Pharyngula

Crime does not pay

I showed you that video of an octopus stealing a camera, now here’s one of an octopus trying to snatch a crescent wrench. Unfortunately, he is punished horribly.

Man, cuttlefish are brutal.

(embed code is buggy — here’s a link if it doesn’t load)

Comments

  1. #1 Nerd of Redhead, OM
    April 17, 2010

    Man, cuttlefish are brutal.

    No! Can’t be. Our Cuttlefish is a gentlecephalod…

  2. #2 Nerd of Redhead, OM
    April 17, 2010

    Dang, can’t even spell gentlecephalopod correctly. *Hangs head in shame* Almost time for bed…

  3. #3 Ughable
    April 17, 2010

    Sometimes the enforcers have to crack down on cross-phyla playtime. It’s improper.

  4. #4 jcmartz.myopenid.com
    April 17, 2010

    Man, cuttlefish are brutal.

    That’s because the octopus let its guard down.

  5. #5 articulett
    April 17, 2010

    Okay, I know the octopus looked sinister… and it DID steal the camera… and cuttlefish need to eat– but was anyone else traumatized by witnessing the last moments of life for the octopus?!

    Yow! (Or maybe I should say yaka-wow) http://www.mindhacks.com/blog/2010/04/breezy_people.html#comments

  6. #6 Shala
    April 17, 2010

    Is there like an octopus crime syndicate going on here or something?

  7. #7 zenmonkey.myopenid.com
    April 17, 2010

    I have to admit, I thought of you when I saw this earlier today. I enjoyed it even more than the octopus with the camera — is that wrong?

  8. #8 phoenixwoman
    April 17, 2010

    Good thing cuttlefish only live for one to two years, tops. (Same with octopi.)

  9. #9 Feynmaniac, Chimerical Toad
    April 17, 2010

    Is there like an octopus crime syndicate going on here or something?

    Yep, one led by Al Cephalopone. They got tentacles stretching everywhere.

    Alright, I’m outta here…..

  10. #10 Shala
    April 17, 2010

    Yep, one led by Al Cephalopone.

    HATE

  11. #11 Andyo
    April 17, 2010

    This one is also on youtube.

  12. #12 Talapus
    April 18, 2010

    Poor little cephalopod. It was completely set up. The human behind the camera was clearly distracting it from the danger in the background with interesting bright shiny objects. I call foul.

  13. #13 Glen Davidson
    April 18, 2010

    I’ve always said, if the cops would eat more criminals, crime rates would decline dramatically.

    They’re not laughing any more.

    Glen D
    http://tinyurl.com/mxaa3p

  14. #14 DagoRed
    April 18, 2010

    That sneaky cuttlefish was totally spineless!

  15. #15 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    April 18, 2010

    OMG. I try not to anthropomorphize animals, but I gotta tell ya, cephalopods awe me. I can’t shake the feeling that there’s far more cunning and intelligence going on there than we’d normally credit.

  16. #16 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    April 18, 2010

    Oh, and yeah, it was a total douchebag thing to do for that cuttlefish to come up on that octopus and eat him. I want to love both cuttlefish and octopi, and I resent having my loyalties divided this way.

  17. #17 Jillian Swift
    April 18, 2010

    I dunno, just made me hungry for tako sushi.

  18. #18 maglione.k
    April 18, 2010

    Hm… I know that they’re from different orders and all, but that somehow feels like cannibalism to me. It’s almost as bad as Humans eating other primates.

  19. #19 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    April 18, 2010

    #18:

    Agreed. It’s just. . . wrong.

  20. #20 ambulocetacean
    April 18, 2010

    Cephalopod-on-cephalopod violence makes me sad. THEY’RE HURTING THE CAUSE, GODDAMMIT!

  21. #21 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    April 18, 2010

    THEY’RE HURTING THE CAUSE, GODDAMMIT!

    They so are, and it makes me a Very Sad Panda. Can’t they all just get along? Can they not simply entwine their eight suckered limbs in mutual respect. Can’t they just sing “Kumbaya?” It’s a one-octave melody, for Christ’s sake. Anyone can sing it. Even sea creatures.

  22. #22 ambulocetacean
    April 18, 2010

    Josh, sometimes we need diplomats as well as warriors.

  23. #23 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    April 18, 2010

    #22 -

    Pshaw. We need tuneful salt-water-dwelling life forms. And that is all.

  24. #24 ambulocetacean
    April 18, 2010

    Josh, that’s your answer to everything: “Let’s just go and live under the sea.”

  25. #25 Josh, Official SpokesGay
    April 18, 2010

    Josh, that’s your answer to everything: “Let’s just go and live under the sea.”

    Well, wouldn’t it be nice? Imagine it. . . all that salty water just rushing over you peacefully, no wretched offspring of middle class parents throwing fits in the food court at the mall. Everyone having eight. .count them, eight limbs. .

