dad when I’d go down on her, sort of a buzz kill.

    Sort of a buzz kill?

  193. #193 Rorschach
    February 27, 2010

    I have NO idea what you are trying to get at by quoting my post

    Sorry, it was an in-joke, a reference to a long-standing, ever reoccuring discussion on this blog, that non-regulars would be unaware of, and not meant to be anything else…:-)

  194. #194 deriamis
    February 27, 2010

    The stubble reminded me of kissing my dad when I’d go down on her, sort of a buzz kill.

    Uhm. Ya think? But I suppose it’s worse if you’re straight. I totally don’t get the same feeling when I kiss my husband, for instance.

  195. #195 deriamis
    February 27, 2010

    @Judy L. #192: I don’t actually think in terms of gender, but I have been known to use gendered insults on occasion. Then, I have also been known to use gendered compliments as well. Both are sad facts of both our society and the English language, even if they are largely benign. I just don’t worry about constantly editing myself and some overly-sensitive people get overworked about it.

    The response was largely tongue-in-cheek in any case. It was the same in-joke Rorschach had referenced.

  196. #196 shonny
    February 27, 2010

    Hmpf!
    There you are, all ready for a bit of muff diving, and all you hit is a rock paved patio!
    Killjoy!

  197. #197 FrankT
    February 27, 2010

    Like a Rhinestone Reverse Cowgirl.

  198. #198 bathbuns
    February 27, 2010

    I couldn’t read this and not post this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV4Kzwk4jZE

    ‘I’ve had my wendy bo dereked.’ LOL

    Smack the pony was amazing.

  199. #199 CortxVortx
    February 28, 2010

    re: #128

    Ha! Some of us remember the Cosmo parody!