(WASHINGTON, DC) On the heels of reports from Oslo that the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded jointly to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change and former US Vice President Al Gore, a White House spokesman issued a statement saying that “significant uncertainty” remained regarding the recipient of the prize.

“The President feels that at this time, it’s too early to say for sure whether Al Gore has won the Peace prize,” said White House spokesman Scott Stencil. “The science is just not conclusive yet. The President feels that more study is needed before we agree that this honor has been conferred to the former Vice President.”

When reporters pointed out that the announcement had been posted on the official Nobel Prize web site, Stencil raised the possibility of malicious computer hackers. “We have solid intelligence that indicates that pedophile computer hackers affiliated with Al Qaeda were planning to attack the Nobel Prize site. We think this ‘announcement’ might be the work of Islamofascist tree-huggers, and encourage all American citizens to run back to bed and cower under the covers until we determine the truth.” Stencil refused to identify the source of this intelligence, citing national security concerns.

The White House plans to call an international summit in early 2008, involving representatives of major oil-producing countries, to determine the real winner of the Nobel Prize. “We should be able to establish a clear consensus on the true winner of the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize by no later than October of 2015,” Stencil said. “We ask that people be patient.”

The announcement was the latest in a series of decisions that critics say indicate that the President is becoming increasingly disconnected from reality. These include his refusal to acknowledge the retirement of former British Prime Minister Tony Blair, an insistence that Will and Rebecca are still contestants on ‘Beauty and the Geek,’ and pretty much the entire Iraq war.

Vice President Cheney was in the shop having his transmission serviced, and could not be reached for comment.

Comments

  1. #1 Dave Munger
    October 12, 2007

    Maybe we ought to ask the Supreme Court whether he won….

  2. #2 J-Dog
    October 12, 2007

    This is fianlly going to get me to commit to working for the Re-Elect Al Gore Campaign.

  3. #3 Kate Nepveu
    October 12, 2007

    an insistence that Will and Rebecca are still contestants on ‘Beauty and the Geek,’

    Talk about your sneaky shout-outs!

  4. #4 perry
    October 12, 2007

    well cone Chad….

  5. #5 Vityok
    October 12, 2007

    It is a joke, isn’t it?

  6. #6 Will "scifantasy" Frank
    October 12, 2007

    Yeah, that was sneaky. Thanks!

  7. #7 Chad Orzel
    October 12, 2007

    It is a joke, isn’t it?

    I was sort of hoping that would be obvious from the last two paragraphs. It is awfully hard to tell satire from reality with this White House, though.

  8. #8 Doug Natelson
    October 12, 2007

    Hee hee. Good one. Seriously, though, how long will it be before Fox News reports on how winning the Nobel Prize is actually a sign of weakness or lack of patriotism or communist sympathies? I guarantee that someone will point out that Arafat won one, and thus the whole thing is a sham.

  9. #9 Moshe
    October 12, 2007

    Brilliant! (I was searching for the link to The Onion…).

  10. #10 Warren
    October 12, 2007

    The last two grafs, if anything, only reinforce the impression that this is not satire.

  11. #11 Proteus454
    October 12, 2007

    Comedy Gold, Sir!

  12. #12 Coin
    October 12, 2007

    Hee hee. Good one. Seriously, though, how long will it be before Fox News reports on how winning the Nobel Prize is actually a sign of weakness or lack of patriotism or communist sympathies? I guarantee that someone will point out that Arafat won one, and thus the whole thing is a sham.

    Sir, you have proven prescient:

    On Fox and Friends this morning, co-host Steve Doocy … sarcastically said. “What do Al Gore, Yasser Arafat, and that crazy Jimmy Carter have in common?” Co-host Gretchen Carlson responded, “They all won the Nobel Peace Prize?”

    Fox then displayed a chyron of the last few winners of the Nobel Peace Prize, causing another co-host Brian Kilmeade, to complain: “There’s the last five winners — see Mohamed El Baradei. What do they have in common? I don’t know about the 2006 winner, but I will say 2005 and 2007 both anti-Bush.”

  13. #13 Shnakepup
    October 12, 2007

    It is a joke, isn’t it?

    I actually believed it for a second, myself…I put nothing past this White House.

    Okay, who wants to place a bet one whether life will imitate art and we’ll see the White House do a press release with the same sentiment as the satire above? ;)

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