    A boy can dream. . .

  26. #26 surprises aplenty
    April 18, 2010

    Cuttlefish have ten limbs, don’t they? Them and squid. I guess they have at least eight.

  27. #27 Jadehawk, OM
    April 18, 2010

    live under the sea.

    stoopid disney song stuck in my head now!!!!!

  28. #28 Cougar
    April 18, 2010

    Aaww, that poor little darling. That’s what you get for being curious. I love octopi. They are so cute.

  29. #29 Utakata
    April 18, 2010

    A random thought dropped into my head watching that…

    …we will know humans have become speciated when one tries to eat the other. Though I don’t suppose that will happen for a very long time.

  30. #30 blf
    April 18, 2010
  31. #31 blf
    April 18, 2010

    [I]f the cops would eat more criminals, crime rates would decline dramatically.

    Like donuts?
    I knew there was a reason I didn’t trust those holy buggers…

  32. #32 jagannath
    April 18, 2010

    And the lesson for the day specifically for the men is that it is not the size of the tool that matters but how you use it. :)

  33. #33 Day
    April 18, 2010

    WOW! what a surprise attack, I kept looking for the the cuttlefish, [SPOILER] never knowing that the big pierce of plant in the background was the cuttlefish in disguise![/SPOILER]

  34. #34 pjvloon
    April 18, 2010

    “Is there like an octopus crime syndicate going on here or something?

    Yep, one led by Al Cephalopone. They got tentacles stretching everywhere.”

    There was an Italian TV series in the 80s about the mafia called “La Piovra”…
    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086779/

  35. #35 'Tis Himself, OM
    April 18, 2010

    See, kids, that’s what happens when you steal tools. So restrict yourself to stealing cars, electronics, booze and money or else the cuttlefish’ll get ya!

  36. #36 jennyxyzzy
    April 18, 2010

    It’s a cephalopod eat cephalopod world out there!

  37. #37 Draken
    April 18, 2010

    It’s not eating it. It’s dragging it into safety, away from that heinous cameraman.

  38. #38 blf
    April 18, 2010

    It’s dragging it into safety, away from that heinous cameraman.

    Not quite correct: The octopus is pushing the very surprised cuttlefish to safety.

  39. #39 irenedelse
    April 18, 2010

    Ouch! Where is CETC (Cephalopods for the Ethical Treatment of Cephalopods) when you need them?

  40. #40 irenedelse
    April 18, 2010

    Though IMO, the priceless part is the tone of utter shock and surprise of the poor cameraman… Another day in the underwater jungle!

  41. #41 Cuttlefish, OM
    April 18, 2010

    Such speculation…

    The octopus was on the verge of giving away secrets to a goddamn vertebrate, and had to be stopped. (see comment here: http://runningponies.com/2010/03/29/seahorse-would-like-you-to-keep-your-shit-to-yourself-thanks-cuttlefish/ )

    Oh, and a poll to pharyngulate: http://digitalcuttlefish.blogspot.com/2010/04/500th-post-and-poll.html

  42. #42 "Roger"
    April 18, 2010

    To the joker at #9 who said:

    Yep, one led by Al Cephalopone. They got tentacles stretching everywhere.

    Alright, I’m outta here…..

    Run hard, run fast, you bastard….

  43. #43 Sven DiMilo
    April 18, 2010

    Cuttlefish = Seacops

    I try not to anthropomorphize animals

    um, the Sad Kitten story?

    It’s almost as bad as Humans eating other primates.

    a) humans do that all the time and always have; b) systematically speaking, it’s a lot more like humans eating pigs.

  44. #44 david.utidjian
    April 18, 2010

    systematically speaking, it’s a lot more like humans eating pigs.

    Mmmm… cephalobacon, octobacon. Smoked octopus can be quite good (not the canned stuff.)

    -DU-

  45. #45 Pareidolius
    April 18, 2010

    I say the octopus was no fool. He was just minding his own business, tending his garden.

    He saw the Cuttlefish of Terror? hovering there. He was holding the wrench because he knew that the COT? would have a horrible time taking him and the wrench off to CuttleCom? to devour him as a tasty snack.

    As usual, the big ‘ol air-breathin’, meddlesome monkey interferes with the crafty cephalopod’s well-reasoned plan and tragedy ensues.

    I hope that diver can sleep.

  46. #46 Bored Wombat
    April 18, 2010

    This is why intelligence is rare to evolve.

    You take a few seconds out to develop a bit of tool use and BAM! you’re sushi.

    Our only hope for a technological society is to line breed octopi that can use crescent wrenches ourselves.

    With a two year life span and Catholic humans breeding the most, we should be able pass human IQ at some point, and have them do our maths homework for us. All in base 8.