I Like Toast

“Hey, whatcha doin’?”

“Making breakfast.”

“I don’t know if you know this, but I like toast.”

i-2510f4df87263ff04e623ea158e4b424-sm_lol_toast.jpg

“Really? You don’t say.”

“Was that sarcasm? I’m not so good with sarcasm.”

“No, I just never would’ve guessed from the way you gaze longingly at the counter every morning…”

“OK, that’s definitely sarcasm.”

“Or the way you lick the floor to pick up spilled crumbs…”

“OK–”

“Or the way you shove your head into my lap when I’m eating breakfast. Or, for that matter, the way that we have the ‘I Like Toast’ conversation every morning. What could possibly give you the idea that I don’t know about your liking for toast?”

“Well, you never give me any toast…”

“Well, that’s not out of ignorance, believe me.”

“Oh. OK.”

“So we’re done with this conversation. We’re not talking about toast any more. OK?”

“OK.”

“Good.”

“I don’t know if you know this, but I really like bacon.”

Comments

  1. #1 Anon
    February 7, 2008

    I firmly believe that every dog has a voice. I have read many attempts to translate that voice to the written page, but none so perfect as yours. Maybe it is because your dog speaks in the same voice as my dog, I don’t know. But I just wanted to thank you for listening so well to your dog, and for sharing it so well with the rest of us.

  2. #2 (((Billy)))
    February 7, 2008

    I think your dog is channeling one of my cats. Sorry.

  3. #3 chezjake
    February 7, 2008

    “I don’t know if you know this, but I really like bacon.”

    Ah, Emmy’s got you in a corner now. She’s probably been reading Dave Bacon: http://scienceblogs.com/pontiff/2007/12/bacon_flow_chart.php

  4. #4 Brian
    February 7, 2008

    RE: chezjake:

    Well, she’s clearly not wearing pants…

  5. #5 Salad Is Slaughter
    February 7, 2008

    I have this conversation every day with three dogs and two cats. Usually it revolves around cheese.

  6. #6 Chad Orzel
    February 7, 2008

    I have this conversation every day with three dogs and two cats. Usually it revolves around cheese.

    Cheese is another popular topic. Particularly this week, as I made tacos the other night, so there’s been shredded cheese on the counter a lot.

  7. #7 Jamie Bowden
    February 7, 2008

    Were there bunnies made of cheese?

  8. #8 Amber
    February 7, 2008

    My husband and I have this conversation with 4 dogs, every single day. They particularly recognize the yogurt cups.

    Actually, my white shepherd can say “hello” rather well at this point. Too cute. :)

  9. #9 Natalie
    February 7, 2008

    Yeah – It’s an Emmy conversation. We’ve missed her, don’t you know!

  10. #10 James
    February 8, 2008

    That is a cool depressed looking dog…reminds me of the Tennessee mascot.