Discard Food Product. Eat Packaging.

While I would like to be posting cool recipes (with pictures, even!), I'm currently on a somewhat restricted diet. This isn't a terribly serious post, and may slide over into "self-pitying," so I'll put the bulk of it behind the cut.

About a year ago, I had some stomach problems that were eventually identified as acid reflux. It went away with a little medication, and some minor lifestyle changes (getting more exercise, not eating right before bed), and everything was fine for a long period. Then, having been advised that losing weight would get rid of the problem entirely (and suspecting that losing weight would help my basketball game and general health), I started making a serious effort to eat less and exercise more.

Unfortunately, part of the "eat less" strategy (drinking tea as a substitute for eating junk food at work) caused the reflux to come back with a vengeance (see if I ever take advice from doctors again...), which accounts for the generally dyspeptic tone of this blog the past few weeks. This, in turn, has led to a bunch more trips to the doctor, and a referral to a gastroenterologist who presented me with a list of foods to avoid, along with the usual instructions not to smoke or drink alcohol, which I think is a deep spinal reflex in the medical profession. If you sneak up behind a doctor and startle them, they yell "Don't smoke or drink alcohol!"

The list of foods to avoid:

  • citrus fruits/li>
  • chocolate
  • drinks with caffeine
  • fatty and fried foods
  • garlic and onions
  • mint flavorings
  • spicy foods
  • tomato-based foods, like spaghetti sauce, chili, and pizza

That list pretty much covers, well, everything I eat. Yeah, this is going to do wonders for my mood...

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If you want spaghetti, try it with pesto instead of bolognese-type sauce. You can add a dab of olive oil and cut a few black olives into it if you want. This is the main component of my student diet (ramen is sooo last year).

I lived on Zantac for several years. Really. After just about every meal. Once I started doing TKD, the reflux disappeared after the first 20 pounds came off. I've lost 60 total, and I've had one instance of reflux in the last 2.5 years. That one was deserved as I shouldn't have forced myself to eat that much food in one sitting, but oh my, it was good and I hated the idea of chucking it.

Find something, anything, that you can do regularly that you find enjoyable. The nice thing about doing TKD for me is the regular class schedule and the other students, we are reinforcement for each other to keep going. The regular schedule means it's easy to fit it in, and of course the encouragement from the people around is always welcome. Are your basketball games regularly scheduled? Can they be? How often do you play? At least three times a week is ideally what you want.

Taking classes 3 - 5 times a week and cutting back on portions worked wonders for me (I refuse to change my diet, I like food, but I can make a conscious effort to leave a predetermined portion on my plate). Oh, and be prepared to feel hungry. You can't lose weight if your body isn't taking in less calories than it's burning...that whole conservation thing. I'm sure you know how that one works, being a Fizzy Cyst, and all.

I lived on Zantac for several years. Really. After just about every meal. Once I started doing TKD, the reflux disappeared after the first 20 pounds came off. I've lost 60 total, and I've had one instance of reflux in the last 2.5 years. That one was deserved as I shouldn't have forced myself to eat that much food in one sitting, but oh my, it was good and I hated the idea of chucking it.

This is the annoying thing: I had gone months without an incident, and everything was great, right up until I started to lose weight. And half the point of trying to lose weight in the first place was to eliminate the reflux problem forever.

If I had stayed fat, I'd still be happy, goddammit.

As for the rest, I play basketball at least twice a week, three times in a good week. The only problem with it is it's a lunchtime game, and playing hard enough to really get some exercise occasionally screws up my afternoons at work.

This looks like a good opportunity for you to learn the art of making sushi. Healthy and aesthetically pleasing.

Diets have an interesting pyschological effect: Even if you don't live longer, it's going to seem like it.

I am hoping to be saved by modern science. So far scientists have determined that coffee is good for you and chocolate is good for you. An inspiring beginning.

Did you get a chance to drop the tea for a couple of weeks before making the other changes?

Contrary to much popular advice, tannic acid is one of the nastiest substances that humans ingest voluntarily. It can make your stomach do angry backflips.

Chad, two comments:

First, when an acquaintance had that problem, the list of no-no's included high-fiber food. Apparently your stomach will crank out more acid to deal with the fiber.

Second, try swimming. There's one advantage of after-work swimming - when I did it, it kept me light on lunch, because a heavy lunch was still surprisingly perceptable when swimming.

My experience (I've had reflux for years now) is that some of the bad foods are significantly worse than others. I still eat plenty of garlic, onions, tomatoes, and various spicy foods with no ill effects. Chocolate is a big problem (I eat a bit occasionally, but I notice the effects every time), coffee is a big problem, other caffeinated drinks are a lesser problem (I drink tea, for example). Obviously this varies from person to person, but with experimentation you may find you don't really need to avoid everything on that list.

The different drugs also vary in their effects. I used to take Pepcid, but it gradually stopped working well for me, so I was switched to Prilosec, which works very well. I've also tried Zantac, which didn't do much for me (except for a nasty side effect). Changing drugs might help (until the problem goes away entirely, assuming it does).

Barry: First, when an acquaintance had that problem, the list of no-no's included high-fiber food. Apparently your stomach will crank out more acid to deal with the fiber.

So, in other words, I can't eat the packaging, either? Great.

Dan Blum: My experience (I've had reflux for years now) is that some of the bad foods are significantly worse than others. I still eat plenty of garlic, onions, tomatoes, and various spicy foods with no ill effects. Chocolate is a big problem (I eat a bit occasionally, but I notice the effects every time), coffee is a big problem, other caffeinated drinks are a lesser problem (I drink tea, for example). Obviously this varies from person to person, but with experimentation you may find you don't really need to avoid everything on that list.

I hope that will eventually be the case. Right at the moment, I can't seem to eat much of anything without causing problems-- I'm down to white rice and plain vegtables, at the moment.

I'm hoping that this is just a matter of having seriously irritated my stomach with too much tea, and it will eventually recover, but the next couple of weeks are going to capital-S Suuuuck.