I'm going to have to have a little talk with my mom

I didn't get the right leg up on my financial situation from my mother. If she'd done her job right, I might be in Bristol Palin's situation. Bristol Palin, famous for being the daughter of a wackaloon politician and nothing else, was signed on to be the public spokesperson for a foundation advocating abstinence-only sex education (which is already ironic, given that the most attention Bristol otherwise got was for getting pregnant out of marriage). We now have the financial statements from that organization. We can lay out the big picture simply.

Bristol Palin's salary: $262,500

Advertising: $165,000

Actual health and counseling clinics: $35,000

On second thought, maybe Mom did raise me right. I'm not a bloated parasite sucking up a fat salary at the expense of desperate teenagers.

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